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Autumn

(84 Posts)
Scarlet21 Mon 21-Oct-13 21:59:06

I danced in the delicate Springtime,
Wheeled as an untrammelled kite,
I sported in wanton Summer
In strident, mid-day light.
Overbright summer betrayed me,
Shamelessly lingering on.
Clamouring colour unmade me,
Clinging to youth that had gone.

I skipped through the fresh-felt morning,
And bloomed in the afternoon
Give me now an evening,
One gliding, tiding moon.
The night must not come quickly,
Swept unawares, away,
Then I will yield, 'Come night...
I have lived the lovely day'.

I need the soft touches of Autumn,
A chance to become serene,
Out of the glare of the white light
Into the cool of the green.
When limbs that are wearied by frenzy,
Can rest before they are stilled
And cheeks that are hot from the riot
Can cool before they are chilled.

When sweet melancholy enfolds me
And there is woodsmoke tang on the air,
The russety smell of the leaf-drop
Can soothe away despair.
When misty mornings muffle
A dim and muted sun
Which lights upon nothing vibrant,
But harmony, brown and dun.

The long night of Winter is coming
And I will not try to evade
But I ask for one lingering moment
In the calm of the Autumn shade.

Ariadne Wed 23-Oct-13 13:30:23

Bit late on GN today!

Scarlet that is a beautifully constructed, poignant poem, and I loved it. Some of us do write, and post the occasional poem, and I for one am glad that you did.

soop Wed 23-Oct-13 13:21:15

bags smile

Tegan Wed 23-Oct-13 13:17:52

I've got shelves full of poetry books inherited from a friend and would love to learn more, although I sometimes wonder if I should pass them on to someone, say a young student, that would really need them. But they're such beautiful books.

thatbags Wed 23-Oct-13 13:09:55

Just to be clear: I read real confusion in Beryl's remarks (she mentioned confusion) and a real apology, so my post was an attempt to smooth the troubled waters a little. An abject failure, it would seem. Hey ho.

galen, the first poem I quoted from is Tithonus. It's miserable allright!

Just to be clear: smile
There is nothing bad-tempered in my posts on this thread.

Scarlet21 Wed 23-Oct-13 13:04:14

I appreciate that, jane, and I wouldn't really object to serious suggestions about how I could improve my poems.

janeainsworth Wed 23-Oct-13 12:59:38

Just to be clear, I wasn't classifying beryl's remark as literary criticismhmm

Tegan Wed 23-Oct-13 12:51:43

gracesmum; methinks you've lost your true vocation in life smile.

Scarlet21 Wed 23-Oct-13 12:49:00

ffinoccio- I haven't published any before except for a couple of competitions (which I won!) so I am still at the stage of seeing them as my babies and wanting to defend them. I will try to follow your lead and just 'publish and be damned'.

ffinnochio Wed 23-Oct-13 12:40:55

Scarlet - I just chuck my 'poems' in as and when although I'm not altogether sure they are poems hmm. Just a bit of rambling mostly. The thing is, I enjoy it, and it gives me pleasure.

Anno - I like your idea. Do you mean home-grown poems?

Scarlet21 Wed 23-Oct-13 12:39:04

Gracesmum.......grin

I will have another go at posting one of my poems, on the Chat thread, but I agree it would be nice to have a dedicated thread.

gracesmum Wed 23-Oct-13 12:30:50

I too am not sure that "bloody miserable" is quite what most of us understand by literary criticism. Gratuitous insult, yes, but if that is indeed literary criticism I wonder how we might review e.g. a book such as "A Tale of Two Cities" - guy gets guillotined in place of another. Bloody miserable.
Or theatre criticism - a production of "Hamlet". "Bloody miserable - everybody dies?"
Tosca- "Went on a bit, then the fat lady sang and it was over. Most people died, bloody miserable"
The new English National Ballet's Le Corsaire - " Lots of fit guys with not much in the way of tops on, jumping a lot: girls in sticky out frocks on tippy toe - goes on for over 2 hours, but then they all drown in a shipwreck. Bloody miserable" confused

