Banter Bar.

Go for it Goose - I'll be a witness although I didn't see a thing

Sel, thank you for your understanding. PETE!!! get from stooping under that bar and explain yourself. Murdering a pig is a criminal offence - I'm a member of SOPPY, so I know all about you...I'll see you in court!

Goose this is appalling - I knew there were goings on in here but I'd no idea Pete would stoop so low. Abducting and then murdering your pig. He'll do anything for profit. I bet he calls himself an animal lover. Harrumph.

SCUSE ME! I'll ave yer know, Sarah was PUSHED - she must've been snouting around the oven for bad apples and smelled the pong of burned apple sauce from them rotten apple pies last year

How about a nice 'Pork Pie'.....

Pint coming up Goose....you sure about the scratchings?

With a lot of difficulty Ana

Cannibals! Are you calling us pigs, Goose?
What I want to know is, how did Sarah get in the oven in the first place...

I am in mourning. You load of bloody cannibals. I can't even take my pig out for a stroll without one of you lot turning her into sausages. A pint of Sherry and a packet of pork scratchings please Pete.....

All's fair in lust love and war, Ella!

Ana, it's the way you elbowed all the other slappers fans out of the way!

Sarah again I'm afraid Goose .....Toto wouldn't make a decent size burger...

No! Not Sarah sarnies? I haven't seen Toto around lately either - what's in the hot dogs?

It's like an episode of 'Sex in the city' in here today......

You do know you're eating Goose's sow!!!

Anyway I'll have a butty....please......and could you stick a sausage on it as well... (Brown sauce).

Elbows? Well, those firemen were certainly singing my praises last night, but I don't recall my elbows being singled out...

Tomato sauce on my bacon butty, please!

Same with the bacon butties I hope!

Sel Do not underestimate Ana, she's very good with her elbows!

#plentytogoaroundanyway

Well thank you Ella but somehow I think Ana is not understanding the sharing concept here. Two for me, one for you, two for me etc

glamma oooh, bacon butties with brown sauce, now you're talking.

As long as there are enough to go round!

Sel I'm so sorry, I had no idea that you were interested in the fire service
Personally, (and I think I can speak for Ana too) certainly after last night! I love a man or two in uniform, Ana likes them out of it

We'll let you know next time there's a get-together

Goose not guilty on the burnt stew I don't use pork for anything except big fat doorstep bacon butties and brown sauce,I wonder if Pete has got in another cook at a lower "hourly rate" he's like that you know

I've been up all night looking for Sarah - she escaped on Monday night. Mmm, something smells good in here, for a change. What's that in the festering stew-pot on the bar? looks like burned stew? PORK burned stew???

Hmmm - I may refer that remark to my chauffeur Pete

Expectations ? You've not even been on the back seat yet Sel