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What to do with the ashes?

(31 Posts)
ginny Wed 21-Aug-13 17:50:00

Mishap Did your Dad have a favourite place? Maybe you could quietly scatter them there. I say quietly as I'm not sure it is really allowed. Other Gransneters might know. My Dads were scattered over the fields and by the river where he used to walk the dog.

Nelliemoser Wed 21-Aug-13 17:49:21

My parents ashes were scattered together in a little wooded quarry near where they lived. No one is likely to build over it.

They had made it clear they wanted to be cremated but not what they wanted done with their ashes. They died two months apart but I did not collect the ashes until seven months later when my sister was coming up to help scatter them.

I collected the two urns from the funeral directors and didn't know what to do with them for the next couple of days. As they had both gone into different hospitals and never returned home I decided to leave them in their empty bungalow which was waiting to be sold. I left the urns on the dressing table in their bedroom.

Next day I realised that as the estate agents were taking responsibility for showing people around the house seeing two funeral urns sitting in the bedroom was not a good idea! I rather think my Dad would have been amused at that idea but I rushed round and put them in the cupboard.

Ella46 Wed 21-Aug-13 17:26:09

My mum and dads' ashes are mixed together and all over the place in gardens and pots.

They were just ashes, not really my mum and dad, so I wasn't really worried about where to put them.

Gally Wed 21-Aug-13 17:19:36

J's ashes are : under the magnolia tree I gave him for his last birthday; under a rose bush called Joie de Vivre which is in a pot outside my kitchen (I will take it with me if and when I move); scattered on the beach near the house; in the burn which flows into the harbour where he sailed; in Sydney Harbour which he loved and the rest are in a Laurent Perrier box in the study with my pc's monitor balancing on top of it - so he has been well scattered grin

ninathenana Wed 21-Aug-13 16:31:15

We had mum's ashes scattered in the crematorium garden.
Mum had dad's buried and a rose bush planted in the gardens. We would have asked for mum's ashes to be buried with dad but it was a different crematorium.

Mishap Wed 21-Aug-13 16:25:44

When my Mum died she had stated where she wanted her ashes scattered and we honoured her wishes.

Dad had nothing to say on the subject. He was an unsentimental and practical man and it is hard to know what to do with them, as there is really nowhere that he had a particular link with. His house is being sold, so the garden there is not appropriate. And where my Mum's ashes went is not particularly appropriate for many reasons. He was not religious, so a churchyard would not be the thing. And my guess is that he would not favour a cemetery as he would not really see a stone of any kind as being his thing.

It feels quite hard this.