Flights of Imagination.

It's Sunday morning and the weather is warm and balmy. After going for a bike ride and having a long hot shower I am dressing up in a fabulous outfit I bought recently. At around midday I will meet up with kindred spirits for lunch at an outdoor vegetarian restaurant overlooking the sea. I am going to relax and enjoy the food and conversation.

Invited onto The Graham Norton Show to discuss my blogging website 81words.net and read some of the beautiful and creative 81 word stories that people had submitted. Immediately offered a publishing deal to produce the first volume of top stories for distribution through W H Smiths at railway stations and airports. Program to be broadcast early 2014.

Are you enjoying making up things? Please keep doing, I enjoy reading what others are imagining.

It's a lovely blue skied day with the sun glinting off the slightly rippled sea.
The palms wave gently in the breeze and the sand is golden in the warmth.
I strip off my clothes to let my slim body rejoice in the the touch of the sun, then run swiftly down the beach to meet my wonderful slim athletic lover.
Then:-- I wake with cramp in my calf!

I woke up this morning to discover that I'd grown 6ins during the night. Swung my legs out of bed an found that I was really slim and shapely.
All my clothes were far too short, so set off to town on a shopping spree.
Oh and my bank balance had grown as well, every time I swiped my card to pay for a fabulous purchase the amount went into my account instead of out. I just kept spending. I then went to choir practice and sang a solo, hitting all the top notes with the greatest of ease. I got a huge round of applause, and then Simon Cowell walked in and told me I was rubbish. As if.

Yesterday played football, scored a triple hat-trick, not bad for a 53 yr old.

Yesterday Jamie Oliver cooked a meal that only cost £1 a portion without using £500 worth of equipment and store cupboard 'essentials'.

Looked out of the bathroom window and saw that my garden had been weeded and re-planted for me, the shrubs pruned and the patios scrubbed down.

I went upstairs and took out all of my size 8 ancient vintage designer clothes that I have been hoarding for years and discovered that they fit me perfectly! And that they still suit me and don't age or date me at all.

I've played chess recently against all the world's greatest players and checkmated everyone of them.

I have just asked the other half to do something, and he has not said "Where's the .............?"

I've just had a phone call from Her Maj. She's popping round for a chinwag and cuppa in about half an hour. We'll probably watch a bit of Jeremy Kyle too. She likes coming her because there is no kowtowing or fuss. She gets her teabag tea made in a mug just like anyone else and her biscuits straight from the packet to save on washing up.

I descended a sheer cliff face on a narrow zig-zagging path with a drop of several hundred feet, but somebody had thoughtfully bolted a strong steel rope to the rock and I could hang on to it. Oops - that wasn't a fantasy!

On the other hand, my estranged daughter stopped abusing prescription medicines and realised I was not her enemy and persuaded my three grandchildren that she had been totally delusional.

True! Shame is n' t it? (And, of course, I'd need a beach hut to go with it (yeah right! )

At the price of the ones near Aldeburgh jingle you'd be rich enough for it not to be an issue!

Oh right! Thank you.

flying pigs, jingl - only just got it myself!

Has everyone else got the 'oink flap' thing? Getting a complex now.

Oh, that would be lovely kittylester. Or even a flat on the seafront in Southwold. Be a devil to keep the windows clean though.

omg sometimes I'm so dense

I've just been chatting to one of the chocolate creators from Cadbury's. Apparently they've discovered a way to make a chocolate that tastes exactly like Dairy Milk but has absolutely no calories and no unpleasant sweetner or fat replacement side effects.

It's also incredibly cheap to produce so will be much cheaper that ordinary chocolate. They're planning to market it at 20p for a standard size bar.

In my heartfelt flight of fantasy, DS1 wouldn't have had a stroke, his flipping wife wouldn't have left him and they would be living back in the UK with a couple of beautiful children.

In my ridiculous flight of fantasy, I would have a fabulous, and huge (big enough for all the children and grandchildren), holiday home just outside Aldeburgh, right by the beach. Perfect for watching stormy weather with everyone safe and sound inside.

Like it absent

Come on jings

I couldn't possibly put my fantasies on here.

I haven't got it yet. DON'T SAY YET. Give us a bit of time.

Nice phrase, absent - it took me a few seconds to work out the connections? Got it yet, VQ?