Jay Griffiths Q&A on childhood/child wellbeing

'The work of childhood is play'. End of....

How far should you push individualism? Surely there's a fine line between letting your child discover themselves and them running riot. Do you not think that too much emphasis is on 'finding yourself' as a child? I think most children like to be told what to do. It's easy to follow instructions. Too much freedom and choice causes confusion and stress for the child.

Totally agree,Copycat. My DGS loved me to give him sums before he went to school. He is 6 now and loves Maths.
My DGD (4) is always asking me what words say. I think some children love to learn.

DIL has started Kumon maths with DGS and he is 3 years and four months. He seems really excited to do it - even asks for more maths after they've completed the task. I think he just values the attention and sense of achievement.

What's your opinion on starting extra-curricular activities at this age - or any age? He obviously doesn't see it as learning, it's all a game to him. Surely if the child is happy it doesn't matter that he's not climbing trees (to use Cheese's example!)?

Do you think Western culture puts too much pressure on children to be individual, creative and strive to be extroverted? What about the children who simply don't want to climb trees and happy to sit there reading a book? I think creating ideals just means those who don't fit in, feel like they're not good enough.

I guess it is al about balance. I think children do need some structured play but also time to play with or without playmates in an unstructured way so that they can develop their own individuality and express their imagination. If children don't get time for this because of their over full timetable which can sometimes be parents trying to keep up with other parents, then I think they could become irritable tired and unenthusiastic about anything. They will have plenty of pressure all too soon. Why inflict it on them in their short childhood? I tried to maintain a balance with my own children so that they had some activites that they enjoyed which were structured and time for themselves to do as they pleased whether it be playing with the dog, pet rabbit, cars, transformers or making a den in the garden etc. They also went out to play behind our house as we are lucky enough to have open heathland behind us and they weren't too far away from me there.

Jay, What effect on children do you think the technological aspects of life i.e. iPads computers mobile phones will a have on children's lives and how do you see them affecting their development, if at all?

Sorry reading your intro.. I don't think you can compare West Papua and the Arctic to contemporary Britain - or any other country that isn't Western. What works for one country, won't necessarily work for ours.

Jay - how would you define childhood? Personally, I think children should be preparing for adulthood. I'm not against play, of course children should play, but the slow pace of life 'back in the day' and also displayed in the countries you mention, does not resonate with UK culture and society.

Elisabeth Truss has recently announced that when she recently visited nurseries children were running around without any purpose. Do you think little children of nursery school age should be in classrooms that provide adult structured learning activities or should little children be allowed to choose how to use their own time? What approach do you think prepares children best for managing their lives in the future?

Jay Do you feel that the 1 million+ children who are denied contact with their grandparents are thus denied opportunities for creative and imaginative play.l believe UK is low in the list of child well-being in this area.

I do think that we are risk-averse these days, but we also understand the notion of childhood and don't subject our children to hard manual work, or make them leave school at an early age. We immunise, keep them warm and nourish them, take them on holidays, give them a better standard of living, and have learned about their developmental needs - all much improved on the fifties.

We have a nostalgic view of the fifties, when there was little traffic and lots of mums were at home and present to keep an eye on things. I remember chapped skin and chilblains, freezing cold rooms, being seen but not heard, and having to trudge round wet, windy roads when my mum took us grocery shopping - not much liberation there, it seemed to take hours. Being bored did engender creativity, but stimulation can bring out a child's creativity, too. It's a question of balance.

Yes,we played out, and went on the occasional adventure, but we had boundaries - my mum would say 'don't go where you can't hear me calling you.'

Jay are you saying all children are over-scheduled? Is it inner-city children? What level of childhood activity do you think they miss out on most?

How can we allow children freedom to play outside when we worry all the time about their safety? I have recently been to a presentation about the life of children in the fifties. I was one of those children and it was a really nostalgic session. We went out all day and only went home when hungry or when all the friends had gone back home.
There was no parental interference in our play and the creativity of us was allowed to develop naturally.