Anyone else on their own for Christmas?

AS SUN said in her 2nd paragraph , get the finances sorted .
Good sound advice !!

Glad you are feeling better Withany. It sounds as if he thinks he can come back once he gets back from his little jaunt. You need to think very hard about that - do you want him back, can you forgive him for what he has done.

Like Nonu said I wouldn't waste any money on him, did he leave you a Christmas present and card? If you decide you don't want him back then while he is gone I suggest you start securing your financial future - transfer money held in joint bank accounts to one in just your name, so you have control of the money, obviously he will be entitled to half but the person who controls the purse strings calls the shots, change locks on the doors and as everyone says - take legal advice.

Withany I also would not spent the price of a postage stamp on that b*****d.

Seriously, the 90 days will fly by and before you know it, he will be on your doorstep, tail between his legs, expecting to carry on as before and by then you must have worked out what you want to do. If he has done it once, he could do it again. I personally would not give him the time of day and let him rot. Do as somebody else suggested, get legal advice.

Hi Withany glad you are feeling brighter !
I wouldn't waste my money on the little b____R !
You are well shut of him !
{HUGS}

Hi everyone, feeling much better today, still have the cough but the sweats seem to have vanished. Have walked dogs this morning, and started on the washing.
Got to tell you husband went of 5th Dec. the new love in his life is 71 he is 66, she has only just buried her husband of 52 years. I emailed her and told her what my husband had done, told her she knew she had overstepped the mark when they started secretly skypeing, and didn't she ought to have a period of morning before she moved on to the next man? As I told you he met her on the Yamaha keyboard enthusiast web site. Her response was nothing about what he had done only about what she had done for her husband in his last days, she put on her lipstick, perfume gave him lots of kisses and hugs and he patted her fanny! Think I hit a nerve somewhere, anyway doesn't matter he is there now.
He emailed me twice yesterday one to say he had arrived and the other to tell me that weather terrible and he had bought food from drug store and was going to watch t.v. Like I care, think he is trying to convince me he is on his own in a hotel.
She must have booked it because there is no financial trail to suggest he did, if he had he would have got one with a bar and restaurant, because we had a nightmare in San Francisco when our hotel closed its kitchens for a re-furb and we had to eat out, the homeless there hunt in packs asking for money
Now you lovely people IS THIS TOO WICKED?? I have the lady in questions home address where my DH will be staying, I thought about sending him a Christmas present via Amazon.com a bottle of wine, maybe but then I came across a packet of 100 condoms which I thought would be more fitting what do you think? Welcome your comments and all of your support.

Similar thing happened to a friend of mine. Husband moved in with a new "lady". Spent his money on a new kitchen, new garden walls, new furniture and decorating the house. When all funds were gone she kicked him out. He thought his wife would take him back but by then she had realised she was actually better off without him! He is now living alone in a rented house probably thinking what a fool he was. My friend says she is now enjoying being her own person after years of being "the wife" of someone.

What a bastard! Sorry but he a complete cad and bounder - old words but descriptive. I hope the lady in the U.S. realises this and sends him packing. Keep chatting to us on GN the one thing we all have in common is years of experience.

Hello Withany, and welcome! You'll be fine! Buy your favourite food, a good boxed set or film you've always wanted to see, and luxuriate in your own company. I'm guessing that most of us Gransnet addicts will be checking in, so there'll always be someone to natter to. Good luck

I just read about the Abbeyfield scheme for Xmas where you can go to one of their shared homes or nursing homes and spend Xmas Day with other women on their own. You can also join in the activities in the New Year. It's in The Times newspaper today. Contact Abbeyfield and good luck!

Remember all those lovely grans who care, withany and keep writing. I'm around at Christmas too .Hope you're feeling better?

Remember all those lovely grans who care, withany and keep writing. I'm around at Christmas too .Hope you're feeling better?

Hey Withany, not sure but looks like will be at home boxing day, seeing friends on Christmas day. You are one real brave strong lady.

You're very brave, Withany.
I should be online too at xmas, (as long as we don't lose reception.)
Have you got Skype? That's a wonderful way to keep in touch with family.
Stay strong.

So sorry Withany -cheated,betrayed ,isolated and alone -no wonder you succumbed to infection.
These things always feel worse around Christmas.
I've had a few lonely Christmases over last 30 yrs and it wasn't that bad.even though we didn't have Gransnet then.
Plan for the spring when you might take a holiday,start a new hobby or even consider having paying guests.
Meanwhile keep positive,keep warm and take care of yourself.