Natsnan Wed 23-Oct-13 12:24:36

I also thought your poem beautiful. I love autumn and I think you caught its essence perfectly. I also have far more years behind me than I care to think about but autumn also means that after winter spring will be with us, my second favourite time of year. Thank you for sharing your poem. smile

Scarlet21 Wed 23-Oct-13 12:20:14

I am not 'averse to literary criticism' and welcomed it when I was submitting work for my English degree. I am just not sure that what was said would help anybody to understand my poem. It just came over as very nasty and the 'apology' was just as flippant and very insincere. I haven't noticed any criticism of other poems on the forum, just appreciation, so it felt very personal and I have no idea why Berylmaudie should have done it.

annodomini Wed 23-Oct-13 11:43:46

I would like to suggest a poetry thread since we do have a number of good lyrical poets. Any criticism should be constructive - sorry, wearing English teacher's hat there.
How about it, Cari/Lara?

grannyactivist Wed 23-Oct-13 11:33:05

Scarlet, autumn is my favourite season and your poem caught for me the essence of both the season and this period of my life. I was sixty this year and am conscious that I have more years behind me than ahead - your poem hooks into my feelings about both. Please continue to publish, poetry is very subjective and there will always be a variety of opinions, but if this poem is anything to go by then you have a gift that I for one would like you to continue sharing. smile

soop Wed 23-Oct-13 11:26:50

Scarlet21 I think that your poem is beautiful. flowers

hebrideanlady Wed 23-Oct-13 11:04:39

merlotgran your first sentence is so true, smile

merlotgran Wed 23-Oct-13 10:57:45

This is the season of remembrance. The older we get the more we have to harden ourselves against the sadness of some past events. It's so much easier when you are young.

My mother would never read anything with even a hint of sadness whereas I find it comforting to 'feed' my emotions - privately though as I can't stand drama queens.

janeainsworth Wed 23-Oct-13 10:51:01

I'm not sure why you are averse to literary criticism Scarlet, since it is only an attempt to try to understand your poem.
Berylmaudie made an unpleasant comment, for which she has made a grudging half-apology, but everyone else has either been complimentary or made a neutral comment.
I too thought it was sad, and a metaphor for the fading life itself.

Scarlet21 Wed 23-Oct-13 09:38:35

Thank you for everybody who has made a kind remark. When I wrote it, I was just feeling nostalgic for my youth, which seemed to have passed - at 30! Now, that makes me smile. I didn't really expect my poem to be subjected to literary criticism on a friendly site like this. Now I am not sure I have the courage to submit any more of my poems. I have spent quite a long time reading poems submitted by other members - some really appeal to me, but when I don't like one I have just said nothing.
Who is matron?

Gagagran Wed 23-Oct-13 09:04:31

Scarlet what a gifted poet you are! I was looking for the name of the author at the end of it,trying to think who it might be, so I am hugely impressed that it is your own composition. Thank you for sharing it. I have printed it out to keep with the collection of verse and writings that I have come across over the years, which I like. flowers

Galen Wed 23-Oct-13 08:43:29

Not misery. Regret and sadness.

thatbags Wed 23-Oct-13 08:13:05

I understand your assessment, berylmaudie, where you're coming from, when you described the poem as miserable. I think if you'd missed out the word 'bloody', it might have seemed more acceptable as a literary criticism.

A lot of quite famous autumnal poems contain a good deal of sadness because they are about the death of the year. I'm thinking right now of Tennyson's lines:
^The woods decay, the woods decay and fall,
The vapours weep their burthen to the ground^

and

^Tears, idle tears, I know not what they mean,
Tears from the depths of some divine despair
Rise in the heart, and gather to the eyes,
In looking on the happy autumn fields,
And thinking of the days that are no more.^

There is misery in those too.

Iam64 Wed 23-Oct-13 08:04:57

I loved the poem Scarlet

Berylmaudie Tue 22-Oct-13 21:38:29

that is very true. being rude is bad. Matron will tell me off now.