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Viewing the body

(58 Posts)
Sel Wed 07-Aug-13 14:24:30

I agree, do whatever feels right Mishap I felt guilty that I didn't go and see my Mum but haven't regretted not going. It's such a personal decision. Maybe if your last memory when your Dad was alive wasn't good then seeing him 'at peace' might help. flowers to you.

whenim64 Wed 07-Aug-13 14:22:55

I was glad I went to visit my sister after she died because she had been so very poorly and had aged significantly in the last few weeks. When I saw her in the chapel of rest, she was a young woman again, completely at peace. It's very much your choice, mishap. It might be right for you, but only you can decide. flowers

Anne58 Wed 07-Aug-13 14:20:29

Oh Mishap that's tough one. I did see Jack (on Christmas Eve) and was glad I did. I slipped a note into the coffin. My exdh's then partner tried everything she could to "persuade" me not to, painting all sorts of pictures but I spoke to the funeral directors and they were able to reassure me.

It hasn't clouded the memories of him at all, I still can bring images to mind of him at various ages, doing various things.

Give some thought to it, but remember if you don't go, you won't get another chance, but ultimately the decision must be yours.

sunseeker Wed 07-Aug-13 14:20:11

I was with my DH when he died and I sat with him for several hours before the funeral directors collected him. I also went to see him in the funeral parlour, it didn't feel like it was him. I wish now my last memory of him was at home in my arms. His brother and sister couldn't bring themselves to go to see him.

However I know people who didn't go to see a loved one who had died and always regretted it. Do you have someone to go with you, who wasn't as close to your Dad and who can support you? flowers

Bez Wed 07-Aug-13 14:16:43

I was with my Dad when he died in hospital - I can remember being very surprised at how within a minute or so he sort of changed. I chose not to go to the funeral home. I was not with my mother when she died but still did not go. My sister who was a nurse could not understand me not wanting to go and I think she went to see both.
It is whatever you feel is right for you. flowers

tanith Wed 07-Aug-13 14:16:41

I did with my Dad but frankly I wished I hadn't and I didn't go and see my Mum. I now always have that image of my Dad when I think of him but with my Mum I see her smiley face. Everyone is different in how they react if you really don't want to then don't.

merlotgran Wed 07-Aug-13 14:09:28

I didn't go and see my Dad at the funeral parlour, Mishap. I was with him when he died and didn't want to see him in any other way than when I'd last been with him. flowers

Mishap Wed 07-Aug-13 14:07:02

Tomorrow I will be down in Devon and will have the option of viewing Dad's body at the funeral parlour.

I did this with my mother and did not find it helpful at all - but I was not very close to her and felt quite detached really.

However, Dad and I were kindred spirits and I am not sure I can cope with seeing him. What do other people think?