Creepy men

Some men just don't understand the difference between flirting and being creepy.

I imagine he was like Rick from the Young Ones when he was younger....just as creepy when talking to girls.

janeA It might happen in Tesco's but not Waitrose or M&S food.

The annoying thing is Envious that they think we appreciate such 'compliments'!

Yes, Yorkshire is in England so you're part English

You could try something like "If you've been to charm school, you should ask for a refund"

I like it Phoenix, will try to remember that one!

Surely it's harmless enough (if not necessarily welcome)? You could just give poor old chap a smile and make his day or alternatively the death "Mum" stare which would shut him up? As for car salesmen,the one who asked if "Sir would like to look under the bonnet while Madam chooses the upholstery" just got treated to the sight of our backs as we left!

I think it is harmful - it can be quite scary to know that some repulsive dirty-minded man is looking at you lecherously and making creepy remarks about sticky leaflets. What if she had been on her own? Would he have squeezed past her to demonstrate the lack of space, and suggested testing the bed together, and then stood in that same narrow passagway, between her and the door? Caravans are indeed quite cramped, and she could have been trapped in there with him.

I'd have given him more than a "Mum" stare, he'd have got a piece of my mind, and I would have reported him to the manager.

I don't quite know how to handle a man at choir - I suppose the problem is that I have to see him every week. He sits a couple of rows behind me and keeps on seeking me out to tell me what beautiful hair I have, but in quite a creepy way. If he had done it just the once I would have been pleased, but now it's getting annoying. My hair is thick, longish and curly, so I have even started to wear it up just to shut him up rather then because I want to. It has started to make me look on the hijab more favourably, which is ridiculous because he is the problem, not me. Perhaps I should buy him some blinkers.

Maybe some men just can't tell the line between compliments/flattery and creepiness.

All these hideously unattractive creepy men have such feeble chat up lines. I was waiting to collect my husband's medication in the pharmacy when a funny little chap came wandering over and said "Someone smells nice". Oh please!

I am surprised that her husband didn't tell him where to go - mine would have! Mind you, I would have told him myself.
When I rejected totally unsuitable men who were trying to chat me up, I was often told I must be frigid or a lesbian!
I was shocked after I separated from my husband to find that many of his 'friends', or the husbands of my friends, thought I must be going short of sex and they could supply my 'need'. I didn't tell my husband or their wives - no point as it would only have caused trouble and probably would not have changed their nasty attitude.

Just when you think you are safe from this sort of attention, something like this happens. On my way to work a few weeks ago I was flashed by an old man opposite me. When this happened when I was young I used to point and yell at the flasher. I was so amazed that at my age I'd still be eligible for a flash I just got off the bus. I was both upset and cross with myself for not at least reporting him to the driver.

The best thing to do with flashers is point and laugh! But they should also be reported to the police, as it their behaviour could get worse.

Janerowena - Laugh at him. Not nastily, but be a bit condescending. "Oh my! You are getting quite obsessed with my hair! Better get a wig, so that you can have some like it of your own"

If it happens again, say something a bit stronger, in a more put-down voice. He should get the message that you do not like it. If he doesn't, then speak to someone with authority (choirmaster?) and pile it on a bit, saying you are beginning to feel embarassed and might leave.

When travelling to work on the London Underground many years ago I regularly encountered a chap who "played" with himself through the slits in his raincoat pockets. Like the other people in the carriage, I studiously ignored this activity. Then one morning a woman who I thought of as an "old lady" but who was probably only in her fifties sat opposite him. She looked slightly taken aback as he began his usual routine of fiddling about with his parts, then as he progressed she leaned forward to make sure that her eyes didn't deceive her. Next she stood up, brandishing her umbrella and, belabouring him about the head with it, admonished "Dirty! Dirty! Dirty!". The carriage cheered and we never saw him again.

