Oddballs

Odd behaviour can be a problem. When I was about 11 a local man used to follow me about. He never approached me, spoke to me or touched me but just followed me whenever I went out on my own - to school, to play with friends, to the local shops, to post a letter. He would also sit on a wall opposite our house and write down car numbers, then when the page was full, tear it up. I found him a bit frightening. He stopped after my father spoke to him - perfectly politely I think. Later, when I saw the film Midnight Cowboy, Dustin Hoffman reminded me of the way this man looked.

Well done helping that little girl Frank. There was a case locally a couple of years ago when a 2-year old girl managed to open the gate of her Day Nursery and wandered off unnoticed. A man saw her wandering down the road and did nothing because he was frightened of approaching her for the reasons mentioned above. She then wandered into a back garden and drowned in their pond

Going back to oddballs I do know of a man who people did not trust as he had been widowed 3 times by the age of 40. Oddly all of his wives died of cancer.
I am sure these deaths would have been carefully checked. Cancer is not something you can fake.

Frank

I was driving to my local rail station once at about 7am and there was a little girl out in her nightdress.
I went to speak to her but all I got out of her was her mother's name was Mummy and her father's name was Daddy.
It was just at the time mobile phones came in and I had only got one the week before and I had input the number of my local police station in it.
I phoned the police and they did say keep her safe even if I had to use slight force as we were next to a busy road.
About 5 minutes later a police car turned up with 2 police men in it.
They did say would have liked a police woman to attend to this as it was a girl but there was not one available. They also said it would have been ok to make a 999 call. Obviously the child was safe with me but a lot of police officers could have been out looking for her so it was an emergency from that point of view.
Obviously as I had phoned the police I would have not been arrested for anything like child abduction.
What they had thought may have happened was the girl probably opened the door and let herself out and the parents were probably still in bed.
I heard no more about the incident so I assume all ended well.

Frank

He sounds lovely, anno We had an uncle who never had a relationship and lived with his widowed sister when we were chidren. He would go wild when we saw him, wanting to give us ice-creams, sweets and toys, build sandcastles with enormous moats and flags on them, and treat us to shows when we met up with them at Blackpool. He would be given instructions to tone it down before we arrived, as we would get over-excited by his enthusiasm. He would have loved to have his own children, but just never got the opportunity.

Strangely enough he was good with dogs too - he could make them do anything, even our unruly alsatian.

My lovely uncle was wonderful with children too. He would have loved to have had some of his own, but he and my aunt married quite late and it was not to be. He used to perform conjuring tricks when we were little and I was always surprised when he pulled a penny out from behind my ear. My kids were convinced that he had one leg heavier than the other! And when he and my aunt were getting on a bit, neighbours' children used to come to the door and ask if he was coming out to play! Indeed there was a big kid in him. I don't think anyone would have had suspicions about him as he was sociable with everyone - treated all alike, a wonderful man and I still miss him.

I agree with you, Flickety. It's lovely to see children chatting with elderly people and for people to assume there is something sinister going on is sad. The default position should always be that there is nothing other than genuine interest in each other, for the vast majority of our population.

My late uncle loved small children. He was married but childless and loved small children for their innocence and unclouded views. When ever he was out and met parents out with under 5s he always loved to stop and talk to the children. He never touched them, and children like that are always with an adult anyway.

I tried to explain to him why people sometimes shied away when he chatted, but he found it difficult to understand that anyone would want to hurt a small child. He loved my children and they adored him and I never worried about leave him alone with them.

Nowadays anyone like my uncle would immediately be suspected of paedophiliac inclinations, the feeling that a man who behaved like that couldnt really have an entirely innocent pleasure in the company of small children. I find this very sad.

I was quite defensive of someone in my village that a few people had reservations about because they put themselves so much in the public eye [ran a local shop/active church members etc]. When they did flee the village and previous convictions became public knowledge I realised that those people were correct . And yes, they did behave in an odd way but were so open about it I didn't believe the talk. People I knew that worked in the social services etc were the first ones to become wary.

I believe there is a crime of wasting police time Frank. Indeed being odd is not a crime and many of us may well be considered odd in certain contexts. One way I am odd is that I don't mind picking up worms and other creepy crawlies because I find them interesting and not repulsive. Even cockroaches and spiders, (within limits). I would probably have been accused of witchcraft in earlier centuries.

Being an odd person is not a criminal offence.
Probably if these types of allegations are made about somebody they should be investigated by the police and if it is found the allegations have no grounds a report of findings should be issued by the police and it should be then an offence for that person to mention that subject again.
If it is then proved that person continues to make the allegations then they should be fined about £1,000.00 and if a second offence happens then the fine should be £20,000.00

Frank

I heard Rich Hall talkng about gun culture in the USA, saying that the twisted logic of having a gun in the house for your personal defence is dangerous because the criminals you want to fend off are only trying to break into your house to steal your gun!

Everyone has their own theories of personality and motivation. You hear it all the time e.g. "everyone is motivated by money". "Nobody likes change".
Some of these theories are supported by research and data, some are not and some are just plain wrong eg. the popular US gun lobby argument "having a gun in my house makes me safer"
In the realm of child abuse I believe that when has very up-to-date knowledge and experience.

I wasn't thinking about paedophilia, Elegran, although it would apply there, too. I can't fathom how being accused of hurting a child would drive someone to do it, according to Frank.

I suspect Frank's image of harming children is more in the "losing their temper and hitting them" sphere than in the paedophilia sphere.

Frank your logic on motivation to do harm to children is so off the wall, it defies all understanding.

I think Frank's last comment is an example of the slippery slope argument (which doesn't hold water logically, nor, I hope, legally) about which some of us are holding a discussion here (in the latest part of the thread).

Untrue allegations can be hurtful and damaging but are hardly likely to provoke somone to 'live out the prophesy'. People who 'damage or even kill a child' have far greater motivation of evil intent which is seldom dependent on what others think or say about them.

mollie

More serious if people keep on making untrue allegations about people at some point they may break and may go and say damage or even kill a child and where as it would be him to blame I think the people who drove him to do it would be equally if not more at fault.

Frank

GALEN, SHYSAL , CSL

Frank, as you are yourself a victim of people making false assumptions over your right to your Dad's house, I am pleased that you stood up for this vulnerable sounding individual.

Well done Frank for challenging the assumption. We need to do this every time a vague generalisation is made. Such things can cause hurt ...

Galen Shy and Retiring?

Galen