This has come as a shock.

It was a shock when my wife died at 49 when her mother was still alive.
Her mother became part of our family as she had little contact with relatives on her side of the family.
We did all of the caring but her relatives were wanting her estate after she died saying blood relatives come first.
What they did not accept was my 2 daughters were her granddaughters and they were blood relatives.

Frank

When someone close to my age dies, it does come as a shock to me, however unreasonable that may be.

I know quite a few people who feel the same as me, in that I feel "younger in my head" than I actually am - so just find it hard to accept people even younger than me are dying.

I agree sunseeker. I found out last week that a friend of mine who is 52 has been diagnosed with brain cancer and is dying. She was only diagnosed a few weeks ago and up to then had been fit and healthy. She is (was) attractive, slim, trendy and full of life. I have to admit, it was a shock and a surprise. I have had a lot of close family members (young and old) die, as have most of us, but every time I hear of something like this I am shocked. My sister-in-law died very suddenly at the age of 49.
She had been perfectly healthy as far as we knew. She just dropped to the floor and she was dead. I am very aware of my own mortality but I still find things like this shocking.

When someone dies who has been ill, then it is not a surprise but when someone dies who appeared to be perfectly healthy then that is a surprise or even a shock.

I didn't watch any of the programmes James Gandolfini was in so it hasn't surprised or shocked me, but he was obviously well liked. RIP

I've lost two friends this year, both a couple of years younger than me, in their early 50s and I was very surprised! Maybe it depends on how many people close to you have died, but I doubt it. If a lively dance teacher dies onstage of a heart attack and looked as fit as a fiddle it most definitely is a surprise. I think every death of someone we know reminds us afresh of our own mortality.

Shock is not the same as surprised.

Anyway, it is an emotional reaction, not a rational one.

Why be surprised when people die? Each day is insecure. Life hangs on a fine thread. My father died at 51 and my mother at 62 and my brother at 64. I was then at 58, the oldest surviving member of my family! I never could understand how people felt immortal and behaved as if death was for other people.
Fortunately I had a very empathetic GP who once told me I didn't look as if I would be dead by 64 and that turned out to be true.

Yes it is a shock to me too. Quite a fan of his.

I'm with you about grasping life with both hands while you can. Sadly, in my experience, tragic events like this don't change human behaviour...if you're a procrastinator tomorrow will always seem the better option...