Greatnan Flashers/indecent exposers have often talked about being humiliated as children, by being laughed at or talked about in embarrassing terms as a precurser to their indecent behaviour in public. If they expose themselves, they are looking for any reaction that will reinforce the power of their behaviour to affect others. Laughing at them could momentarily help the unsuspecting person who has unfortunately crossed their path feel more confident. Some indecent exposers, however, can become angry at further humilation and react aggressively. They are not all pathetic men in raincoats who would run a mile if you said 'boo.' Those who are timid will run off, but it's difficult to determine which they are.

Ignoring them and getting to a safe place to phone or summon help is best. A picture taken on a mobile can help apprehend them.

One indecent exposer who I worked with made the mistake of doing it in front of a female professional who had other offenders in her company. They witnessed the incident and sat on him till the police came and he was returned to prison. He was in deep shock, but it didn't stop him from doing it again when he was released. Indecent exposure is one of the most difficult sex offences to extinguish, requiring many sessions of therapy and sometimes anti-libidinal medication.

Thanks,when, I appreciate your professional knowledge.
When I was about 14 I used the bus to get to school, about an hour's journey. I got on at the terminus, so I had a window seat every day. A man in the proverbial mac used to sit beside a girl every day and move his hand up and down our thighs under his coat. I had had enough one day, and even though there were no seats, I stood up, forcing him to stand and let me out. The conductress (we used to have such things in the 1950's) asked me if I was all right, and I just said very loudly that I preferred to stand. I don't think he did it again.

My daughters were flashed when they were on the swings in the park, just about a hundred yards from our house. They were 11 and 9. They ran home, laughing, and told me what had happened. I rang the police and a WPC came to interview them. When she asked them to describe him, one said 'We weren't looking at his face". He was caught an hour later when he was peeping at a woman through her kitchen window, about a mile away. I wonder what happened to him? It didn't seem to traumatise the girls but of course we discussed what his problem might be. I had always been very open with them about sex so perhaps it came as less of a shock to them.

I am fond of the colour red and a man once came up to me and said that red was a sexually aggresive colour - I slowly looked him up and down and said " I think you are safe" and walked away.

Yes, Elegran, I think laughing at him is the best way to handle it. I shall tell him he is jealous and ask loudly if we should all club together to buy him a wig.

I was flashed at by a milkman, who kerbcrawled me on the way to school every day. It took me a while to realise what he was showing me, I hadn't a clue. I took a different route after a couple of weeks, once I had figured it out, I suppose I was lucky I could do so. Why I never told my parents I have no idea. I think I thought they would think it was my fault. I'm one of four girls and we all had improper advances made to us in varying degrees of seriousness including rape, but it was rarely talked about and always hushed up. The milkman was only the first of many unpleasant experiences. It's so strange, I have no desire whatsoever to stare at a man's chest/groin/bum/legs when I talk to him, I want to study his face and eyes.

Great way to handle things with your girls Greatnan. It can be doubly shocking when adults react in a way that sensationalises some incidents that haven't necessarily upset the children, though they understand the behaviour is wrong.

My late brother-in-law was well-known for his sexual 'conquests' and was a very confident man. Everyone seemed to be in awe of him for some reason. However, it didn't take him long to realise that I wasn't at all impressed by him. One day at a family gathering, he remarked to me very loudly, "I thought women were supposed to have ti.s!" I retorted, "I thought men were supposed to have ba..s, but obviously you must be the exception!" The room exploded with laughter and I walked away. (I'm not blessed with large ti.s, by the way, but I was so proud of myself that day!

Well he lost a good sale EnviousA

Flowerofthewest,yeah...glad I wasn't buying.

Hi. Enviousamerican. If you're lucky enough to be part Yorkshire ,that's really all that matters!!

Yea! Glad to here it!

Yay! Marelli

I never wanted large tits (my mother used to say 'two fried eggs'

On the subject of the creepiness of some men, when I was about eight I was walking along the road with a couple of friends when a middle aged man rode slowly past on his bike and said to us 'would you like to play with my balls?'

I can't remember feeling all that bothered at the time but even now, 62 years later, I have a clear image of him on his bike.