Invisible Women

Years ago, I knew someone who wrote 'I'm up here' with a vertical-pointing arrow on her belly before she went to her next ante-natal appointment. She said she was fed up with people carrying on discussions and asking questions across her torso and never looking at her face. Perhaps we could write something on our foreheads? Carry a balloon? Dye our hair an unnatural colour? Wear something really striking?

Then people would just avoid us altogether, or call security!

I hate it when people speak to me when it is my Mother who is buying/or enquiring.

Prime example today, she is considering selling her house and I had to keep reminding the estate agent Mum is selling the house not me. They also asked for my email address - advised them to ask Mum for her email address as she has a computer and uses it (even face book) to see what her Great Great grandchildren are up to.

I was recently in a department store waiting to be served when a young man joined the queue. When the assistant was free she turned to him - I pointed out to her that I might be over 50, but I am not F...ing invisible. Not lady like, but it was not the first time it had happened that day.

Good for you Pennysue. We should cast ladylike-ness to the four winds and start demanding to be taken notice of.

I remember that play HildaW, it was brilliant. The colour schemes I wear ensure no one is going to ignore me!!

I think there is a little truth that older people are invisible. My own mum pointed out to me that this was how she often felt, but she has noticed it more at social ocasions such as weddings and parties. The last one we all went to I particularly looked out for her and she was right people sort of talked around her unless she addressed them directly.

At well over 50 I don't seem to have a problem in shops at all - of course my son has always refused to be seen with me when I'm out, so perhaps I'm a bit too noticeable

Deedaa

I walked into a restaurant with GD1 today and it was clear from the start that I was the invisible one. 'Table for two?' said the waiter looking straight at miss glamour-puss! I wasn't so invisible when it came to paying the bill though.

Exactly Anno!

Don't put up with it! Make a fuss! You will soon stop feeling embarrassed and feel empowered.
I have been at a slight disadvantage recently in social gatherings because of my hearing loss but I will be getting my hearing aid on 18th March, and then I will be quite loud again!

I'm sure we all turned heads in our younger days! I didn't think I still did until a chap crashed his trolley in the supermarket yesterday whilst looking at me (at least thats what my dear husband told me had caused his collision with a pillar - or he's just being nice as I'm a week on from a hysterectomy with slight anxieties about my 'femaleness'!). Truthfully though, I think we need a bio-scientist to do the research here - I think it's due to the pheromone issue. Could be wearing a pheromone perfume might help us?

After finishing Uni my son worked in an electrical retail shop for a short time. Not being an outgoing sort of person but quite astute he noticed the top salesman always rushed over to help the younger female customers, usually ignoring the older women. My son made a point of making sure the older customers were his priority. From his first day he outshone all the sales staff and he said it was because the older customers had more money to spend than the younger women.

As Bags says this has been discussed before. I submitted a thread about women becoming gradually invisible once their 40s arrive and that by the time they reach their 60s are invisible to everyone.

On the other hand, when you are being ignored by some service staff, you can get someone like Faye's son and it is much appreciated. . Yesterday (long queues at the checkouts) I reluctantly went to use the self-service checkout and a woman assistant leapt forward and put my things through for me and packed them. So she dealt with 'unexpected item in the bagging area' and 'call supervisor' and all the other technical hitches with the damned machine. She even put my card in the machine for me! I don't usually use the self-service checkouts because of the glitches and because people will lose their jobs if they become universal.

dorset I've only been on GN for a year and I've seen the same topics come up over and over again as new people join and others don't read previous threads. Or sometimes, even, the whole thread they're posting on. Or even the page. Or even the previous three or four posts.

There have been thousands of threads since GN started. I joined at the beginning and have probably only read 10% of them. I started this thread after seeing a documentary on the subject last Wednesday. It has obviously engendered a certain amount of interest amongst both old and new members so what is the problem about repeating something which people want to comment on? I have better things to do than trawl through 22 months worth of threads in case I upset someone who has already introduced the subject before!!

I find I am approached more when I have my man with me and it happens less when I am on my own. Its pure ignorance on their part not to engage with everyone. The pound in my pocket is worth the same as everyone elses.

I don't think dorset's remark was a criticism, just a remark, as was mine. Both of us also added something to this thread as well as remarking that this had come up before. Tell you what, I'll get another remark in while I'm at it: this topic will crop up again on another thread.

Lilygran I would have been furious if someone did that to me! Or was she doing it for everyone in the queue?

Everyone with grey/white/no hair and/or wrinkles. I took it as it was intended.

I haven't encounterd the above. Perhaps we're lucky enough to live in a community where people matter.

Likewise, soop. Mind you, judging by 12yo DD's behaviour when I'm with her somewhere 'public', expecially if she's likely to meet any of her pals, it seems I'm far too non-invisible .

That's normal/natural, Bags.

They've just installed those dam machines in my waitrose.
1 if you're on a scooter you can't reach the bags
2 if you have a waitrose card you have to use specific machines, it doesn't tell you that
3 if you have a token, you have to call the supervisor. Where's the call button?
4 having found the call button I can't reach it.

I'm sticking to ocado in future!