The way things can be taken PLEASE READ THIS!

Leave your coat where it is phoenix! i agree with you. It doesn't take much effort to remain friendly and not leap to conclusions that offence is intended.

I'm sure so many of these spats would fizzle out if others didn't want their two penn'orth.

Thanks when !
I do think that offence is often in the ear/eye/spleen/big toe (delete where not applicable) of the reader/recipient/casual passer-buy/earwig, but there is nothing that can be done about it.

When I re-read some posts that I have written, I can often see that they could be read in a completely different way to that which I meant.

It is not people disagreeing with opinions, even quite forcibly, that makes me want to give up, as we all have opinions, as long as they are voiced in a reasonable way. It is more the way so many good threads are turned in to jokes with inane banter between a few patronising but eloquent people which seems to me to demean the people enjoying the thread. To me it demonstrates a sense of humour that I am afraid I don't "get", and I personally find it immature and annoying, but I have had my rant already today so will shut up. Interestingly though I have had a few PM's from others supporting what I said for which I was grateful.

I think the scenario is often like this:

A: posts something
B: posts something
C: posts saying that is a terrible/insulting/patronising thing to say
D,E,& F: post saying how dare you (C) criticise A's post
G,H,& J: post saying how dare you (C) criticise B's post
C: posts saying 'I am entitled to my opinion'
K,L,& M: post saying A was quite right to say what she did
N,O,& P: post saying B was quite right to say what she did
Q,R,& S: post in support of C
T,U,& V: post, telling D,E,F,K,L,M they are supporting the wrong person
W,X,&Y: post, angry at G,H,J,N,O,P for supporting B
Z: posts advising everyone to calm down, leave the thread, etc.
C: posts accusing Z of trying to shut down the thread, bar free speech, etc.

Meanwhile: OP sigh's and vows to keep her worries to herself in future
A & B, totally oblivious are busy planning to meet up on another thread.

PS: There is no I in this ramble because I am keeping out of it.

Granny23

How wonderfully put!

Beautifully put Granny23

FFS!

It's an effing forum on the internet. It's not a religion.

Granny 23 more or less right but you forget that somewhere around K someone will start speaking in code, I turn up and become completely bewildered, feel left out as I've got no idea whether G and Z are one and the same person as J seems to be implying. Meanwhile, someone else needs a bit of TLC (probably me if I've been to see my Mum!!) and they don't get it because of all the above!

Possibly!!

Yes, makes one wonder why we even bother. Very depressing isn't it?

A should be happy, oh so happy
Laughing ha ha chaffing ha ha
B should die in misery
Of course that is assuming that I am A

(Apologies to G &S)

Sorry. Couldn't resist it? (Repentant)

23 . IMHO problems are sometimes caused when C posts on behalf of B after B has replied to A (or something like that). I think adult women can mostly speak for themselves and if they can't, that's what paid moderators are for!

I realise I am (unnecessarily) a little bit 'sharper' than what I would normally be, though but I think that has nothing to do with GN and more to do with me.

Hold on while I draw a graph.

'Paid moderators' though, Grannyknot? I don't think GNHQ see themselves in that role - they don't just pop up and tell us off if things are getting a bit heated!

JJing
It's like an algebraic quadratic equation isn't it?

My bit of A4
Has been thrown on the floor'
My As and my Cs
Fell apart on my knees,
My Bs won't align
Cos I've had too much wine,
Can't follow this thread,
So I'll head off to bed.

I think I'll follow
Or else tomorrow
Knackered I will be

I've had some wine
And I think it's time

To do the washing,up!

merlot funny! I think what I mean by paid moderators is that forums are meant to self moderate but sometimes obviously this one doesn't and then 'staff' have to jump in! Am gonna put a smiley face on every post now

The bit about moderators was in reply to Ana. Must go now husband is nagging me to come and watch telly.

[s,ile]

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

merlot*! How do you do it?! Fantastic!

I'm not sure that what I was trying to get at has actually come across! So not exactly a sort of QED, or is it?

I think that [sometimes] once someone has got a fixed idea in their head about what another poster is like, they interpret everything they say from a different perspective [and yes, I hold up my hands and say it's something I do and am aware of doing]. Going back to the first post, years ago I'd had a new kitchen fitted and I was quite chuffed with it. A friend came round who only visited every decade or so and I showed her my kitchen. Her only comment was how much she liked the curtains. Of course, I assumed she didn't like it until a few years later I visited her house and she'd had a new kitchen, and it looked very similar to mine. I then realised that she did like my kitchen, but really, really liked my curtains. Which shows how easy it is to misinterpret what someone says.