Do you 'like' all your friends?

I can't stand "snobs or braggers" either John Wales. Someone I was very close to recenty re-married into money and quite literally changed her personality overnight. We used to meet up regularly but now I avoid her like the plague and make any excuse not to go out with her as all she talks about is her latest luxury holiday, her latest luxury car, her latest house move (luxury of course), the fact that she gave up work as now she doesn't need to...... blah blah bloody blah.

I suppose it comes down to the fact that no one is perfect! I do like all my friends (not that I have that many!) but some of them do have irritating habits. (Which of course I don't)

friends are hard to come by all my friends are great I cant stand snobs or braggers just a no go area

What annoyed me most is that this friend knows that DP has only had poorly paid temporary jobs or unemployment for the last two years but she almost made me have to spell out my financial situation. I must be good at picking friends because, as I have posted before, when I thought my ex-husband was having an affair I was confiding in my best friend. My "friend" reassured me I had nothing to worry about but I later found out that she was the other woman!

Horrid situation seasider

Tegan I had a really close friend who knew all about me and vice versa [or so I thought]. I then discovered that she was having an affair with a married man and using me as her alibi! Apparently, I was having 'problems' and went away a lot so she came to look after my children [or so she said]. I missed the friend I thought I had for a long time

Galen; that's how I am [and another reason why I'm so worried about retiring]. I love seeing and chatting to people at work but, when I go home I tend to shut the world out. It's very rare that I find someone that I feel totally comfortable with, but the friend I've mentioned above was one of those such people; from the minute we first met [our children finding themselves in the same class at school] she was a complete kindred spirit. Gransnet was/is a complete revelation to me and I've met/spoken to more people on here over the past couple of years whose company I enjoy than [probably] over the rest of my life .

I understand seasider, if you want to keep going, and I can only suggest that either you put away a small amount each week towards the outing, or just grit your teeth and pay up!

It's no fun being a bit skint!

I don't really have a social circle. I'm rather a recluse. I know lots of people, but the only person (apart from you crowd) that I talk to is my next door neighbour. (Her, not the old git!)

Pity you couldn't have jokingly said 'it's ok I don't want a tip' when you dropped her off [but, if you're like me you wouldn't have been able to do it]. It's a horrid situation to be in. I've got a friend that has just retired and she has suggested a few things that we could do together, but I've had to point out that she is on a very good pension and, if I retire I will be watching the pennies [she does understand that]. It's a horrid situation to be in, seasider. This friend of yours sounds incredibly insensitive.

Hi Ella . DP said I should tell her that we will spilt the bill as long as she only has one glass of wine too! ( she likes a drink!) She can be very direct and has upset a couple of the others with her remarks but she can also be very good hearted. One of the other girls was in quite a serious car accident (not her fault and she broke her ribs) and she told her she was part of the "claim culture" because she claimed against the other driver's insurance. Working long hours at the moment and do enjoy a few hours out so don't really want to give it up

seasider She doesn't sound like a 'friend' to me! Maybe you should have a chat with the other girls and let them know how insensitive and hurtful that attitude can be.

I've been there too and I stopped going out if I was watching the pennies, and I knew that the bill would be split.

went out with the "girls" last week and because I was driving I had just one glass of wine. The table had three bottles between the five of us but when the bill came two of my friends said that I should pay less as I had only had one drink. I must admit I was quite relieved as DP has been out of work for a few months so having to watch the pennies. We do usually just split the bill and I do not have a problem with that but we do have one friend who drinks more and tends to order more expensive things ( she and DH have lots of disposable income). After the bill was paid she said very pointedly "next time we come out can we just split the flipping (polite version!) bill!". I did feel embarrassed having to remind her about my current situation and to add insult to injury I was dropping them off so she had no taxi home to pay for!

I saw a friend in passing the other day that I used to see every day; we used to walk our dogs together and never ran out of things to talk about. She'd just come back from a walk with another friend who she still stays in touch with. We did drift apart as I started working longer hours and she had a few family problems, but I felt a pang of sadness when I saw her . [just wanted to say this in a sort of cathartic way; feel better now ].

hi every one I hope you all ok great weather were having hope your all having fun catch you soonby for now se you soon

its nice to have friends you can talk to it would be a sad world with out them in it

I have two very old friends, from schooldays, and they are like my family (I have no siblings). I love to see them but one of them talks about money all the time, and it's beginning to drive me crazy. She is very well off thanks to a husband who has earned a lot, but obsessed with pensions, interest rates, property prices, and whatever we begin talking about somehow she always brings it back to money. I have tried changing the subject, telling her I don't want to talk about money, going quiet, but none of it seems to work. I do love her dearly and would never want to lose her but I do have to take a deep breath before seeing her these days.

Yes it is. I have very few (maybe two) that I would consider real friends. I am lucky that I have 2 lovely sisters and we are very supportive of each other. I know not everyone has this.

I think you rediscover yourself as well. Yes; my new 'social group' consisted of people that I haven't seen for many years now and didn't enquire after my wellbeing when I disappeared off their radar. Funny thing isn't it; friendship.

I agree Tegan. The friend mentioned is in her 60s, lovely and slim and attractive. Still, I hope I wouldn't be like that with friends who become on their own through no fault of their own. I think she was quite shocked at first but she has formed her own circle now. Maybe you find out who your real friends are in these circumstances.

Again I have a friend that apologies when she refers to her [much better than mine] financial situation. I sometimes think I'd feel better if she didn't apologise as it rubs it in a bit more! I've had friends that were widowed and were shocked at how mutual friends tended to drop them [it's the same with divorce but perhaps less easy to understand if it's due to bereavement]; it's as if they're regarded as some sort of a threat. I went to a social do with a friend that was divorced soon after I was divorced and asked her if I was imagining it that people seemed to treat me differently, especially women who looked at me in a distrustful way if I chatted to their husbands [something that I'd always done and still do as I chat away to anyone]. She said, no, I wasn't imagining it .

Tegan yes I can understand that and some of their joint friends totally abandoned her which was awful. It was just the 'no offence' bit that I was a bit perturbed about! We get along well now.

Frank; she rushed into the second marriage and realised it was a mistake. The third one was [and I presume still is] successful She was quite honest with herself in that she wasn't someone that was happy with singledom, whereas I'd always enjoyed my own company [somebody had to ]. KatyK; I think I understand what your friend meant. When your circumstances change your social group does tend to change with it.

I have a friend whose husband died a few years ago. She was just a colleague at the time and I said to her if she ever fancied going for a drink I would be more than happy to go with her. At one of our first outings she said to me that she was grateful for how kind people had been to her since he had died and that she is now socialising with people she wouldn't have dreamt of going out with before and then added 'no offence' ! Lots of offence taken actually. I put it down to what she had been through. I'm sure she didn't mean it like it sounded.

Tegan

Was it her third husband due to divorce o being widowed?.
I know somebody who had lost 3 wives before he was 40.
There may be nothing wrong with him.
They all died of cancer.

Frank

But they didn't stick, did they... I'd rather have one or two decent relationships than lots of insignificant ones