I was shocked to read your post, Withany. Lots of good advice here and also lots of support. Please keep on posting - there are always people around.

Go on to ebay and start selling his stuff. Might bring in a few pounds .take the advice given here. Shock and unhappiness lets the colds and flu germs in so nurture yourself.

Morning Withany. Keep talking to us all . There are good friends here for you and grans with so much common sense; warmth and empathy. Try out soop's kitchen for a and and you'll be surprised how relaxing it is .If you go early you can get the kettle on
It's a new day.Come out fighting

Hi Withany, glad you posted here - even when physically alone, it's great to be able to chat to friendly sympathetic people. You can get a lot of support and laughs on GN too.

Really hope you're feeling better soon - and good to know you have your little dog with you, pets are such great loyal loving companions. Certainly much better than that b *** of a husband!

Look after yourself and keep posting x

I echo what all the other posts say Withany, welcome to GN. I am new too. I'm not near you, but there may be others who are. This is a good place to vent your feelings whenever you need to.So sorry to hear about your trouble, what a dreadful thing for your husband to do, when you have been married for so long as well, unbelievable!Hope that you will feel better soon, take care

welcome with any, I'm a relatively new granset member and confirm it can be a really friendly and supportive place. Behaviour like that shown by your husband can really dent our believe in our ability to trust our own judgement. Your posts so far say you have the emotional strength and much needed sense of humour, to see you through.
No consolation, I know, but a very similar thing happened to a close friend. I'd second Kate13's recommendation about lock changing, and legal advice. I've a feeling he'll be back...

Hey Withany wishing you good health and hope you get rid of that infection soon. Kate13's advice is good - get your ducks in a row while the bxxxxxd is away.

You don't say where your family (and granddaughter) lives?

Have no time for philandering husbands myself. After 30 years mine went off with another man and, no, I hadn't a clue either.

This year will be the first family Xmas for 6 years tho - two DD's, one sil and one gorgeous gs - so I'm going to make the most of it especially as I;m not the one doing the cooking.

Keep posting and let us know how you are doing and if you want to let off steam this is the best place for it x

withany please keep chatting and please look after yourself. The GN group is really good and was there for me when I really needed support. I would really have a good think about what YOU want before your fella returns and maybe get some advice from the CAB or a solicitor.Free advice from the CAB and free first 20 mins with selected solicitors nationwide. At least you'll be ready for him and know where you stand legally.
Personally I'd change all the locks and my telephone number .

Having a chest infection is certainly not helping. What a pity that you are so isolated. I am assuming that you can drive and he has not "borrowed" the family car.

Please make sure that this nice man cannot help himself to anything else, including selling your house, behind your back.

There will be a few of us on Christmas day having a chat here so please feel free to pop in as you fancy. You will never be and should not feel alone. Wales is a tad far from London for a coffee!!

Withany stay on here and you will find plenty of friends to talk to at all hours as far as I can see.

With your positive attitude I am sure you will cope but when it is tough GN will be there to chat.

It is very tempting to hope your husband comes a cropper when he gets to the USA. Sorry I know that is not nice but he is asking for it. I know an older guy who did pretty much the same thing with a Russian who came here and married him and then left him! Dill s.d deserved all he got!

Just get on with your life without him but don't make any drastic changes yet as you will need to know what life feels like on your own first.

Hi everyone, Thank you so much one and all, just reading the comments from so many of you has given me a much need lift. I live in South Wales between Ebbe Vale and Merthyr about 1300 feet up, get cut off by the sheer volume of snow that seems to fall and where I am there is no through traffic, no buses, nothing in fact.
In answer to so many of you No I didn't know it was coming and he walked out 6 weeks ago on Thursday, got himself sheltered accommodation by saying he was homeless and vulnerable, but has the money to visit the USA for 90 days. Anyway only a couple of days now before he is gone rushing off to relive his youth.
I have a really nasty chest virus, Doctor thought it was a chest infection but antibiotics not worked so I just have to sit it out, that frightened me more I think feeling so poorly and being isolated as well. I do have the company of my little King Charles spaniel Jac 11 months old and my husbands 10 year old unwell collie cross. I have managed to get them walked the last day by a man that lives at the bottom of the fields from me, he kindly gave them a run today, my legs are too wobbly and I am still doing the hot and cold sweat thing although temperature is normal.
Anyway, enough of my moans and groans my granddaughter is having her 5th birthday party at the week end, and although I can't be there she is going to Skype when she cuts her cake, hope the voice improves by Sunday or I will sound like a baritone when I join in the Happy Birthday song. Once again thank you so much for your kind responses, will keep on chatting.