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Lucy Meadows

(101 Posts)
Bags Fri 22-Mar-13 06:28:26

Good article here about how we can improve our thinking about gender change

j08 Fri 22-Mar-13 10:30:28

Secondary school kids could take in and compute an explanation.

j08 Fri 22-Mar-13 10:29:40

No! And I wouldn't mind at all my grandchildren being taught by a transgender person, or any kind of sexually oriented teacher. But it would be the sudden (to the children probably seemingly overnight!) change from a man to a woman that is the point here. Primary school children.

whenim64 Fri 22-Mar-13 10:22:33

I, too, look at it from the child's perspective, Jingle. My own grandchildren would have no concerns about a range of gender expression, and I have no concerns about them being taught by, or socialising with, any responsible adult who has undergone gender reassignment, and is brave enough to put up with their intrusive questions grin

Bags Fri 22-Mar-13 10:20:52

The children would see that probably more clearly than anyone else.

Bags Fri 22-Mar-13 10:20:06

But my argument, jings, is that there's nothing to "handle". The issue has been made into a problem. Essentially, it's no different from someone changing their name. The person doesn't change.

j08 Fri 22-Mar-13 10:19:57

I feel things should be presented to children at an age appropriate time. I can't say any more than that really.

annodomini Fri 22-Mar-13 10:19:39

I feel sure that the children were the first concern both to Lucy and to the school concerned. She presumably disclosed her intentions to the head and probably the Chair of Governors. The head wrote to the parents who would have prepared the children for the change.

Bags Fri 22-Mar-13 10:17:31

But if children do "come to terms with it" (and why shouldn't they since it does them no harm?), it saves them the bother of having to "come to terms with it" later on when narrow-mindedness is more likely to have set in to a greater or lesser degree, and "coming to terms with it" might be harder, as it clearly is for some people or that article would never have been written.

j08 Fri 22-Mar-13 10:16:27

I'm not disagreeing with anything you say when. I'm just looking at it from the children's point of view. I think the local authority could have handled it better. It's a very sad thing when anyone takes their own life.

whenim64 Fri 22-Mar-13 10:11:41

From the Equality and Human Rights Ommssion (EHRC) website:

'.... in their Home Office funded study, (they) estimate the number of trans people in the UK to be between 300,000 - 500,000, defined as ‘..a large reservoir of transgender people who experience some degree of gender variance’ (Reed et al 2009)'

More commonplace than we think. The majority of people with gender dysphoria do not have surgery, and dress in their chosen gender privately, or in their leisure time.

j08 Fri 22-Mar-13 09:57:00

It's very important to keep children open minded, and understanding of people different to themselves. But their age has to be taken into consideration.

j08 Fri 22-Mar-13 09:55:44

I can recommend the book by David Walliams called "The Boy in a Dress". It is about a twelve year old boy, and it starts to explore this subject for that age group.

j08 Fri 22-Mar-13 09:52:11

As it's hardly a commonplace thing in most people's lives, I don't think it is necessary to expect young children to come to terms with it when it can be avoided. As in this case.

whenim64 Fri 22-Mar-13 09:51:06

I worked with a woman who had transitioned and she introduced me to some of her transgender friends and acquaintances, and started a work-based forum so that her colleagues could ask questions and get access to information. She got separated from her young children when she started to live as a woman, and her angry wife became hostile to any approaches to have contact. She contemplated suicide on a few occasions. She is reunited with her family now, and is a loving grandmother. Her children are upset that they were stopped from seeing her for a few years, and say that was much worse than seeing their dad in a dress, which they were used to.

Bags Fri 22-Mar-13 09:45:11

It's important to help kids distinguish between things they imagine to be fearsome and things which actually are fearsome. There is nothing for children to be afraid of with regard to someone changing their gender, even if it's one of their parents. It might take a while to get used to, like much else in life. Big deal.

j08 Fri 22-Mar-13 09:20:26

Yes. About that age. There was a very good and informative in a women's magazine. And since then I have also gained some insight into the workings of children's minds.

Bags Fri 22-Mar-13 09:16:11

Sixteen? So you've had time to get used to the idea that it's not harmful to anyone else, jings. So why the invented problems for the children?

whenim64 Fri 22-Mar-13 09:13:24

Exactly, Bags. Children are naturally curious but not inclined to make negative judgements unless adults model such behaviour to them.

j08 Fri 22-Mar-13 09:12:54

I first read about, and understood the whys and wherefore of how a person can be born on the cusp of being a man or a woman, when I was about sixteen, if I remember rightly. It was a time such things were first being recognised and given credence.

Bags Fri 22-Mar-13 09:11:16

Since when, in fact, did someone changing their gender damage anyone else?

Bags Fri 22-Mar-13 09:09:59

Since when did not understanding things as adults understand them damage a child?

absent Fri 22-Mar-13 09:09:48

No – although clearly people have different degrees and types of understanding judging by that spiteful Richard Littlejohn article – children just accept things as a general rule. Mr Upton had decided to become a woman and is now Miss Meadows would soon have ceased to be of any interest to children who have lots of other more important things to occupy their attention.

Bags Fri 22-Mar-13 09:09:32

Since when did being confused about something adults do damage a child?

j08 Fri 22-Mar-13 09:08:40

I have total sympathy with transgenders.

j08 Fri 22-Mar-13 09:05:54

They are children of primary school age.. they have the minds of primary school children. They cannot understand things in the way we can.