Invisible Women

I usually get asked "Is everything alright there dear?" because I stand looking at things so long. (I just like looking)

It can be liberating.

I don't lack any confidence! Or assertion!

Sometimes I hum to myself when I go round shops these days. I think to myself "Well, nobody notices anyway!"

Is being invisible the same as being stared and ogled at? I thought it was more about being actively ignored and being treated as if of no account.

I think a lot of it is about how we carry ourselves and what we expect. If we expect to be seen and act and look the part, we will, generally, be seen, but I think many women, particularly older women, lack the confidence and assertion to insist that they are seen.

Yes, I do feel a bit like that now, nightowl. I think I was probably rather too self-conscious when I was younger, and didn't like being stared at or ogled - now there's no chance of that it's strangely liberating!

Am I alone in quite liking this invisibility cloak? Glad to not care how I look, what anyone thinks of me, just to be an observer of the hormone fuelled mating game going on around me? I like to look on and smile

I recently said to my friend "I could walk through our local town wearing my nightie and I guarantee, no-one would notice". Oh for the days when we were young and attractive, and you could feel the admiring glances!

Not noticed being invisible yet, even though I hit 70 this year.

One of my aunts, 5 foot at her tallest, but much shrunk in old age and with a sweet face, looked very 'ah bless you'. However she had been the Senior Nursing tutor in a big hospital in London and the look that could freeze an errant nurse or cut a doctor down to size came in very useful as she got older. She was ignored or patronised at the assistant's peril.

They've just installed those dam machines in my waitrose.
1 if you're on a scooter you can't reach the bags
2 if you have a waitrose card you have to use specific machines, it doesn't tell you that
3 if you have a token, you have to call the supervisor. Where's the call button?
4 having found the call button I can't reach it.

I'm sticking to ocado in future!

That's normal/natural, Bags.

Likewise, soop. Mind you, judging by 12yo DD's behaviour when I'm with her somewhere 'public', expecially if she's likely to meet any of her pals, it seems I'm far too non-invisible .

I haven't encounterd the above. Perhaps we're lucky enough to live in a community where people matter.

Everyone with grey/white/no hair and/or wrinkles. I took it as it was intended.

Lilygran I would have been furious if someone did that to me! Or was she doing it for everyone in the queue?

I don't think dorset's remark was a criticism, just a remark, as was mine. Both of us also added something to this thread as well as remarking that this had come up before. Tell you what, I'll get another remark in while I'm at it: this topic will crop up again on another thread.

I find I am approached more when I have my man with me and it happens less when I am on my own. Its pure ignorance on their part not to engage with everyone. The pound in my pocket is worth the same as everyone elses.

There have been thousands of threads since GN started. I joined at the beginning and have probably only read 10% of them. I started this thread after seeing a documentary on the subject last Wednesday. It has obviously engendered a certain amount of interest amongst both old and new members so what is the problem about repeating something which people want to comment on? I have better things to do than trawl through 22 months worth of threads in case I upset someone who has already introduced the subject before!!

dorset I've only been on GN for a year and I've seen the same topics come up over and over again as new people join and others don't read previous threads. Or sometimes, even, the whole thread they're posting on. Or even the page. Or even the previous three or four posts.

On the other hand, when you are being ignored by some service staff, you can get someone like Faye's son and it is much appreciated. . Yesterday (long queues at the checkouts) I reluctantly went to use the self-service checkout and a woman assistant leapt forward and put my things through for me and packed them. So she dealt with 'unexpected item in the bagging area' and 'call supervisor' and all the other technical hitches with the damned machine. She even put my card in the machine for me! I don't usually use the self-service checkouts because of the glitches and because people will lose their jobs if they become universal.

As Bags says this has been discussed before. I submitted a thread about women becoming gradually invisible once their 40s arrive and that by the time they reach their 60s are invisible to everyone.

After finishing Uni my son worked in an electrical retail shop for a short time. Not being an outgoing sort of person but quite astute he noticed the top salesman always rushed over to help the younger female customers, usually ignoring the older women. My son made a point of making sure the older customers were his priority. From his first day he outshone all the sales staff and he said it was because the older customers had more money to spend than the younger women.

I'm sure we all turned heads in our younger days! I didn't think I still did until a chap crashed his trolley in the supermarket yesterday whilst looking at me (at least thats what my dear husband told me had caused his collision with a pillar - or he's just being nice as I'm a week on from a hysterectomy with slight anxieties about my 'femaleness'!). Truthfully though, I think we need a bio-scientist to do the research here - I think it's due to the pheromone issue. Could be wearing a pheromone perfume might help us?

Don't put up with it! Make a fuss! You will soon stop feeling embarrassed and feel empowered.
I have been at a slight disadvantage recently in social gatherings because of my hearing loss but I will be getting my hearing aid on 18th March, and then I will be quite loud again!

Exactly Anno!