Have children lost the ability to play imaginitively?

When my two were young they had two friends who had no television at home. The trouble was that if they came to play they just wanted to watch our television. My two just wanted to go out and play.

NO problem with TV in New Zealand - it is so dire that my family hardly ever watch it. They get DVD's from the local rental shop and watch films together.
My 15-year old grandson belongs to a Warhammer club and he and his friend spend hours making and painting the various armies and vehicles.
My older grandsons, now 30 and 29, played equally well with Lego, He-men figures and their train sets. I have never heard any one of the ten complain of being bored, or seen them glued to a screen for hours on end. Most of them are avid readers, especially of Terry Pratchett for the boys and several women writers for the girls. So far, I have not been successful in getting them to read my own favourites - Austen, Trollope, Hardy and Eliot. I live in hope. It worked with one of my daughters, but not the other.

I do think as grandparents we can offer an alternative to home habits!

My DGS1 (5) is really hooked on Lego and because it keeps him occupied his parents tend not to offer a different diet! I do have his mum's and aunt's Lego still but use it as a last resort! When here he enjoys playing with his mum's dolls house, potters in the garden with me, draws and writes, sorts out DHs screws and nails and 'fixes' things. Yesterday he helped me make a peach pudding for lunch. Eventually we get to Lego , which is not the kits he prefers (being 30 years old and pre Star Wars!) but we make all kinds of amazing vehicles.. he has even said I am 'quite good making new stuff, nana' Praise indeed!

DGD, aged 6 is staying next week. We plan to take her swimming, she has inherited the dolphin gene that exists on our side of the family but doesn't have much opportunity to swim at home and is really looking forward to it. We are visiting the NT property where Florence Nightingale lived. She has 'done' her at school and she loves role playing her and reading about her and wants to see where she lived.. We will be cooking together and, hopefully, will visit an open day at a working farm, which, again, she really wants to see.

Everything we plan is something we know she will enjoy or has even asked to do. I doubt whether the television will even be thought of, let alone watched.

A legitimate question - I didn't let her even switch it on j08 but the thing was, I knew, regardless of what we were doing, she actually wanted to be stuck in front of a screen. I'm disappointed to say it's obviously what she's used to at home. My eldest DD works from home mostly so I can see that it's tempting just to let it happen. On a positive note DGD does love school and is outgoing and confident so it's not doing her any apparent harm. I just feel sad though.'

The difficulty about just saying no and switching off is that this is what they are used to. Us having the GC is a huge help to our children and I do not want to create a situation where the GC kick up a fuss about coming here as they know they will not get all the TV etc they want.

You can't keep kids away from technology. It would be just wrong. But you need boundaries timewise.

Sel, why did n' t you turn the tv off? And take any screens away?

Not being argumentative. Genuine question.

Having just spent a week with my 4 DGC (14mths-7+yrs) I can say absolutely that they enjoy a balance of technology, creative arts and imaginative play!
I had to endure enjoy endless theatrical perfomances, admire many works of art, be captured by the sand dune monsters,dig tunnels on the beach, be amazed by shells, dead crabs and pebbles, find just the right bits of Lego, provide food for a 'midnight' feast, support making & decorating cup-cakes etc. I was the one looking forward to the time before tea when TV and technology was on the agenda!

Mishap having just had GC staying, I would echo your thoughts. I found it terribly sad that the five year old GD just wasn't interested in any creative play or indeed having a story or looking at books. The problem, I think, is that entertainment is available via a screen 24/7. I seem to remember there being a very limited amount of childrens' TV when mine were young. Playschool - 15mins around 10am then Sesame Street around 1pm. Now CBeebies is available all day and also available via my laptop all the time Grandma. It's hard to compete. This is only talking of television; that's followed by the exciting games etc. easily accessible by the average 3 year old on a tablet.

I do blame the parents but then again wonder if I, as a working mother, wouldn't have given in to this seductive baby sitter.

Tv's are easily turned off. Just say "mummy said". Works for me.

We have still got the (dusty) made- up versions of DS' s Lego kits on top of a wardrobe. I agree there is not much play value once they are built. And I seem to remember dad did most of the building.

Playmobile is much better IMO.

DD1 uses the TV for calming sessions, or when GS is tired and needs a rest (or when she needs a rest from him). Most of the time the telly is off. If children are losing their ability to play imaginatively, it's our fault. We are the ones who need to change how we 'manage' the children's time.

The kids I know haven't lost their ability to play imaginatively. I'm thinking of Cubs and DD's friends. It's quite hard to get Cubs to come in sometimes because they are having so much fun with their flag capturing or tig or hide and seek games. Likewise when DD had pals round to play.

The difficulty is that the GC come to me and they are already programmed to want TV etc. and I find that I am engaged in a battle/holding operation to try and get them to do something else. The opportunites are here, but they are not interested. When I look at all the toys that are never played with at my DD's house I despair. Things like toy cookers, dolls'houses etc - but they never bother with them. I do my best to engage them with other things but it is a battle.

