What do you think should be done about food poverty?

That is so sweet!

for you jings. I think you are very brave to speak up for what you believe. There is a lot of support for you and the right to express your own opinion.

My tin hat is a bit rusty so I am behind the front line making encouraging noises!

Oh please no group hugs!!! Pleeeease!!!

.

Phew, so glad i caught up with this before going out. Result, Respect - peace reigns on gransnet on the parenting front!

Now I think we're talking the same language jingll. Kids can lose their way though, however good a parent you might try to be.

We will have to agree to differ on how much influence being a loving parent has on what happens next.....

Bags only 8 years? What are you? A tidiness freak?
When you've finished would you like to come down here and help with 35years worth?

Wow Bags! Respect! Good luck with it.

night owl I have been with my children through thick and thin. Of course. You do the best you can. Always.

No one is perfect. Who would claim to be?

"Clean and tidy"????!!!!! No chance. Well, perhaps sometimes.

Sod it. Can't do it.

I think the result of being a reasonably decent parent is an adult child who cares about the rest of the people in the world, cares about the environment, and has a good capacity for giving love.

Def nothing to do with successful career, looks, or any of the other things gillybob mentioned there.

However, right now i am going to clear out a book case of eight years' dross.

Right behind you, jings! Don't be oppressed by people who appear to disapprove of free speech.

trying really hard to say no more...........

There's nothing actually wrong with taking credit for doing one's best.

Which is what I was saying a different way, nightowl.

Just for the record, I'm very happy with how my three children have turned out as well. Flawed, struggling, at times very unhappy, but always loving, mostly hardworking, trying their best. Isn't part of being a good parent sticking with your children even when they have problems, rather than expecting them to 'never bring any trouble home' (favourite expression of my mother's) or to somehow be a credit to their parents? Not only happy, I'm proud of how they have overcome various problems. I take no credit for anything other than always being there to support them. How it's worked out is a matter of chance IMO.

I think it's fine to take credit for doing one's best as a parent. That doesn't mean one has got it all right, or that one's offspring are perfect, just that on the whole one did what seemed best at the time. Most parents want to do and try to do the best for their kids. Most parents love their kids. Those parents are good parents even when things go wrong.

We seem to have strayed from food poverty and what to do about it but I think most of us agree that blaming people for being poor doesn't seem to help much.

I am interested as to what actually qualifies someone as "a good parent".

Are we basing this on How good a job little Johnny now has? How much he/she earns? How good looking they are? Clean and tidy? Taking or not taking drugs? Smokes? Drinks?................

For goodness sake.

Two sons, one of whom tried cannabis, one of whom didn't.
I reckon that makes us what I've always thought, good enough parents.

What about parents who have several children who are successful, loving non drug takers and one who is addicted, unemployed and always falling out with the parents?

I know of several families like this. If it's all down to the parenting, are those parents good or bad ones?

Regardless of background, good/bad parenting or where one lives, the key to addiction is having an addictive personality and this applies to alcoholism or drug abuse the difference being one is illegal which causes so much criminal activity the other one is legal and taxable and anyone can walk into a supermarket and buy the alcohol of their choice.

Anyone choosing to take drugs or alcohol are taking the same gamble of becoming addicted.

Did anyone mention taking all the credit, jess? I suppose one post did sort of imply something like that but i don't think one needs to read too much into that.

I understand where you're coming from, jings. My father had a very brusque approach to illegal drugs. Part of it, I'm sure, was a lifetime of seeing students wreck their lives by drugs. He wrecked his too, to some extent, because he was addicted to nicotine. If he jadn't been, he might well have been alive now.

If he had ever discovered one of his kids using heroin, he'd have called the police and got us charged with possession and we'd have had to deal with the consequences. So would he

I'm not sure that's what I'd do. I'm not sure I even think possession and use of heroin should be illegal. Making such drugs illegal just seems to fuel the criminal trade in them and people get rich while wrecking lives.

Confused? Me? You bet.

Nothing wrong with being happy. Taking all the credit is another matter. Particularly when it is combined with implying that parents are to blame for children making wrong choices, or becoming addicted.
Good parenting helps. As does luck, economic circumstances, the behaviour of the other parent and the part of the country you grow up in.