"Do not go" etc

phoenix, I am truly dreadfully sorry that you feel so awful - what a disappointing, horrible day it must have been for you.

Are there any seasonal jobs you could apply for? Or supermarket vacancies? I know you'd be vastly over-qualified, but anything's better than nothing if you really need a job.

Good luck, and don't despair - something will turn up.

There is always someone here to talk to. I wish I could make you feel better. I can certainly listen and [hugs]

phoenix hang on there, if you are in such pain do phone Samaritans, there is always someone there to talk to and listen to your pain. Please do this.

Phoenix it is 'Do not go gentle into that dark night' and it is a lovely poem.

Rage away. Big hug.

Phoenix, be kind to yourself! You've done everything to try to get work, and anyone would feel disheartened in your situation! Good advice from wise gransnetters above, and hugs from me xxx

Can't offer anything useful but want to send massive great, hugest ever love and (((hugs))) phoenix. Hang in there xxx

Thank you all, I'm lucky that I have Mr P. It used to be that at times only one of us would be in a dark place, not like that currently, unfortunately, but we will get through.

Grandmanorm , no matter how bad things might get, I don't think I could take my own life. My darling youngest son Jack hanged himself on December 12th 2008, and I could not put anyone else through that.

Off for a while, may get back later, if not tomorrow.

Much love to all.

Ahh sorry to hear that news phoenix.

Oh phoenix there is someone to talk to - lots of someones and we are all here with you. It is truly awful for you, I know, and you will find your own way through this. AND I am just down the road...

There's a big gang of us here for you, phoenix

I can understand that this is not a good month for you for many reasons. As somebody suggested, what about a temporary job very locally?

Why not take Ariadne up on her offer? A coffee and a natter works wonders for me.

Phoenix, Shout and rage as much as you like on here.

I don't know what your line of work is but is there any agency work you can do? As Ana says, you may be over qualified but it sounds as though you could do with a confidence boost.

Have you looked at part-time work? My daughter has two jobs because with two boys to bring up she cannot afford to be out of work. Although she's a health and safety consultant they cut her hours last year. Her other job is general dogsbody at a health spa at not much more than the minimum wage but she loves it.

Life is very shitty sometimes. You deserve a good rant and rave!! When I hear bloody government ministers going on about scroungers I think about you phoenix and how hard you try. Nothing I say can help but here are some and more importantly some . Thinking about you and hoping you can get through December. Be kind to yourself.

Oh phoenix so sorry again (((hugs)))

Phoenix just wish I was there with you to give you a big hug and take you out for a drink.

"Rage, rage against the dying of the light"...

Do as much raging as you like, phoenix. You can do it safely here. ((((hugs)))).

Oh Phoenix, my heart goes out to you, losing a child is the worse pain you can ever go through. My son was murdered, some years ago and although you learn to deal with it, I know there will never be a day, when you do not think about him and think "what if".
If ever you want to PM me please do because I will totally understand and will always be ready to listen.
It will get easier I promise, but, it will take time.
I know there is nothing that I can say, so love and prayers.

We are all with you!
Ill pm you my phone number if you want somebody to rage at!

Phoenix Big ((((hugs))))

Rage away Phoenix - the employment situation at present is putting so many experienced and trustworthy people out of work - you are not alone in fighting this battle. I do admire your determination to find the right job and not to rely on benefits.

How broadly are you able to look in terms of type of job? It does sound as though the sort of job you are seeking is very high pressure with difficult-to-achieve targets. Can I just ask whether you really want this at this time? Could you think about looking for perhaps a lesser paid job that might be more relaxed? The strain of all of this seems to be taking its toll.

There are so many new graduates who are currently working in jobs that do not use their paper skills - that is a situation that is part of the employment market as it stands and is very unfortunate.

I admire your determination to aim high, but have a little niggle at the back of my mind as to what this might be doing to you.

I do not know your personal circumstances and there may be sound financial reasons as to why you cannot compromise about your aims.

I speak as one who has always been a bit of a risk-taker in some areas of my life. We have taken decisions that caused our income to plummet (even when the children were at home) because we judged that quality of life was more important. Some people thought we were mad, but now that my OH has PD almost as soon as he retired, I am glad that about the choices we made.

I hope that you do not take these comments amiss - they are born out of concern for your obvious distress.

I do hope that you can have your entirely justifiable rant and rave and then find some peace. I am sure that is what we all wish for you.

I cannot imagine what you have been through in relation to your son, and can only send kind thoughts to you.

(((hugs))) Phoenix Knowing that you have great writing talent, may I suggest that you get your feelings of rage and despair on to paper NOW, while they are real, raw and immediate. I suppose there is a chance that the exercise might be therapeutic but I am certain it would be a powerful piece of writing which might be useful/marketable at a later date.

I'd also advise an appointment with a debt advisor at the earliest possible date. They may know of avenues which you have not yet considered. Martin's Money Tips is also a mine of information. Collectively, Gransnetters could probably come up with solutions but only if you explained the position in detail, which would be most unwise on a public forum.

phoenix I don't know your financial situation but from what you've posted it seems that there are some difficulties. I also don't know if you've sought any advice but I searched on the internet and it looks like The Money Advice Service is an organisation, which is free, that might be worth you having a look at. Also CABs are able to assist with contacting organisations to arrange reductions in payments until people are in a more stable financial situation.

Possibly other Gransnetters have more knowledge of what is available.

I hope you don't think I'm being presumptuous or interfering, but I know how stressful money worries can be and I was trying to think of something that might be of help.

I hope it's some comfort that everyone here is hoping that things soon get better for you.

Well said!

You are a highly intelligent woman who deserves better than this and if there were anything in my power I would do it for you. Of all the months this must be the blackest and the bleakest but you and mr p have to stick it out both for each other and for yourselves. I can offer no platitudes just my sincerest good wishes for a way forward for you both.