Samantha has got to pop out now...........

Samantha has just started keeping bees and already has three dozen or so. She says she's got an expert handler coming round to give a demonstration - he'll carefully take out her 38 bees and soon have them flying round his head...

Samantha has to nip out to the House of Lords with her constituency friend. He's looking for support for his MP who's facing expulsion, and Samantha says it's important to have a good Peer if his Member's likely to be out...

Oh anno how I would love to claim credit for those quotes, but alas they were not penned by me!

Samantha has a new boyfiriend. He's an antique dealer. She loves to sit beside him and watch as he cleans the dust and wax off.

I went to see a recording of ISIHAC whilst Humph was still in the chair. Sadly Samantha was not there for that edition so we had to be content with Sven instead

phoenix, why are you not a scriptwriter?

Wasn't that a bit uncomfortable for her? And he would not have been able to write any notes.

Perhaps it was better than leaving it free.

Samantha always used to sit on Humph's right hand throughout the show!

Oh memories! Humph reading this things out, so deadpan... hilarious!

You are obviously not a fan of "I'm sorry I haven't a clue!"

Samantha is something of a keen horse woman, and she tells me that she's off to see a trainer who's offered her the chance of a couple of races he wants her to contest. She's quite excited, as he's prepared to drop his jockeys to enter her at Newmarket.

Oh, I see (I think!). It's a double entendre thread...

Samantha tells me she needs to leave now as she's been nursing two elderly gentlemen who have been suffering from bed sores for some time. She says they like her to go in regularly to inspect their old chaps for any sign of improvement, and last week she had both of them up and out and waving through the window.

?