Flights of Imagination.

'major oink flap'...I've never heard that phrase. What does it mean lol

vampirequeen That was a major oink flap!

George Osborne and I were sitting sipping sherry this evening discussing the economy. He has agreed to close all the loopholes that tax avoidance schemes use and spend the extra money raised on welfare, the NHS and education. He is particularly keen to make sure that all pensioners receive their full entitlement with yearly increases regardless of where they live, the bedroom tax is repealed, staff numbers are increased on the wards and resources are made available so that children can be taken on educational visits more often and that these can be simply experiences rather than having learning objectives.

Having popped over to Sicily for the weekend I spent this afternoon swimming with my dear friend Salvo Montalbano. This evening he cooked me one of his wonderful pasta dishes and he has offered to drive me to the airport tomorrow ................................

Today, whilst tidying the garden, I came upon a frog who demanded a kiss. Aware that kissing frogs can lead to an overabundance of princes and already being married to the one I want I declined. The disgruntled frog hopped away muttering croakily about doing dastardly things to Hans Christian Anderson and the Brothers Grimm.

I had a lovely, civilised lunch with my first husband, and he brought me flowers and said how delighted he was to see me!

Never in a million years!

I went to lunch with George Clooney today. He begged me to see him again tomorrow and even to consider his proposal ......but I had to decline. I'm seeing my girl friends for coffee tomorrow so it would be impossible. One has to get one's priorities right after all.

I became the first lady jockey to win the Grand National [and I look like Elizabeth Taylor].

This morning I piloted my plane across the grand canyon at sunrise. After lunch I went for a swim in the warm ocean with a pod of very friendly dolphins.

I went to visit my son, without telling him I was going to do this, and found that he could now speak - again an impossible fantasy.

You aren't a psychiatrist are you?

Today I drove to Cambridge, retrieved my 18 year old son from his Halls and brought him home with me and tucked him up in bed and read him a bed time story (a deceptively simple but ultimately impossible fantasy).

Does anyone have a spare teenager hanging around they have no use for?