Anyone else on their own for Christmas?

Can't remember a day crawling past so slowly. Took dog out for an hour but found it hard coping with happy families out together and wishing me happy Christmas. I know it sounds like sour grapes and I usually feel buoyant, but a long day clutching my mobile, hoping beyond hope that if not all three, then one of my daughters would text and wish me a nice day - it hasn't materialised

Hi Petra, no he doesn't get pension credit I do, because he took the savings and his pension and put it into a new private account.
He says he got the housing by saying he was vulnerable he is 66 and too frightened to come back here??? No one has ever been here to question that statement, it was me with the bruises, but there you go. Once he agrees to financial settlement, and we sell I think he can stay where he is because it is sheltered housing, I don't think they care if you get an inheritance or win the pools even, I think once you have secure housing that's it.
I on the other hand, have very little housing priority, because I am still in the home, with 2 dogs (one is his) so I have roof over my head, once sold I shall have capital, so I am told to either buy or rent privately. But I have got housing options under control, just need for DH to return to this country so that I can press on with things, but I am having a breather, I seem to have been dancing to his tune through all this, so I am having a little think about what it is I want. Seeing solicitor early January and will get things organised how I want them for when he returns. But thank you for the information, if I get the financial settlement my solicitor suggests I will, then he will need sheltered housing for a very long time. Cheers

nelliem, hope you had a good stomp along the canal path. Enjoy your meal tonight.

Withany, what will you do when the house is sold and He gets his financial settlement.
I know what I would be doing. I would be straight on the phone to the housing dept. because he must have made a declaration that he had no property AND that there was no property that he had an interest in ( to put it simply) I would imagine that he also applied for pension credit. I would be on the phone to them as well.
If you do this, make sure you wait 'till the money is in his A/C. because if he is called in ' for an interview' they will ask to see the last 3 months bank A/CS

Having waited all morning for OH to get off his B*** computer, I made a grand gesture and drove off from the house at about 2:30 pm to a local canal.

For a walk, not to throw myself in I hasten to add!

I took some photos and then went off up to the local hill to the folly. When I was about to leave OH had only just come down for some lunch, it was make your own style.
If I had waited until he was ready to go out it would have been even later and colder and not much daylight left.

I am intending to cook something reasonably festive tonight but I do not feel festive. It's for my benefit not his, he does not seem to notice what he eats anyway. God knows what will become of this stupid mess.
Dolly (((hugs)))

Thank you everyone, I have got a new email account which I use when I want to keep DH out of the loop, very often I hope he is checking what I am doing and saying, nothing complementary I can assure you PS. Passwords changed to almost everything, if he wants to know what the fuel Bill is, good luck to him. Who would have thought, when you are with the new love of your life that you would want to be skulking about sending ECARDS on Xmas eve!! I think I would be doing something more romantic...
Just had my Xmas lunch, dogs joined me, they are both fast asleep, got to wake them now for their last walk before it gets to dark. Got to struggle into my wellies again, but it's not raining yet. Hugs to everyone, off to brave the elements...

Thank you everyone, I have got a new email account which I use when I want to keep DH out of the loop, very often I hope he is checking what I am doing and saying, nothing complementary I can assure you PS. Passwords changed to almost everything, if he wants to know what the fuel Bill is, good luck to him. Who would have thought, when you are with the new love of your life that you would want to be skulking about sending ECARDS on Xmas eve!! I think I would be doing something more romantic...
Just had my Xmas lunch, dogs joined me, they are both fast asleep, got to wake them now for their last walk before it gets to dark. Got to struggle into my wellies again, but it's not raining yet. Hugs to everyone, off to brave the elements...

dollie Feel free to chat at any time, talking helps even just typing the words. You are not alone as others have said although that is probably no comfort to you. We are here, a great many of us are alone - some wishing we weren't others wishing they were. Perhaps we should be careful of what we wish for.
withany Please take charleygirls advice and change your password or at least create another account you can use privately for your mail etc. and only use what he has access to to post what you want him to hear. My ex was logging in to my email account for some 4 or 5 months after she left me which is how she knew exactly what I was doing and where I was going in order to come to the house to take things. I changed my passwords and back door lock - problem solved. I keep a key half turned in the front door so she cannot get in from there. She obviously will not chance coming here now as she wouldn't know if I was here or not whereas before she knew exactly when I would be away. I would imaging your husband is justifying his actions to himself by wishing you a merry christmas - dont fall for it and do let all your mutual friends and relatives know exactly to what despicable depths he has sunk to and subjected you to. It might just make you feel a little better.

withany you must change your password and anything else that lowest of low has access to. How low will he stoop? Try and ignore him. Just block him out by changing banks, passwords and anything else you can think of.

Give your dogs a hug instead. They appreciate what is done for them.

He will be repenting at leisure and the sooner that happens and he is out of your life, the better.

dollie. I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so sad today but if it helps any, you know you will be welcome to come and chat on here throughout the day.

