How long is your nose?

Galen I am so sorry you have been traumatised in this thoughtless way, go and have a little and look at the cruise brochures.

I suspect I'm going to need counselling if I hope to recover!

Have another until you do

At this time of the morning? Really!!!!

Actually it's coffee!

Glass - Thanks for posting that quote.

OK, have a choccy biccie with it Galen. Sugar is good for shock isn't it?

MOVE dont encourage people to fall off the wagon, shame on you

butty it sums it up for me.

I've had a richly fruited hot cross bun with butter!
(But don't tell Glass!)
I still believe in the tooth fairy, so there!

galen too late I am right here behind you!!!!

glass sorry Miss, what is my punishment? grovels deeply................

Ooh er, haven't weighed this week, double punishment now.................

It's my reward for losing weight

I was shocked to find that 7 year old GD believes in the Easter bunny, he won't be around next year though because I am going to put him in a pie.

harrigran You have outed yourself – you are Mrs McGregor and I claim my £5.

I always think liars must have really good memories.

I remember a guy who worked with us. Really clever engineer but terrible fibber. Not malicious nasty lies just silly stories that we all knew not to be true. Perhaps he led a boring life and needed to spice it up? Anyway his most famous "fib" (and we all still laugh about it) started when the guys were all sitting at the bait table........

Dave : "Have any of you guys ever saved anyone's life?"

Guys : "No, not me, no way" etc..... "why? have you?"

Dave : "Yeah well I saved someone from drowning once and it is a good feeling I can tell you"

Guys : (Thinking here we go) "wow Dave that's amazing, where did it happen?"

Dave : Well you know I was walking along the cliff top minding my own business when I hear screaming coming from the sea, I looked down and there was a man clearly in trouble. At first I wasn't sure what to do but then I thought the poor man could drown so I jumped in and dragged him back to the shore"

Guys: "Bloody hell Dave how on earth could you jump right from the cliff top into the sea without hurting yourself?"

Dave : (Realising he has kind of dug a hole here) "well I was the junior diving champion when I lived in Malta" (????? eh?) (Malta was a wild card that we hadn't seen coming)

Guys : "Jeez Dave it's a hell of a way back to the shore dragging someone with you though and the water is bloody deep"

Dave: "Yeah but so much easier when you are wearing flippers!"

Guys : "oh didn't realise you were walking along the cliff top wearing flippers mate"

Dave : " Don't be daft, I wasn't walking along the cliff top wearing the flippers, I put them on as I was jumping in"

Guys: "Bloody hell Dave you jumped from the cliffs into the sea and put flippers on whilst jumping? I think you deserve a bloody medal"

Little guy who works on the lathe : "Aaaah Dave you didn't say you were walking along the cliffs carrying flippers"

Dave was forever known as Dave Bond !!!!!!

Point well made Gilly. Be sure your sins will find you out. Imo a good liar must have a good memory and be very devious and a bad liar will lose a lot of friends. Far too complicated for little me.

gillybob I agree re memory, the tangled web quote springs to mind ...

I do tell fibs though sort of by omission, there are certain things in my job that I can do in two ticks (e.g. bashing out a report) and other people seem to think that it's a mammoth task, and I let them think that ...

gillybob
grannyknot thats not lying thats self preservation.

gillybob puts me in mind of Matilda by Hillaire Belloc

Grannyknot

O what a tangled wed we weave
When first we practise to deceive,
But when we've practised for a while,
How vastly we improve our style.

For most people, it's hard work to lie and it often isn't very convincing. It makes me feel uncomfortable and I would rather not lie. But I'm sure there are occasions when it is justified, as well as others when it probably isn't.

If I was out shopping with someone and they asked my opinion of an item of clothing, which I thought was unflattering, I would say something like "I don't think that style/colour/length, etc., etc. really does you justice." However, if someone was just about to go out in the new dress they'd bought and asked my opinion, I would probably say it looked fine because I wouldn't want to spoil their evening.

Things get more difficult with serious matters. If, for instance, you know a friend's partner is having an affair, should you, if asked, confirm your friend's fears? Or, even if your friend just voices concerns about his/her relationship and asks for your opinion, should you lie by omission? Of course, one might feel it better to be completely above board but I'm not sure it's always the best thing to do. It would depend on the circumstances.

I generally think it's better not to lie to children, even to protect them. A neighbour's much-loved dog died two Christmases ago and she told her grandchildren that he'd gone to help Father Christmas deliver presents. When Easter came, she said he'd gone to help sort out all the Easter eggs - and so it continues. I don't know if these children have caught on yet but it seems unwise to shield children from real life in this way and may make them distrustful in future.

Re Father Christmas - I was very upset to find out it was my Dad who had delivered my presents. I and three other innocents/fools had argued vehemently with the rest of the class that of course there was a Father Christmas, so, apart from anything else, I felt really stupid.

Another thing my grandma always said was (if she thought you were fibbing)

"You tell more lies than Tom Pepper".

I always wondered who this Tom Pepper was??

I know someone who is a habitual liar. She probably can't help it now and may even believe her own lies. She is the mother of my first granddaughter and both her children have given up believing her. It's sad, because, having spent much of the last 20 years inventing ailments, now she really is quite ill.