Right LIL has decided that Ella is Head Barmaid Goose you are relief barmaid when Ella asks you to help out......and as Lil has just 'done one' to Spain for a week, and football on every night next week!, you should both be busy.
Cor blimey! Can I really? Can I really be relief barmaid Pete? I've never been a relief barmaid before. I'm just going to nip up to the Butcher's Arms and tell Fred and the others (you can leave my 'perks of the job' two pints of Scotch and Soda behind the bar for me
It's a blooming short shortlist with only one person on it, aint it? Sounds like a fix to me. Pete, what you need behind the bar in this place is a curvy, big haired, buxom blonde bombshell, who doesn't live too far away and can climb through toilet kitchen windows if there's a lock-in or out, who can pull a pint with a big head on (saves beer that way). I know just the person
well, they said it was beef I'd won but I have noticed that Fred's old piebald's been missing for a while. Right, when do I start as the new barmaid then? I could nip over the bar now and practice a few pump pulls?
Are you sure the job's taken, Pete? Surely you could give Goose a personal interview.....I'm sure she'd be only too willing to show you her moves! Don't take no for an answer, Goose!