None of us can be sure who actually is having a wonderful day. Looking at the clock and looking out the window will only make you more sad so try to occupy yourself in other ways.

Hi everyone, been out with the dogs woke up to a smattering of snow, still see it on the beacons, the locals say its waiting for more?
Well today is not as bad as I thought it might be, I have been offered 2 plated up Xmas dinners (Food but not company) I am cooking my own as I type this. I have skyped with my DGD whilst she opened Christmas presents, she is such a ray of sunshine I have put on my makeup and a posh jumper and am pretending everything is alright, what my son and family can't see during the Skype wont hurt them.
Last night I was so angry with my DH he sent me an ecard saying although I send him messages full of anger and I may not think it but he did wish me a very Happy Christmas. On checking I found he had used my E card provider, signed in using my password and had sent 30 ecards. I was furious and sent him message in capitals, telling him how cheap he was, and that I would now send these people he had sent an ecard to, yet another one to tell them the truth. Because I didn't want phone calls asking what had happened and raking it up all over again just before Christmas, I had already sent Ecards to most of these people from the both of us.
I sent him a copy of what I proposed to send, it named names and gave the bare bones of what DH had done, clearing savings accounts and so on. I then went to bed and hoped he would have a restless night thinking I had sent this Ecard telling everyone the truth about him leaving me which of course I hadn't but he doesn't know that does he.
I am so sorry dollie you are feeling so low, hug from me. You are not on your own, you are not invisible you are a unique human being. I am sure your family do think of you, our minds are very good at seeing pictures and imagining what people are saying and doing, I have found this is not always what is going on. So chin up dollie you can do this, one day at a timecome on we can do this together, GNs will help us both.

Oh dollie; well, you're not inviisble on here so a virtual hug is one it's way. Poor minibags; I hope the migraine passes quickly.

Oh poor Minibags just not fair. Hope she does eventually feel better and can enjoy her day.

am sitting here watching the clock tick so slowly ....looking out the window im seeing neighbours freinds/ relatives visiting piled high with presents and xmas cheer...my daughter and grankids are but 10 mins away! but i am invisble to them i dont exist...im trying to pull myself together but its so hard when you know your family are having such a wonderful time and your not even given a second thought!!

Thinking of going for a walk, will need wellies as everywhere is so wet. The OG will come too ( it will be like a shopping trip as he will talk incessantly all the way (hmm))

Best wishes to everyone on their own either actually or figuratively.

Tricia my DH has crawled back to bed as he sits up till all hours doing heaven knows what on the computer. It has reached the point where I enjoy peace and quiet. Which is not as things should be.

Hello from Argyll, folks. Minibags has a migraine. Anticipation and excitement, even when it's positive, don't seem to agree with her. She has gone back to bed to await the up-chucking. After that she'll be fine.

We'll be back at the docs about the 'preventive' treatment....

Hey ho.

Hello everyone. ps I am sorry you are feeling lonely nice to have had a message from your son's girlfriend though. I agree with you re. the tv, but I shall watch Downton Abbey tonight.

To all of you on your own I wish I could be of practical help instead of just words, but Malta is a little too far away to invite you over. Maybe next year?!

Best wishes to all - I'm not exactly alone (DH is here somewhere), but no other family.
Nellie your report of the shopping trip made me smile - I get very irritable with DH when he comes shopping with me because he goes for the large "economy" packs of all the sweet stuff, and spends a fortune.
Withany - hope you can Skype your grandchildren and the weather isn't too bad in Wales.
T x

There is as usual some good stuff on Radio 4 to listen to.

Withany I do not get to see my children or DGS until Friday and that's weather permitting! Stay strong enjoy your skype with your children.

My DD lives 50 miles away! She is on an early nursing shift this morning and off to her nearby MILs with her hubby and the little fellow when she finishes.
My DH is for various reasons not a lot of help or company. Yesterday he decided he was coming shopping with me which delayed me about half an hour. He just mithers me with his fussing and faffing that I end up more stressed that if I went alone.

Yesterday unable to scan his store points card he got very agitated and started rudely shouting for an assistant. She told him off and I did the same! Firmly and relatively politely in the shop and with a few choice and very rude expletives when back in the car.
The trouble is I had shoulder surgery about two months ago and only started driving short distances about 3 weeks ago so I have needed him for trolley pushing and lifting. The joy will be getting back to doing it all myself.

Take care all you loners! Keep posting.

if you have Mama Mia DVD pop that on! it always does the trick for me..

Here's wishing a very happy Christmas to all especially to all those of us on our own today.
Just had a lovely text from sons girlfriend in Hampshire, such a thoughtful girl. It will ease the feelings of loneliness. Thank god for TV but I'm afraid the offering appears to be drivel with the exception of a little comedy tonight albeit having been repeated countless times.
Enjoy your day and may your god smile on you.

My love to you all today. I hope your day is peaceful. xxxxxxx

A very Happy Christmas to all Grans and a special good morning to those on their own today
I am allowing myself 20 minutes on here while doing the nails.