Invisible Women

I live in a town with a high proportion of retirees. Local shop assistants are brilliant as shops seem to be well staffed and the service is geared to older folks. In the nearby city I think things are different simply because there are not enough staff.
(I see you're also an insomniac Gally - hope you're well.)

I'd want there to be a larger sample than three to be convinced of anything. I can't say I've ever felt invisible, though I can fade into the background when I want to, but that's a skill I've deliberately learned. I think a lot depends on 'bearing'.

We've discussed this before. I agree with Bags, I think you have to almost 'make' them notice you and not let yourself be invisible.

I think it's instinctive for young people to seek out other young people, in order to mate and produce more young people.
Human nature really.

Ella46 It may be instinctive for young people to seek out other young people – although I am a little concerned about mating in the middle of Selfridges – but surely all those centuries of "civilization" should have had some effect by now.

I agree about bearing and appearing friendly. None of that helps if the staff don't exist or are busy mating.

Do you think the urge to mate could be the reason why whenever I approach a member of staff in B & Q, he/she runs like fury towards the back of the shop where there is a heavy-duty plastic curtain to hide behind?

kitty, absent, ella

GA. Not insomniac - just in Australia

Primal urge!!
absent I'm sure it wouldn't be the first time it's happened somewhere in Selfridges!

Abercrombie & Fitch are good for those with mating urges.

I get more annoyed when they haven't a clue about what they're selling.
We were having breakfast in Pret a Manger the other day in London and I asked clueless assistant if they had any breakfast cereal. After some thought she replied in the negative.
It was only after I had consumed a calorie-laden almond croissant which didn't fill me up, necessitating the further purchase of a banana, that I noticed some cartons of warm creamy porridge

But, jane, everyone knows cereal comes dry and you have to pour milk on it!

I'm always ignored when shopping in places like Currys and PC World.

They assume that cos I'm old I know nothing so I am left to browse in peace. Little do they know, I'm probably more au fait with technology than some youngsters

As I do the majority of my purchasing online it doesn't really bother me.

Being ignored does have it's advantages, I like being invisible.

I know Bags - silly me [humbled emoticon]

I am not sure that it is the norm for a shop assistant to descriminate in that way, the colour of your money is the same be you young or old.

I have noticed that when I'm on my scooter I become totally invisible. Shop assistants ignore me! People step in front of me! The only time this alters is when I put my fairy lights on the scooter!

Galen I've noticed, this last couple of weeks when I've had to use a crutch, that people seem to try to walk as close to me as possible almost as if they want to trip me!

This is one of the reasons we moved to Herefordshire......after the grim anonimity of Oxford and its environs where you have to be either young and trendy or super smart to be even acknowledged, sweet little old fashioned Leominster is a delight. Hereford is also very welcoming as is Shrewsbury. Ludlow feels it wants to be a bit smarter but is still a joy after Cornmarket Street!!

Jadey

" I am not sure that it is the norm for a shop assistant to descriminate in that way, the colour of your money is the same be you young or old"

No one is saying that it is the norm, just that it does happen. I don't think that it is an act of "discrimination" either, it just does happen, for reasons unknown.

I didn't see the documentary referred to in the OP, but feel it would have been quite interesting to have recorded the footage then played it back to the staff involved and ask for their comments.

No, I never feel invisible. I think it has a lot to do with your bearing - I know I appear very confident - and I am! Any shop assistant who tried to ignore me when I wanted attention would get short shrift.

Last week DH and I had an appointment at Nationwide. Smoke alarm was going off in our home in Cumbria so he had to drive to Cumbria, I rang and cancelled our appointment for that day and rearranged for yesterday. DH and I arrived at Nationwide 15 minutes before appointment and informed receptionist of our arrival, sat and waited. After half an hour someone came to tell us that we did not have an appointment and the man we were to see was in with his 2pm appointment, "Excuse me ? we are his 2 pm appointment," " no you are not and he will be busy for an hour " This is the point where I should have told him to place his appointments where the sun don't shine instead I was polite and left. Nationwide have a facility on their website to make a complaint so that is what we did and it went to head office. Treat us as second class citizens again Nationwide, if you dare.

I can't say I've felt invisible lately. However, this thread did take me back to the '70s when I was in my 20s. There were a few occasions back then when I noticed female staff in pubs wouldn't jump to serve other females if there were men also waiting to be served. Particularly remember a place I used to frequent when I was working up in St James's Square in London. A couple of friends and I would go to a certain pub at lunch time and it was if we were invisible, with one particular bar maid, she just made a bee line for the men and often ignored the women who were waiting to be served it was really noticeable. I think we voted with our feet and stopped going there after a while.

I have started to make a stand about this. Whenever I am shopping with my daughter and the shop assistant starts talking to her when I am obviously the customer, I politely remind them that I am the one with plastic, and I have no traces of senility, so if they could possibly speak to me............

Smile when you do it. If you can.

Can always remember a 'Play for Today' type thing on telly years ago......about a 50 something woman who was sick of being invisible........forget the actress who played her but she was built on generous lines. Her storyline was something like 'I'm 15 stone and invisible' so she became a life model at a local college much to her family's disgust. This led to all sort of interesting developments but most importantly her family began to take her a lot more seriously and not take her for granted.