Banter Bar.

What small-holding? Sarah lived in me kitchen

Do you have any cows on your small-holding Goose ?

Port??.. You sure you know what happened last time.........

Pete....PIN? (Pigs In Need) indeed. £10? Huh! that's a trotter's worth. I'm starvin', aint eaten since that cow pie in the Farmer's Arms yesterday, so I'll have a bacon batty and a pint of Port....

Back bacon......my favourite

£10? Fine by me Pete but I'm not the pig's mother, just a brave soul fighting for justice for Goose I doubt she'll settle for that. Last I saw of her, she was off down to her lawyers.

I'll leave you and Laidback to polish off the evidence

all

Hello laidback ......Nice refreshing pint...for a valued passer-by......bacon is out the back ..help yourself...

Evening Pete, pint of your finest and ah ......kosher bacon butty does that even exist?

RIGHT.....I'll donate £10 to 'Pigs in Need'....happy Sel 'n Goose..

His frayed look is carefully contrived - he's rolling in it. Pig rustling really pays

Hmm...that's probably where Lil's holed up!

Hmmmm. Not so sure Ana I heard Pete has a nice little villa in the Bahamas - no extradition treaty. He's been misleading you

PETE

Pete probably only made a huge proft in IOU's, to be fair...

Poor Sarah. Poor, poor Sarah. Surely not Pork Scratchings Goose? It seems a little heartless

I don't like the sound of rancid fat...although when I look in the mirror

Who is responsible for the cleaning in this joint??

Thank you Sel. Poor Sarah, she were doing nowt wrong, just snouting investigating the rancid fat in the oven. 'Im in there, call's 'imself an animal lover....Huh! Another packet of Pork Scratchings..it's my night out.

Time to move on Pete? I don't think Goose is just going to lie down and accept that. She's mightily upset. Rightly so. Bet you made a huge profit. A charitable donations might be in order.

The evidence has been disposed of!

No Sel ...she has been eaten......time to move on......

Did you see 'A Private Function' Pete. This situation is beginning to have a familiar ring to it

Ah, a confidence trick - another animal substituted for a pig. Maybe Sarah is alive and well after all

*finished cutting.....

Back to the firemen Ana?

I'm going to have to Google that now - pig in a poke that is

Calm down Goose......I'll explain when I've cutting this bacon for the freezer......and don't think that Sherry is on the house......

What's that saying about a pig in a poke? I've never understood it, but it could come in handy as a defence/prosecution in a Court of Law...