Just received this and was moved so decided to share with you all

How can anyone be expected to feel empathy for a complete stranger except on the most superficial level? Sometimes, it's hard enough to try to understand, let alone share the feelings of someone one knows well.

I know I'm stereotyping when I say that this type of message is very American. But having an American friend and colleague who posts and quotes this sort of stuff on an hourly basis, and having seen her American friends and family on Facebook replying in enthusiastic kind, I have to think it is. It's very un-British, as we tend to be a cynical lot, especially us older ones, for which I'm extremely thankful.

I can't see the inspirational message as a problem though - it's easy to delete or ignore and seems to be of comfort and, well, inspiration to some, so where's the harm?

But I still wish I'd had a video camera about my person the day my pal suggested in a staff meeting that we start every day with a group hug in the staffroom....

Backtracking - yes, Moved It is very easy to just delete the name of the person who forwarded a sweetiepie inspirational circular to you. Would you like to drop in on my dear friend and show her how? I have given up on teaching her anything new to do with her laptop. It does what she wants - emails sent and received and forwarded (the forwarding thanks to my lesson) and links clicked on. Nothing new and difficult is her response to more advanced techniques.

That is her approach to the internet, and who am I to argue? We are all individuals.

Well, well, well. What a furore over something which someone posted with the best of intentions and several people, initially enjoyed.
Very revelling insight into some people's psyche.

I don't have a problem with the OP message. It's just not my thing to express myself in such a way. When I receive these types of chain-mail posts, I just delete them and pass by. Job done. Easy.

They're often sent with kindness at heart. There are worse things.

The pm was clearly unjustified, as I have explained. Still no apology!

I agree with you Bags, I just think its a bit of a shame there has been so much focus on that, which we all agree on, rather than the person who sent it to me who is suffering.

I too had a very unpleasant PM from someone to whom I had sent a kindly and helpful PM but, as has already been said, it is easy to sort out the different types of people on GN. I know the person who sent me the PM (which of course I will not quote as I understand what the P means) is not prone to apologising so I am not expecting an apology.

Greatnan I do hope that if you had an unjustified message and explained to that person why it was unjustified that they will apologise. I would if it were me.

I got a nasty pm recently too. It said 'everybody' except me had responded to the thread about Mishap's and Galen's holidays (what, all 15,000 members?)! It went on to make some very nasty personal remarks about me. As both Mishap and Galen are friends of mine, I had actually sent them pms or exchanged messages on Facebook. I am still waiting for an apology.

It's still better not to forward chain mails, moved. The main reason other than those given by elegran is the emotional pressure they exert on people.

I'm sure it's allright to forward stuff to some friends just for enjoyment and with no pressure on them to forward it further, but chain mails are really something to avoid delete.

Elegran but it is so easy to just delete the email address of the person who forwarded it to you. That is what we all do.

moved BCCing would not make any difference, as messages which have been forwarded show the previous "owners" at the top of the forwarded bit. BCCing only hides the other people that a message has been sent to on the current leg of its journey.

I think empathy and consideration are often best expressed tacitly in how people and their opinions are responded to in normal communications. It is an art to frame a one-off message of sympathy or condolence or an "inspirational" aphorism without sounding trite or patronising, particularly when you have never met the person concerned.

Bags I do so agree, it is very easy to tell which Gns are empathic and which are not.

I got one of these once implying that each of us had a Guardian Angel who would always look after us etc. I think my guardian angel went out for a newspaper about 1955 and forgot her/his way back.

And that it's easy for other people to tell.

I dislike it when people say they are empathic. I think that really empathic people never mention it but just are.

I would hope that everyone can be empathic and not be reduced to nastiness. It's tempting, I know, to come out with words we are not usually known for using, but I hope we are all more mature than that. I'll say no more on here now. Peace!

anno I am not suggesting that you should. I am simply suggesting that empathy for the person who wrote it would be kinder.

A lot of us have probably gone through more than you can imaging, moved, but we would prefer not to have our emotions reduced to the level of cheap cliché-ridden claptrap.

Yes when Of course I can but I can't understand why, if someone knows how that person feels, they cannot show any empathy. I have no trouble showing empathy to people who express things in a different way to me. In fact I did so recently to someone who has been very unpleasant to me but just got a nasty response. It doesn't matter how many times that happens to me I shall still show understanding if I think it is appropriate.

bluebell my point exactly! We don't know what others have suffered so imo it is better to be kind to/about them than to be nasty/cutting.

Elegran could you show your friend how to bcc to everyone? I don't think it is acceptable to forward on other people's email addresses and never do it. None of my friends do either.

Moved I'm puzzled that you shoud think only certain oeople must have suffered in order to appeciate the statements in your OP. I don't think we should compete to declare what we might have gone through in order to counter your assertion. Could you just accept that some people really have had troublesome experiences that have caused suffering, but they aren't over-sentimenal and will be moved in a different way to you?

And I'm getting back to RL now where I'm telling people I love them, that I'm sorry and that I need their help

Moved - your riposte tells me everything I need to know about the cheapness of this type of message - you have absolutely no idea what many of us have suffered and whether or not this means we can understand the sentiments expressed in this psychobabble .

Thought