Don't really feel like going on holiday.....

Like you Mishap oI am always a wreck before a holiday with a churning tummy and a really negative outlook. I often think it's because my DH knows exactly what he wants and I have a struggle getting the luxury bit appended to our hols. My rule is a holiday has to be better than home. I don't enjoy driving our car on the wrong side of the road as it Generally takes two to drive. But the roads really are empty in France unless its August and if you look up the weather for your week and it's fine what's wrong with a pile of books and some good food? And Galen I've been told that it's 22degrees in Murmansk which I think is further north than you are going. Sit on deck with a wool rug tucked round you and they should bring you a warming cup of beef tea as you watch the Northern lights . It's on my bucket list.

I don't think I'd enjoy a holiday when I had the thought of a long drive home at the end of it. I realised long ago that a long, tiring journey home at the end of a holiday undoes all the good that the break has achieved, but then I'm not a very good traveller. And I always lose the first day or so of any holiday by being tired when I arrive.

We used to try and get home from Champagne region in one trip but it is at least 5 hours travelling in UK after crossing the channel. Since retiring we usually opt for a tea time crossing and stay in Kent overnight and start the long drive refreshed the next day.

Oh Mishap what a dreadful situation to be in, I totally sympathise with the feeling of not looking forward to a holiday albeit for very different reasons to yourself.

I have lost count of how many holidays we have booked, paid for and not taken over the years, due to ill health (my own, my husbands or another member of my family who were not coming with us) and on a couple of occasions last minute business problems that we were unable to leave behind us.

The stress of actually going on holiday usually far outweighs the benefits of the holiday for me and it is often better to simply stay at home.

For you the "holiday" does not seem to be the relaxing get away that a holiday should be, but exactly the same stress as you have at home but without the support system that home allows. I do hope that you come to the right decision for you and your husband whether it is to go or not go and I wish you well.

What a dilemma you have, Mishap. I hope it works out for you and you get chance to relax.

Mishap there is little more to add, but sending you (((hugs))) as you make your decision.

Many thanks to all for kind words. Subject is still under discussion. I am not sure what to do for the best. I do appreciate the support that is always forthcoming from all you wonderful GNetters.

When is the Iceland trip Galen? - it did occur to me that I am on Aurora Watch and they send through when possible sightings might be in UK and they sent one recently - maybe you will see the Northern Lights - how truly winderful that would be!

That is the one bright spot. But I'm going on Saturday, Iceland the week after. It's the white nights so I doubt I'll see them.
I'm on aurora watch as well.

Actually I'm sure ill enjoy the break. I'm feeling 'burnt out' at the moment and starting together ratty!

Mishap have just caught up with this thread. I totally sympathise with you. You have had so much to deal with in the last few months it seems silly to pile on the pressure unnecessarily. Would it be a huge financial cost to cancel? What you need is someone to make the decision for you. Maybe your doctor would say you and DH are not fit to do all that travelling? Sending you hugs. You have dealt with so much lately and you deserve someone to "take over" for a while. When things are rough it is good to have friends around. Don't do what you don't want to do.

Galen I am jealous. I love Scandanavian crime books and am just working my way through some Icelandic ones (translated of course). Would love to go to Iceland one day. Enjoy your break.

I'm always very ambivalent about holidays and often really wish I didn't have to go. Usually at least end up enjoying getting away, now and again spent the whole time longing for home time.

I wonder what you will do Mishap

Galen I went to Reikavik a few years ago. Loved it but it was cold. Went out one night to see aurora but it wasn't coming out to play!

I always get a bit down before going away - I just love being at home. Holidays never live up to the anticipation anyway. Then there's the packing before and the unpacking and laundry afterwards - and I miss the dog and the cat ....and my garden, my hobbies and my friends. So I avoid it as much as possible - coming to see my family in England is my treat and I put up with all the above for the pleasure of being with them.

It takes me ages to unpack my suitcase when I get home; I tend to just take clothes out of the suitcase as and when I need them .

i don't do the packing to go away or on my return. I pay Kate to do it.
Packing and unpacking on board I find very stressful. The unpacking gets done over a few hours and the free bottle of fizz.
Once I'm unpacked. I'm fine!
Can then relax and I have been known to pay my steward to help me PAC for the return.!
Not lazy, it's just very painful to keep going back and forth and bend over.

I understand your situation completely Mishap Two years ago we spent a week staying with friends in Italy. Knowing that it might be the last time we would be able to go we were quite keen, but it was very stressful. My husband really wasn't well enough, I was worried, our friends were worried and the whole thing was a real endurance test.
Last week he decided he wanted me to go over there on my own as a birthday treat, but I've talked him out of it. For about 24 hours it sounded wonderful but the stress of trying to organise the children to keep an eye on him and sorting out his medication (in the vain hope that he might take it if left on his own!) just turns the whole thing into a nightmare. I will be much happier if I can just sit in the garden knowing that help is just a phone call away.
If you decide to cancel you won't be mad at all, it just depends what's going to work best for you.

