Is it a mistake to go back?

It depends - I will be going back to a very small hotel in the Red Sea resort of Nuweiba for the third time in June, because I know I can snorkel from the beach onto pristine coral.

We once had a wonderful holiday at Castle Sween in Kintyre, but when we went back the next year the caravan park had grown enormously and the peace we had enjoyed so much had gone.

When I go back to Salford, where I grew up, it is as horrible as ever, so that is not a disappointment, but I take my sister for a drive back to the little village of Tottington, near Bury, where we were evacuated, and that is as lovely as ever, with grey stone houses. It has hardly changed at all in 67 years.

You can't step into the same river twice.

I recently did a home exchange so I could revisit my old haunts in the Pyrenees, including seeing my old home. I was surprised at how much smaller the garden was than I remembered, but the countryside was just as stunning as ever.

Eloe your thread made both feel sad and laugh at the same time, laugh because of the urinate thing.

I think as children we probably don't notice the crumbling window seals etc but as Adults we have a different eye.

At least you have that happy memory Elo I would just be happy with that

Whe I was a child we visited my cousins abroad every year, they were so kind and welcoming to us, I haven't been back there for a very long time and was contemplating visiting them and I wonder if going back now after all these years of not seeing them and not really having any contact with them, will they still be the same old lovely extended welcoming Family that they were back then

No. It's never the same 2nd time round and will always disappoint in my experience. We had a wonderful holiday with all our family 6 months before john died. Lovely memories and none of us want to return to that house or even that part of France again in case the memories fade. I too returned to see the first house I lived in as a small child: it all appeared to have shrunk and I didn't have any inclination to return again. After 35 years I met up with some old school friends. It was lovely for an afternoon, but apart from school there was nothing in common, so never again.........

Of course, Gally, you could visit a different area of France - hint, hint!

I'm hearing you loud and clear Greatnan

Gally you are soo right about it being nice to speak to old school friends but then do not really have anything in common, its such an empty feeling because it does not make sense that you have not got too much to say and as said nothing in common

I think it is nice to go back to somewhere you have visited recently but not if you have happy memories of a long time ago. We went back to a function where we had lived 10 years previously and found everyone exactly the same. The trouble was that we had changed with moving away and various life changes so we felt we no longer had so much in common with them.

I met up with some old school friends some years ago and really had nothing in common with them.

From children we grow into what we are thru our experiences of life and when that life is completely different to our contemporaries this makes a different to how we think.

I think it depends on how long it is since you last visited.

When my dearly loved maternal grandmother die when I was 14, I could not bear to go down her road and see her house occupied by other people, even though my family lived only a few streets away. I did not go down that road for over 20 years, and when I did I was delighted to find that the road and the house were little changed, even though the area had. Over the years I did occasionally visit the area, particularly later when my daughter lived only a mile or so away so I was aware of the many changes that came to the area, but in my mind whenever I think of my time living there as a child and my grandparents I still see the area as it was 60 years ago.

I also spent part of my childhood in the Far East, Hong Kong, Singapore, Kuala Lumpur, and have not been back since I left school. These places have changed beyond recognition and I do not want to go back. In this case, the past really is another country.

On the whole, I don't like going back anywhere, but once I drove slowly past the house (just pre-WWII vintage) where I was born and grew up. I was delighted to see how well it was maintained and how it had retained the original curved windows. I don't want to go back to my granny's house in Fife because I can see, from across the Tay, that the croquet green has been built on and the massive copper beech felled.

There was a good cartoon, probably in Private Eye, where an old miner was looking at some fields and saying to his grandson 'I remember when this was all industrial'.

If you haven't seen friends or been back for too many years to somewhere you loved there is often a good reason for it and it can be so disappointing to find that out. Life moves on and so do we.

Oddly enough, although I haven't 'gone back' physically, I have recently renewed a friendship with my teenage pen friend in the US who tracked my down on the net. We have turned out to have a great deal in common, including opinions and education. We email each other weekly and it feels very comfortable.

I would love to go back to Italy where DH and I met in 1972. I am hoping to go next year (ruby wedding)
I won't be disappointed if it's changed because I don't really remember much about the town or landscape.
I must have been blinded by love

As a child I went to Lands End and my father took my picture standing under the sign post.

We went back 4 years ago with my daughter and grandson and was horrified to discover Lands End had turned into a theme park for Dr Who. The sign post was even surrounded by a fence and you had to pay to have your photo taken. Horrid! Won't be going back there again

When I left school, where I was not particularly happy, I swore that nothing in my whole life would get me back even to the town it was situated in let alone anywhere near it.

20 years later I bought a house opposite it and my daughter attended it for a couple of years.

janthea We were appalled when we went back to Lands End too. How on earth did they get away with that? It was so tacky.

I can't ever go to St Davids again. When I was there I spoke to a lady who was now the age I am now, and she said to me how she had been there with her young children. I can remember thinking to myself that one day I would be her; it was like a moment frozen in time. If I stood on that spot now I would cry. Where does the time go?