Just received this and was moved so decided to share with you all

Isn't someone completely lacking in empathy a psychopath? If so, I'm not sure that we have all met someone like that, although I do have suspicions about one person I used to know.

I imagine that there is a kind of continuum between a psychopath and someone who only ever thinks of themselves. At least I hope there is. Are psychopaths born that way or do they become that way? The old nature or nurture question again I suppose

Not a continuum but clusters of traits aka. We can all recognise some traits in ourselves and others, but it's the cumulative amount that are assessed as present by licenced psychs, who use Robert Hare's Psychopathy Checklist - Revised to diagnose psychopathy.

Plenty of psychopaths in positions of power, as well as in prisons and special hospitals. Here's the checklst:

www.minddisorders.com/Flu-Inv/Hare-Psychopathy-Checklist.html

Is empathy defined by being able to know when someone else is suffering and to help them, or by sharing pictures and quotes which demonstrate that quality to others?

I ask because at one point in this thread those of us who admitted that we do not send these pictures, or forward these quotes, were thought to not care about anyone else? A non sequitur.

Doing good by stealth may get you a seat in heaven, but conspicuous exchange of tear-inducing material gets you a reputation for a warm heart - which may or may not be deserved. If you tell everyone often enough that you are empathetic, eventually they believe it, whatever the truth. Vide those millionaires who screw money mercilessly out of their customers and suppliers then splash a small proportion of it on well-publicised charitable works.

I think of someone who thought she was my friend. She used to drop in and tell me all her woes while I made the appropriate noises. Never once did she ask me how I and my family were doing. Not saying she was a psychopath, but I have a feeling that her work colleagues might have an opinion on that. Happily for me, the penny dropped that I didn't like her!

Well said Elegran you have put it very well. Society today seems to set more store by the public gestures and manifestations of grief- the flowers by the roadside, the cuddly toys, the public tears. That is not to say that in many cases these are sincerely felt especially by those closely affected, but their absence does not indicate lack of caring.
Who can see inside another person's mind anyway?

I had a 'friend' like that, anno. I soon shook her off, as she was draining me. Lacking empathy doesn't make one psychopathic on its own, just selfish if you have the capacity for empathy but don't exercise it. Some people are unable to empathise to any degree, perhaps because of autism or other disorders, but not always the case. Some dangerous/sadistic offenders are only too able to put themselves in the shoes of their victims, using feelings and sensations from inflicting cruelty for their own gratification, but they are still diagnosed psychopathic if they meet the criteria on the other characteristics, but score well on empathy.

That's interesting, when.

I know a few people who only talk about themselves! Sometimes I just seem to sit there and listen but then perhaps they have a need which I am able to fulfil? If it does them good to get something off their chest or simply because they don't have any one empathic to talk to then I am happy to be an 'ear'.

There are some on GN who tell a lot about themselves and/or their families and some who tell nothing - different needs.

J08 - where are your trenchant comments when they are needed?

"Empathy is the capacity to recognize emotions that are being experienced by another sentient or fictional being. One may need to have a certain amount of empathy before being able to experience accurate sympathy or compassion."
elegran that's the definition on Wikipedia - there's lots more

Yes, I've seen some of them, Jane

I wasn't asking for a definition - just wondering whether the trend now that people "let it all hang out" might be veering toward "You are not weeping uncotrollably with this person so you don't care."

I missed out the Jane

Sorry Elegran I sort of realised you weren't, but just thought the term had been used rather vaguely in the thread without a very clear definition of what it meant.
Agree with you in deploring the modern trend for requiring visible and obvious signs of compassion.