Just found your thread. You don't say how keen your OH is to go - will he be relieved if you say no? Also, how far into France? Is the south of the Loire to be sure of warmth and sun rule still apply? Can you shorten the break to a week?

Sitting in the sun with a good absorbing book could be just what you need before facing the mental strain of sorting your father's house. You deserve a complete break, but a nice spa hotel, say near Bath or the south coast could be just a nice - especially if the sun condescends to shine.

Aka Our son is a very happy person, I think as he has grown older he has just decided that rather than argue - which is difficult if you can't talk, and has been known to get really difficult in some such situations - he goes with the flow, and then does his own thing. I have an awful feeling he gets that from me! Like me also he is at home with his own company, but enjoys being sociable. I am not mad on holidays either, the nicest part being when I arrive home and walk through my own front door.

It's very reassuring to find others who do not look forward to or enjoy holidays. I always find myself on countdown when away -"x sleeps till we go home".

The problem is that DH is Mr Activity - always wanting to be doing something physical like route marches (only he calls it going for a walk) or moving on to see what else there is. He can't just sit and "be" in the moment and watch the world go by. I, on the other hand, am quite happy with a gentle stroll or a boat trip or people watching. So neither of us end up doing what we really want to do. We always end up arguing on holiday!

Since our move last summer to the beautiful area where we now live, I have managed to avoid any talk of holidays. My wanderlust has gone for good and I have even suggested that we each do solo whatever takes our fancy re breaks but he just wants to be with me (he says). Which is very endearing but also puts a burden on me not to curtail what he wants to do.

Galen hope you have a Wonderful time, it's not too cold and you see Northern Lights.
Have you got thermals,down coat and fur hat ready for packing.Yes I know you don't wear hats!
I find holidays more and more difficult to prepare for.Guess I really am getting old.Nothing planned this year so far.

NfkDumpling - my OH does want to go - we are going to Morbihan region in S Brittany. He likes the area and indeed wnated us to live there - that is a nother story entirely - bit of a family crisis arose because I put my foot down and said that I would not be happy there and we both had to be keen for it to work. The children did not want us to go either. As it happens we did make the right decision to stay as shortly after he was diagnosed with PD and the support of family and friends here in UK has been invaluable.

The problems lie in the fact that he always has a rosy view of how a holiday will be - he forgets the anxiety and stress caused by his travel and other worries and how hard I find this to deal with; when we get to a destination he will not go out, except for a short walk and I always feel that we have travelled so far, we might as well take a look around; this year I will be very tied to the gite because I cannot walk very far without pain; he hates going out to eat, so I cook the whole time. The basic problem is that our every move is hedged round with his anxieties and these are worse when we are away. You have no idea what a fret he is in about getting stopped and fined by the police!!! - this has been a litany for about a week or so now. Sigh.

I have told him our ferry time over and over again, but he has just asked me again - he thought we were going on a different day!!

I understand and sympathise with his difficulties, but it is quite stressful - I usually deal with it all by having family and friends around to help give life some balance.

I am sure we will go - I feel there is no alternative; and who knows it may turn out better than expected. I hope so. But the thought of spending Thursday driving down to the port with him wincing and fretting in the passenger seat just pulls me down - I had a mega-migraine last night - I wonder why!?

Thanks for all kind words. I cannot burden my DDs with all this as they have their lives to lead. Having said that they are not daft and they know their Dad very well and make tactful sympathetic noises now and again - which are hard to respond to as I need to remain loyal.

Perhaps the sun will shine and that will make up for it all!

Gagagran like you I'm married to a man who 'relaxes' by doing something strenuous. We've booked (for the second year running) a beach activities holiday, which gives him the option of cycling, hiking and taking part in a range of watersports - and leaves me free to have a stroll, a swim or read on the beach etc. Last year was marvellous; we met every day at breakfast, lunch and dinner for a chat and enjoyed a couple of organised day trips together, but otherwise did our own thing.

Sounds like you have made up your mind Mishap. I hope that, having thought about how bad it all will be, you will find that it is actually at least a little bit better than anticipated.

I have to say that I am sure I'm not the only one who loves holiday.

I understand your reservations about your forthcoming holiday.

With your husband suffering anxiety and not wanting to explore the countryside, and no wifi, it sounds like endurance rather than pleasure.

Is there a possibility you could take the car and explore some of the area on your own, leaving your husband enjoying the garden? You could also buy a dongle in order to access the internet whilst away.

I think I would take a couple of good books and hopefully take time to relax and enjoy the sunshine.

Best wishes

Have looked at an extended weather forecast for that area and you are going to have plenty of sunshine and pleasant temperatures.

I like the sound of that weather forecast!!! - fingers crossed.

How does this dongle thing work libra10 - do we jiust attach it to the laptop? I am not a great techy, in spite of using computers endlessly at work for design purposes.