Also they do not seem to play with friends as we used to. Every day we would be playing at a friend's house or a friend would be round at our's to play. It does not seem to happen now so much. I am sure they atre missing out, but bite my tongue.

But even Lego now comes as kits that make one thing, instead of generic shapes that made anything, as it started off. New kits are being advertised all the time, so that children will want to collect a set.

The best toys can be turned into whatever the imagination demands. When I ran a playgroup, one of the popular toys was a collection of the large bits of polystyrene that are packed round large white goods. they could be piled up to build houses (some bits had convenient holes for windows) or castles. They were free too! and if used as weapons they did not do any damage

Younger grandson is very into technology. More so than his brother. We gave him a Nexus 7 for his birthday, which he is delighted with! His mum will ration his time on it. He still loves his Playmobile. (And always wants more of it )

I don't think the likes of Playmobil and Lego would be so popular if children had lost the ability to play imaginatively with them.

How I wish our local comprehensive school had not insisted the pupils all use Ipads. Not only do the youngsters play games through them but they talk to each other that way as well. After school there is no need to meet up and 'play'.

I think, certainly at a young age, how children play is influenced by how their parents live. If children live in a home with lots of TVs, computers etc with parents that are themselves always watching screens, playing computer games, surfing the net etc then the children will do the same. Put a child in a home where the TV and computer are seen as useful tools for living, like the car, but not much used by the parents who prefer books, music or some other activity and/or enjoy outdoor pursuits, whether it is following a sport or other planned activity or just walking and wildlife then the children will usually acquire similar pleasures. and play.

Most children who spend all their time in front of screens, often alone in their bedrooms, and rarely go out are just reflecting the lifestyles of their parents. The answer, and the blame, lies with the parents.

My local Primary School in North Yorkshire has a Forest School session. I have little idea of what they do except that they often come back muddy and with smiles.

I bought a selection of second-hand toys from charity shops before coming to New Zealand. The dolls' house was, as I expected, a fabulous success. The five- and six-year old spend endless amounts of time rearranging the furniture and making up/acting out stories about the family who lives there. Similarly, the dolls' tea sets* have sparked all sorts of ideas, from serving us in a fish restaurant – although, frankly, I think the plates are far too small for a whole lobster – to having tea with the queen to celebrate the birth of her new great grandson.

* Both dating from the 1950s and both made of china. They are handled with extreme care as they were when they belonged to my sister and me.

NZ freeview television is very limited but we can't be bothered with Sky (quite apart from my feelings about Richard Murdoch). Consequently, it is very rare for any of the children to watch anything on television when they are with us – a minimum of four afternoons a week after school. Occasionally, the one-year-old watches Barney because he loves the songs and joins in the dancing. They don't seem to miss it.

My GS aged six and a half spent a lot of this afternoon cooking me a meal on the toy barbecue I bought him when he was about three. We had to catch the fish first and then have lots of discussion about how long to cook them. Classic FM was on in the background and he surprised me by talking about some of the music he recognised and dancing about to show me how it made him feel.

GillieB we DO have Forest Schools in this country.
My own children had no TV in their formative years and instead learned to play co-operatively and to foster their creativity. Both sons play musical instruments and the children (now adults of course) all have hobbies (pottery, knitting, baking, interior design) and enjoy various sports (kayaking, cycling, sailing, windsurfing). My children all took advantage of local forests and outdoor play spaces and built dens etc. Sadly it's true that nowadays children miss out on a lot of opportunities for imaginative play, but I still believe that children want to play in this way.

Did anyone read an interesting article in the Weekend section of yesterday's "Telegraph". It was about a woman, her DH and two of her children going to live in Germany for a month to live like the average German family - fascinating. (There is a programme on BBC2 on Tuesday night if anyone is interested). What particularly struck me was the "Forest Schools" which her DD attended; it sounded wonderful. We need something similar in this country - children playing in the woods, climbing trees, making campfires etc., encourages confidence and independence in them.

My DGS, aged 2.6, is very imaginative already - we frequently have to put out a fire on grandad - this involves going to the fire station, driving the fire engine and then swooshing him with the hose. All great fun.

I have looked after my 2 grandaughters ever since they were babie, while my daughter worked but its just the last couple of years that they want the T.V, or the computer games instead of constructive play.Now they are 12 and 14, they have changed.I have to be very firm and limit the times or they would become Zombie-like! Then, they will go up to their rooms and play music through their headphones.Grandma is left on sentry duty.
Sometimes, though, the older girl will draw for a couple of hours, and the younger one likes to do some origami.
I find myself longing for the days when they delighted me with their enthusiasm to do wahtever grandma suggested.Shame they have to grow up......