There was a young lady from . . .

There was a young fellow from Kent
Whose penis was overly bent
When oft on the job
With his bendy knob
Instead of just coming he went

There was a young man from Devizes
Whose balls were of different sizes
One was so small
It was no ball at all
While the other won several prizes

There was a young man from Madras
Whose bollocks were made of spun glass
As they jangled together
They played Stormy Weather
And lightning shot out of his arse...

There once was an British Prime Minister
Who thought it was a good idea to bomb Syria
The MPs said no
Which gave him a blow
And now he is looking even sillier.

There was a woman from Consett
Who loved the forums on Gransnet
Although they brought on the onset of Tourettes
Heated exchanges and argument were her thing
Her blood pressure rose and her knicker elastic went ping!

There was an old woman from Fastnet
Who forever was posting on Gransnet
With barbs sharp and cruel
Designed to add fuel
Til the rest of them said 'Put a sock in it'.

There was a young man from Dundee
Who was stung on the leg by a wasp.
When asked if it hurt, he said "Not a bit,
And I don't really mind if it stings me again."

Some people seem to have little idea of the rhyme scheme and meter of a limerick. Just as well there are no exam marks being awarded!

There was a young man of Japan
Whose limericks never would scan.
When they asked him, Why?
He said, with a sigh,
"It's because I always try to get as many words into the last line as I possibly can."

This is a situation where I so want a "like" button. Love yours Mishap ;)

She frowned and called him Mr.
Because he fondly kr.
And so for spite
That very night
That Mr. kr. sr.

One for the mathematicians.

Said Einstein I have an equation
Which some people may think Rabelaisian
Let V be Virginity
approaching Infinity
And P be a constant Persuasion

Now if V over P be inverted
And the root of P be inserted
X times into V
The result, QED
Is a relative, Einstein asserted.

Must add my favourite!
There was an old man called Ghandi
Who went in a pub for a shandy,
He lifted his cloth
To wipe off the froth
And the barmaid said 'my word, that's handy'

Keep 'em coming! Who said you had to get po-faced when you became a grandmother!

There once was a gran lived in France
Who wearied of too much romance
To the alps I will go
Where none say hello
And leave loving and living to chance

There was a young curate from Kew
Who kept a tom cat in a pew
And taught it to speak
Alphabetical Greek
But it never got further than 'µ'.

There was an old woman called Belle
Whom everyone wanted to tell
To please go away
You are spoiling our play
With the rest of us you just don't gel.

This is the bes thread ever! Laughed out loud at them all!

Galen - now who could you possibly mean?

Plenty of people would cause that to be said!
This is a great thread, a load of laughs.

Said a man called Fiddle, "You see,
By studying divinity.
When I graduate
It will be my poor fate
To be known as Fiddle D.D."

There once was a lady from Salford
Who was known to be frightfully awkward
She fought the good fight
For those in a plight
Whilst remaining exceedingly cultured.

I'm still wondering how unutterably filthy mishap's must have been considering the ones that got through!

There once was a man called Frank
Who I think used to work in a bank
He went to a class
To get rid of his ass
But some women thought it a prank.

Now Galen, a doctor from Greece,
Worked hard for good health and peace
But all of her effort
For peace, calm and comfort
We're stymied by Gransnet police.

There once was a fellow McSweeny.
Who spilled some gin on his weenie.
Just to be couth.
He added vermouth.
And slipped his girl a martini.