Flights of Imagination.

You aren't a psychiatrist are you?

Today I drove to Cambridge, retrieved my 18 year old son from his Halls and brought him home with me and tucked him up in bed and read him a bed time story (a deceptively simple but ultimately impossible fantasy).

Does anyone have a spare teenager hanging around they have no use for?

I went to visit my son, without telling him I was going to do this, and found that he could now speak - again an impossible fantasy.

This morning I piloted my plane across the grand canyon at sunrise. After lunch I went for a swim in the warm ocean with a pod of very friendly dolphins.

I became the first lady jockey to win the Grand National [and I look like Elizabeth Taylor].

I went to lunch with George Clooney today. He begged me to see him again tomorrow and even to consider his proposal ......but I had to decline. I'm seeing my girl friends for coffee tomorrow so it would be impossible. One has to get one's priorities right after all.

I had a lovely, civilised lunch with my first husband, and he brought me flowers and said how delighted he was to see me!

Never in a million years!

Today, whilst tidying the garden, I came upon a frog who demanded a kiss. Aware that kissing frogs can lead to an overabundance of princes and already being married to the one I want I declined. The disgruntled frog hopped away muttering croakily about doing dastardly things to Hans Christian Anderson and the Brothers Grimm.

Having popped over to Sicily for the weekend I spent this afternoon swimming with my dear friend Salvo Montalbano. This evening he cooked me one of his wonderful pasta dishes and he has offered to drive me to the airport tomorrow ................................

George Osborne and I were sitting sipping sherry this evening discussing the economy. He has agreed to close all the loopholes that tax avoidance schemes use and spend the extra money raised on welfare, the NHS and education. He is particularly keen to make sure that all pensioners receive their full entitlement with yearly increases regardless of where they live, the bedroom tax is repealed, staff numbers are increased on the wards and resources are made available so that children can be taken on educational visits more often and that these can be simply experiences rather than having learning objectives.

vampirequeen That was a major oink flap!

'major oink flap'...I've never heard that phrase. What does it mean lol

Nice phrase, absent - it took me a few seconds to work out the connections? Got it yet, VQ?

I haven't got it yet. DON'T SAY YET. Give us a bit of time.

I couldn't possibly put my fantasies on here.

Like it absent

Come on jings

In my heartfelt flight of fantasy, DS1 wouldn't have had a stroke, his flipping wife wouldn't have left him and they would be living back in the UK with a couple of beautiful children.

In my ridiculous flight of fantasy, I would have a fabulous, and huge (big enough for all the children and grandchildren), holiday home just outside Aldeburgh, right by the beach. Perfect for watching stormy weather with everyone safe and sound inside.

omg sometimes I'm so dense

I've just been chatting to one of the chocolate creators from Cadbury's. Apparently they've discovered a way to make a chocolate that tastes exactly like Dairy Milk but has absolutely no calories and no unpleasant sweetner or fat replacement side effects.

It's also incredibly cheap to produce so will be much cheaper that ordinary chocolate. They're planning to market it at 20p for a standard size bar.

Oh, that would be lovely kittylester. Or even a flat on the seafront in Southwold. Be a devil to keep the windows clean though.

Has everyone else got the 'oink flap' thing? Getting a complex now.

flying pigs, jingl - only just got it myself!

Oh right! Thank you.

At the price of the ones near Aldeburgh jingle you'd be rich enough for it not to be an issue!

True! Shame is n' t it? (And, of course, I'd need a beach hut to go with it (yeah right! )

I descended a sheer cliff face on a narrow zig-zagging path with a drop of several hundred feet, but somebody had thoughtfully bolted a strong steel rope to the rock and I could hang on to it. Oops - that wasn't a fantasy!

On the other hand, my estranged daughter stopped abusing prescription medicines and realised I was not her enemy and persuaded my three grandchildren that she had been totally delusional.