Great Grand Parents

I think with the recent trend for living longer etc, and grown up children relying on their parents to help with childcare, there are probably many people in the situation of helping the generation above and below.

In fact, the friend that popped in unannounced the other day is a good case in point. She looks after her 1year old GD 4 days a week, (mum is a teacher, so my friend does at least get the holidays off) and has elderly parents that she is also partially responsible for.

They are currently having an outbuilding converted into accommodation for the parents, but not everyone is in a position to do this.

I think mentholmont that the problems/challenges faced may bear some relation to location, i.e. town or rural, but I may be wrong. (Often am)

I am having a very difficult time at the moment mentholmont and would welcome a scheme that could offer some help and support. We are quite a small family I have one sister and two cousins (both girls and both younger than myself). My mum is very seriously ill with kidney failure (she has Dialysis 3 times a week) and bone cancer and his having a massive operation next week. My dad doesn't drive and her hospital is about 12 miles away. My grandma is 97 and my mum is her only surviving child. Grandma has been quite poorly this week and I have quite literally running between my mums and my grandmas all last week together with caring for my 3 grandchildren for two days and trying to go to work too. I am at my wits end as I simply don't have enough hours in the day/week and can't be everything to everyone. My gran has a "carer" (ha ha that's a joke and I don't know how they dare call themselves carers) who calls in at about 7.30 in the morning to see grandma is up out of bed. She almost always is and is usually showered and dressed before they even get there. But this week she has been unwell and the "carer" has been ringing me at 7.30 to ask me to go over and she is only able to stay for 10 minutes. I just don't know what to do anymore. Dreading this next week to be honest. Sorry for the rant.

Oh, gillybob, a classic 'club sandwich' situation. (((hugs)))

gillybob (((hugs))) just a thought, in our area dialysis patients have a local charity for renal patients NSKP which offers practical help for dialysis patients and their carers can you ask at your Mums dialysis unit if there is something similar available locally? My DH had/has other serious problems connected to renal failure and they have been very helpful at times. Also the BKPA (British Kidney Association) may be able to help to make life a little more bearable.

gillybob Do you get any help from your sister and cousins? You shouldn't be carrying this burden all on your shoulders - although I know from experience that once you start something everyone else is quite happy to sit back and let you get on with it.

I would approach your cousins and ask them to keep an eye on your grandmother, at least whilst your mother is in hospital. Could your sister share some of the driving your father to the hospital? You can't do everything, what would happen if you were taken ill - they would have to step up and take some responsibility.

There is an organisation for 'help for carers' in this area, why don't you ask at your surgery? (When you have a minute!!!!)
gilly I know how hard this is for anyone in this situation.