The things they discuss over on Mumsnet ;)

grumpa, I wish I'd thought of that quotation!

It is not the size of the beaker, it is the angle of entry to quote Elegran

titter ye not!!

That was a wonderful comment grumppa

I share your concern, Maggiemaybe. In fact my first thought was for Mark Antony's words:-

........."Dost thou lie so low?
Are all thy conquests, glories, triumphs, spoils,
Shrunk to this little measure?"

Without any relevant experience or, I hasten to add, research. a beaker does seem inadequate. A glass receptacle would of course be too risky; something heavy and solid in silver or pewter perhaps? The cow creamer that features so prominently in one of the Bertie Wooster stories, some kind of a sporting trophy?

or even worse - that she does ....

Just suppose that he wakes up thirsty in the night .....

The only thing is J08 that no group on an open forum can have 'a laugh amongst themselves', because the moment it's typed it's out there on the big old world wide web for everyone to see and comment on. Simply the nature of the beast

Apart from reporting slight queasiness I'd just like to say that it must be a very big beaker or a very small todger. [hmmm] Or perhaps I've just been lucky.

I love the angle of the dangle Mishap

Yes - I too could not work out the mechanics of the thing. The angle of dangle is critical, and personally I think he would have to stand up to do a proper job, and, having got up, he might as well make the rest of the journey to the bathroom.

I was always intrigued that people tell children the facts but fail to mention the ensuing cold wet puddle - perhaps it is insufficiently romantic.

One thing for the women on Mumsnet to have a laugh amongst themselves, but the newspapers to take it up is beyond belief.

Mumsnet does seek some odd publicity sometimes.

Stunned disbelief. The world has gone mad. Not only do I not want to know what every one does but I'd have no intention of sharing . I'm with Galen. I don't think women have penises. And only one man dares speak.

...and they say romance is dead.

Really, is it anyone's business but the couple's? Oh yes, I did read it...

According to a 'kiss & tell' book Clint Eastwood's idea of foreplay was "Honey, did you floss?".

This Mumsnet chap must murmur softly "Darling, is the beaker ready?"

Sorry to say that I was daft enough to read the story. I was neither shocked, nor amused. It seemed rather sick IMHO. Just sayin'. Takes all sorts

I see that according to the DT the post has "gone viral"; presumably the beaker stopped it going bacterial.

Sheds a whole new light on the prehistoric Beaker Folk.

If it has been satisfactorily performed the only response to a passionate episode is, surely, entwined slumber.

I'm with nina, I'd be offended too! Haven't they heard of kleenex?

I think it's very funny too, but half of me also thinks TMI in this world where everyone seems to know everything about everyone else. Bring back secrecy I say!

Granny23 This thread is for the willing suspension of belief and practicality, methinks.

The newspapers love a quirky story like this. It attracts the readers! (Might repel them again once they read it, but they've bought the paper by then)

I cannot understand how this "story" has made it into the national newspapers. And the consciousness of the British public.

Sad really. #reflectionsofourtimes

Wouldn't want him to use the same beaker for his teeth!

I can only hope they have a designated beaker and don't rotate.