What to do with the ashes?

We had mum's ashes scattered in the crematorium garden.
Mum had dad's buried and a rose bush planted in the gardens. We would have asked for mum's ashes to be buried with dad but it was a different crematorium.

J's ashes are : under the magnolia tree I gave him for his last birthday; under a rose bush called Joie de Vivre which is in a pot outside my kitchen (I will take it with me if and when I move); scattered on the beach near the house; in the burn which flows into the harbour where he sailed; in Sydney Harbour which he loved and the rest are in a Laurent Perrier box in the study with my pc's monitor balancing on top of it - so he has been well scattered

My mum and dads' ashes are mixed together and all over the place in gardens and pots.

They were just ashes, not really my mum and dad, so I wasn't really worried about where to put them.

My parents ashes were scattered together in a little wooded quarry near where they lived. No one is likely to build over it.

They had made it clear they wanted to be cremated but not what they wanted done with their ashes. They died two months apart but I did not collect the ashes until seven months later when my sister was coming up to help scatter them.

I collected the two urns from the funeral directors and didn't know what to do with them for the next couple of days. As they had both gone into different hospitals and never returned home I decided to leave them in their empty bungalow which was waiting to be sold. I left the urns on the dressing table in their bedroom.

Next day I realised that as the estate agents were taking responsibility for showing people around the house seeing two funeral urns sitting in the bedroom was not a good idea! I rather think my Dad would have been amused at that idea but I rushed round and put them in the cupboard.

Mishap Did your Dad have a favourite place? Maybe you could quietly scatter them there. I say quietly as I'm not sure it is really allowed. Other Gransneters might know. My Dads were scattered over the fields and by the river where he used to walk the dog.

Mishap sorry about the loss of your father. I'd do nothing with them just yet. Unless there's a reason why not hold onto them while you have a think about what to do with them?

Mishap, sorry to hear about the loss of your father. The advice to do nothing right now is helpful. We didn't know what to do with dad's ashes, and the funeral parlour took care of them for us until we had talked things through, a lot, before deciding what we felt dad would have wanted.

I've given some thought to where I would want my ashes to be scattered when I die and just can't think of anywhere.

We have, nearby, a Natural Burial Ground which lots of people use to scatter ashes. It is unlikely to be built on, is a beautiful spot and very peaceful for a visit. I'd like to be 'scattered' there.

My Dad's ashes are on the Golf Course that was his favourite place (We have a seat in his memory there too). My Mum's are half way up the hill behind our houses. I have asked for mine to be scattered into the sea so that bits of me can travel to all the places I have never been.

Mishap I expect your dad would be quite happy if you pleased yourself about where his ashes go. If he didn't trust your judgement on this I think he would have left instructions. Put them where you'll be happy to have them.

My sis-in-law agonised over where to scatter her father's ashes when he died last year. She then remembered the lovely times they had at a local river where he taught the children to canoe so that's where they scattered them.

I want mine scattered on St. Boniface down, overlooking Ventnor on the Isle of Wight.

My parents' ashes went into the River Humber, just at the base of the Humber Bridge. My dad was a coach driver and took a party of bigwigs there when they opened the bridge. There's a nice country park there, where we used to go when we were kids, before the bridge was built.
Ken died 19 months ago, and I still have his, as I do not know where to put them. I can think of a few places, but feel the need to have them all in the same place, so I'd better not say where I'm thinking of putting them, just in case I am not allowed.
I have bought a quarter acre of woodland in his name, the Woodland Trust, but we cannot get there in the winter when it's thick with snow.
We have also bought a seat at Beamish, where we take the grandkids to have picnics and they say goodbye to Grandad when we leave.

When my mum died Dad just left it to the Crematorium to deal with her ashes, he didn't want to do anything with them.

However, when Dad died earlier this year. my sisters and I had a lovely weekend away and scattered his ashes on a very quiet part of a beach where he enjoyed going on holiday with mum, and in the county where he grew up. We sort of felt we'd taken him home, and we thought he would have been very pleased that we'd all had such a lovely weekend together too.

My father's ashes were scattered on a cliff top in a place he loved on the south coast. Unfortunately the wind blew them inland onto a family's picnic. My Dad would have been very amused!

My Great Aunt kept her husband's ashes on the mantelpiece in her living room. Then she met her second husband, when she was well over 60. (He took her on a world cruise for their honeymoon)

She then relegated Uncle to the garden shed and he was only returned to the living room after her second husband died.

Eventually he was scattered into her grave when she was buried, at her request.

a paper weight! that's what my friend did! she had some of her husbands ashes put inside a glass paperweight they offered the service at the funeral place ( although I believe it costs £200) !

Love that idea Biker. I think I'll put it in my will. I'll become an heirloom! And £200 is a lot cheaper than a headstone. I had liked the idea of the ashes being put into a firework - but a paperweight is inspired!

Mishap surely (assuming your parents still cared for each other) the best place to scatter your day's ashes would be where your mum choose? Is it a nice spot?

Day's? How on earth did Mr IPad turn dad into day's?!

www.mysterywatch.co.uk/human-ashes-cremains/4553133229
Here are some ideas.

Good lord shysal - I had no idea that these options existed!

Nfk - we have now decided to do exactly as you have suggested, even though there were some "challenges", shall we say, in the marriage. But my Dad also liked this place, so that is what we will do. We will once again try and do it surreptitiously for various reasons!

Rather like your decision to "keep them together", Mishap but for a variety of reasons, we chose to disregard both my mother's and my FIL's wishes in this respect. FIL wanted his ashes scattered half way between England and France as he felt he belonged in both countries, but after he died we ( the whole family) took the decision to bury his ashes in a family grave in Ringwood where his parents and our baby son were both buried. MIL's ashes have since joined them and this way we have a lovely Celtic Cross with all their names on and one place to visit. My Mum wanted her ashes to be taken to her home city of Berlin and had admitted it was a devious way of getting Dad to visit the city one more time. Again, I ignored this after her death (sorry Mum) and her ashes stayed at the undertaker's until after Dad's death 8 years later when I carried one urn under each arm and had them scattered/buried in a patch of earth at the foot of my Scottish grandparent's grave - again the headstone has all 4 names. I felt it was important to have one place for me, our children or future generations to visit - if they ever want to and for their names and dates to be recorded. Us? I know DH wants to be buried and I have no strong views either way, but I think the Green Burial ground in nearby Olney will be our choice with a nice tree to remember us by.

I scattered Petes ashes off Berry head from our boat. Then sold her!