Invisible Women

I walked into a restaurant with GD1 today and it was clear from the start that I was the invisible one. 'Table for two?' said the waiter looking straight at miss glamour-puss! I wasn't so invisible when it came to paying the bill though.

Deedaa

At well over 50 I don't seem to have a problem in shops at all - of course my son has always refused to be seen with me when I'm out, so perhaps I'm a bit too noticeable

I think there is a little truth that older people are invisible. My own mum pointed out to me that this was how she often felt, but she has noticed it more at social ocasions such as weddings and parties. The last one we all went to I particularly looked out for her and she was right people sort of talked around her unless she addressed them directly.

I remember that play HildaW, it was brilliant. The colour schemes I wear ensure no one is going to ignore me!!

Good for you Pennysue. We should cast ladylike-ness to the four winds and start demanding to be taken notice of.

I hate it when people speak to me when it is my Mother who is buying/or enquiring.

Prime example today, she is considering selling her house and I had to keep reminding the estate agent Mum is selling the house not me. They also asked for my email address - advised them to ask Mum for her email address as she has a computer and uses it (even face book) to see what her Great Great grandchildren are up to.

I was recently in a department store waiting to be served when a young man joined the queue. When the assistant was free she turned to him - I pointed out to her that I might be over 50, but I am not F...ing invisible. Not lady like, but it was not the first time it had happened that day.

Then people would just avoid us altogether, or call security!

Years ago, I knew someone who wrote 'I'm up here' with a vertical-pointing arrow on her belly before she went to her next ante-natal appointment. She said she was fed up with people carrying on discussions and asking questions across her torso and never looking at her face. Perhaps we could write something on our foreheads? Carry a balloon? Dye our hair an unnatural colour? Wear something really striking?

Can always remember a 'Play for Today' type thing on telly years ago......about a 50 something woman who was sick of being invisible........forget the actress who played her but she was built on generous lines. Her storyline was something like 'I'm 15 stone and invisible' so she became a life model at a local college much to her family's disgust. This led to all sort of interesting developments but most importantly her family began to take her a lot more seriously and not take her for granted.

I have started to make a stand about this. Whenever I am shopping with my daughter and the shop assistant starts talking to her when I am obviously the customer, I politely remind them that I am the one with plastic, and I have no traces of senility, so if they could possibly speak to me............

Smile when you do it. If you can.

I can't say I've felt invisible lately. However, this thread did take me back to the '70s when I was in my 20s. There were a few occasions back then when I noticed female staff in pubs wouldn't jump to serve other females if there were men also waiting to be served. Particularly remember a place I used to frequent when I was working up in St James's Square in London. A couple of friends and I would go to a certain pub at lunch time and it was if we were invisible, with one particular bar maid, she just made a bee line for the men and often ignored the women who were waiting to be served it was really noticeable. I think we voted with our feet and stopped going there after a while.

Last week DH and I had an appointment at Nationwide. Smoke alarm was going off in our home in Cumbria so he had to drive to Cumbria, I rang and cancelled our appointment for that day and rearranged for yesterday. DH and I arrived at Nationwide 15 minutes before appointment and informed receptionist of our arrival, sat and waited. After half an hour someone came to tell us that we did not have an appointment and the man we were to see was in with his 2pm appointment, "Excuse me ? we are his 2 pm appointment," " no you are not and he will be busy for an hour " This is the point where I should have told him to place his appointments where the sun don't shine instead I was polite and left. Nationwide have a facility on their website to make a complaint so that is what we did and it went to head office. Treat us as second class citizens again Nationwide, if you dare.

No, I never feel invisible. I think it has a lot to do with your bearing - I know I appear very confident - and I am! Any shop assistant who tried to ignore me when I wanted attention would get short shrift.

Jadey

" I am not sure that it is the norm for a shop assistant to descriminate in that way, the colour of your money is the same be you young or old"

No one is saying that it is the norm, just that it does happen. I don't think that it is an act of "discrimination" either, it just does happen, for reasons unknown.

I didn't see the documentary referred to in the OP, but feel it would have been quite interesting to have recorded the footage then played it back to the staff involved and ask for their comments.

This is one of the reasons we moved to Herefordshire......after the grim anonimity of Oxford and its environs where you have to be either young and trendy or super smart to be even acknowledged, sweet little old fashioned Leominster is a delight. Hereford is also very welcoming as is Shrewsbury. Ludlow feels it wants to be a bit smarter but is still a joy after Cornmarket Street!!

Galen I've noticed, this last couple of weeks when I've had to use a crutch, that people seem to try to walk as close to me as possible almost as if they want to trip me!

I have noticed that when I'm on my scooter I become totally invisible. Shop assistants ignore me! People step in front of me! The only time this alters is when I put my fairy lights on the scooter!

I am not sure that it is the norm for a shop assistant to descriminate in that way, the colour of your money is the same be you young or old.

I know Bags - silly me [humbled emoticon]

I'm always ignored when shopping in places like Currys and PC World.

They assume that cos I'm old I know nothing so I am left to browse in peace. Little do they know, I'm probably more au fait with technology than some youngsters

As I do the majority of my purchasing online it doesn't really bother me.

Being ignored does have it's advantages, I like being invisible.

But, jane, everyone knows cereal comes dry and you have to pour milk on it!

I get more annoyed when they haven't a clue about what they're selling.
We were having breakfast in Pret a Manger the other day in London and I asked clueless assistant if they had any breakfast cereal. After some thought she replied in the negative.
It was only after I had consumed a calorie-laden almond croissant which didn't fill me up, necessitating the further purchase of a banana, that I noticed some cartons of warm creamy porridge

Abercrombie & Fitch are good for those with mating urges.

Primal urge!!
absent I'm sure it wouldn't be the first time it's happened somewhere in Selfridges!