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Guardians for your gdc

(17 Posts)
bluebell Mon 21-Oct-13 09:26:20

Not sure where to put this so chat will have to do. Do you know what , if sny, arrangements your DC have put in place in the unlikely event of your dgc being orphaned?

bluebell Mon 21-Oct-13 09:27:55

Or dgc even- bloody annoying having a typo in the title

Gagagran Mon 21-Oct-13 09:46:59

Yes I do. DS would look after DD's children and vice versa. Both put it in writing, stored with the wills they made when they bought their first houses.
They told us very gently that we would be too old to take on the responsibility!

LizG Mon 21-Oct-13 09:52:40

We have a problem with this following DD's divorce. She can only put her wishes in her will but as ex SiL becomes the legal guardian he does not have to act upon them.

bluebell Mon 21-Oct-13 09:54:40

Don't say if you'd rather not, but did their respective partners have siblings and how do people sort that one out without offending people?

Lona Mon 21-Oct-13 09:54:50

Yes, my dd made provision about ten years ago although all the circumstances have changed now hmm

My ds hasn't as far as I know, and I will mention it to him.

Lona Mon 21-Oct-13 09:57:14

My sil has siblings, but they all get offended at the drop of a hat, so I don't think it made any difference!

Gagagran Mon 21-Oct-13 10:00:56

DD's partner has 1 brother who lives overseas in a third world country and would be unable to take on the children. DS's wife has 1 brother also who is divorced and lives alone and is a lot older than her so he too was discounted. I think everyone concerned knows and agrees with what they decided but we all hope it is never needed of course.

LizG Mon 21-Oct-13 10:05:39

Before their breakup ex SiL and DD asked our DD3 to look after the children in such an event but all wills go by the board in divorce. I think they chose DD3 because she was the one most likely to follow in their footsteps parentingwise. When they made their wills DD3 was under 18 so his mother and myself would have been acting guardians until she was 21. It is all a big worry though.

bluebell Mon 21-Oct-13 10:09:09

I once saw an episode of 'Everyone loves Raymond' that dealt with this issue and it was very funny but so close to the bone. I know it's very unlikely so best not to over think it I suppose but it's sensible to have something in place that covers the dgc and the financial issues.

bluebell Mon 21-Oct-13 10:09:50

I once saw an episode of 'Everyone loves Raymond' that dealt with this issue and it was very funny but so close to the bone. I know it's very unlikely so best not to over think it I suppose but it's sensible to have something in place that covers the dgc and the financial issues.

annodomini Mon 21-Oct-13 10:09:59

I remember our solicitor asked us about this when we made our wills. I know DS2 and his partner have made this arrangement - not sure about DS1 and his wife - assume it would be her brother and his wife, but not sure.

grannyactivist Mon 21-Oct-13 10:23:18

Yes, I do. This was extensively discussed and all parties agreed to the arrangement. I do think it's very sensible to plan for these eventualities - even though of course we all hope that such plans will never need to be implemented. My daughter has ensured that her children have very close relationships with their named guardians.

Elegran Mon 21-Oct-13 11:27:58

In one case the grandson is only a year off 21, so the question does not arise, though I do hope that he will consider my home to be always open to him. The other family are younger, and have made their arrangements. Their siblings are quite happy with what has been decided.

goldengirl Mon 21-Oct-13 17:24:57

A good point. I'm not sure our DC have thought of this. If I'm honest I can't see either DC taking on another 3 children [they each have 3] so I've a strong feeling we might be involved in some way but we're not getting any younger. Perhaps I should find a time to mention it - VERY tactfully!!!

janeainsworth Mon 21-Oct-13 19:01:27

I don't know what our DCs have done, and since DS and his wife live in the States it is difficult.
I do remember struggling with this when our own DCs were little and concluding that none of our friends and relatives were suitable blushshock
Looking back it seems very irresponsible.
I shall have a talk with DD when I see her at half term -thanks for bring this subject up bluebell

absent Mon 21-Oct-13 19:27:27

Eldest grandson, who already has regular contact with his father (absentdaughter's ex) and his current wife, would go to his dad. The other grandparents would become the guardians of the other four.