Is anyone else glad it's over?

I think the positives are reflected in the "letting go" and not hanging on to tradition like grim death. Once we accept that the words always and never can be ignored we free ourselves up to enjoy life without some of the emotional baggage. Maybe that could be my NY resolution. It addresses many issues I and others have aired on GN.

Thank you

Liz for some reason I didn't see your post, but happy it went so well for you.

Gally a brave post.
Ariadne trust you got home safely.

Liz That's lovely

Gally hugs across the miles!
Ariadne some for you too, and a safe return.
My 'lot' arrive tomorrow, and will stay until Friday.....
Planning a good,old-fashioned 'tea' for when they arrive as DS said they won't want much!

The build up to Christmas wasn't good and hand on heart I was dreading it, but .... We started with Christingle then spent an evening or day with each daughter in turn until we held our own Boxing Day +1 meal yesterday. Yes I am glad it's over but it has been one of the best I can remember for a long time and a respite from recent problems. I feel so lucky

It is DG2's birthday today, and we arrived here on Cheltenham yesterday (from DS2 in Fareham) did Christmas with them last night to prepare for the birthday today. (She is 10)

It was all lovely, but we will head back to Devon this afternoon, and I am looking forward to that as much as I looked forward to Christmas.

And yes, I am full up with lovely food, but sitting here with the biggest box of Swiss chocolates I have ever seen on the coffee table...

Mind you, it's my birthday next week

I am in Oz with DD2 and her family plus inlaws who live in the other half of the house, plus my DD1 and her family who are here from the UK for 3 weeks : 7 adults, 6 gc's under 10 and 2 teenage step gc's and joined by 4 more 'family' in the evening. Chaotic doesn't even cover it At least the food was easy - prawns, squid, oysters, scallops, fish, salads and fruit. The children all had far too many presents and were wingeing for more, their parents drank far too much (in my opinion, and I do like a drink or 3 myself), the mess was incredible, knee deep in paper, toys, bottles, dust, nowhere to plonk myself away from the noise; it was hot, rained all day so the children had to stay inside or on the deck, but I wouldn't have had it any other way - the alternative too awful to contemplate. Having always 'done' Christmas until J died, I find it difficult to let go; I always organised everything from start to finish and found last Christmas, the first without J horrible and just something to get through,but as Jane says, time to go with the flow and maybe it's time to take a back seat, enjoy being catered for and zip the lip .

Yes.

Christmas this year was relatively quiet for us with just DH, DD3 and her 2 boys. Other offspring all at inlaws this year BUT today they all arrived back from Heathrow/Gatwick at different times and different Belfast airports. There are now 9 extras resident with us for AWEEK including 3 DGCs aged 5, 2 and 9 months. Tonight there were 14 of us for dinner! I love seeing them all but the logistics of sleeping arrangements, feeding so many for a week, making sure everyone is getting what they need and hoping no arguments break out (though they all mostly get on well) is really exhausting. I'm promising myself a little spa indulgence as a reward if I get through it

Mind you, I do feel for those of you who have no family and find Christmas a lonely time. I am so lucky to have been blessed with a close family.

Soutra I know what you mean about being Mum again and having all the chicks under your roof. I feel like that too, but the last time that happened for me was 2007, and the last time I hosted any of them at our house was 2009, though in 2011, DD1 and family came to stay, but the newly married DD2 and SiL insisted that we all go to theirs for the dinner. The other years we went to the States to see DS and family. This year I cooked the dinner, but at DD1's house.
I don't know if I'll cook Christmas Dinner for them again in my house. I hope I will, but as long as we never fall out about it, I don't care.
I still make the house nice, put up all the cards and have a proper Christmas tree. My MiL, who came to DDs with us, said to me 'I don't suppose you bothered with a tree, did you?' She couldn't have been more wrong.

My Mum always wanted us to go to her for Christmas, not least because my Dad had died at home on Christmas Eve, many years ago, and she wanted to be there, which I understood and sympathised with. But in the end I decided that our kids needed to be at their home for Christmas, and said to Mum she must come to us. No, she said, she wanted to be in her own home.
Ok I said.
The next day she rang and said could she change her mind. She came and stayed and said she didn't know why she hadn't come to us years earlier.

So as you said on one of the other threads, go with the flow. Family traditions have to change with the years, but we can still enjoy them.

It's a love hate relationship - for me. I do love the hosting and the feeling that for 24 hours at least I have all my "chicks" back in the nest and I am Mum again but I am conscious of finding it all a bit of a strain perhaps because on our own we lead a fairly quiet life so a lot of people in apparently every room in the house, all chatting at once (we can get noisy) while fun, is also tiring. Our present house is modern so it is hard to get away on your own like we could do in our old Victorian house where the rooms were much more spread out. But how grateful I am that I have a family who do come home however much I worry about the food/beds/travel/mess. I do count my blessings. I believe plans are afoot for DDs 2 and 3 whole live quite near ech other in London in tiny Victorian cottages, to jointly host Christmas next year. Could be ideal!!

We spent Christmas with the inlaws - and it is always hard work as they make elaborate plans for meals and table and decorations and then run out of energy and leave it all to us - and this year they had invited quite a few others as well. We end up doing all the work. We could accept that, but they criticise everything, and every time we go up we forget how bad it can be. We only go up so that Son can see his cousin and stay in touch. DBH loves his parents but if they lived nearer would only ever stay with them for a meal, not two/three days.

Our own Christmas starts today, as my daughter has to work over Christmas and gets up to us two days later. They will be with us for four days and it is lovely. We are all very easy going and relaxed and the 2 year old has painted all my nails at least ten times today, sil has so far spared us his new monopoly set but I know what we will be doing tomorrow night - and I am determined to make the most of it because the children have many older and far more exciting cousins down south and will not want to spend much time with us as they get older. I am already having to relinquish my computer to the five year old and my tablet to the two year old - and she knows exactly how to download her apps! I reckon in another 7 or 8 years DBH and I will be having as many leisurely Christmases as we like. It's very hard work - but I love them coming at any time of the year.

I really don't like Christmas. I worry about money, weather, family rows, travel logistics, shopping timings, how to deliver presents and how to collect them, will my mother sit down and give me a list of exactly what she hated in her tesco delivery, (my annual xmas present to her of luxury goods) and how to avoid all the mince pies that will be pressed upon me. What to get for all the men. How to avoid singing in too many choirs due to others going down with colds. How to sort beds now that the children are getting bigger. The thought processes keep me awake at night for weeks beforehand, I suspect I am not alone in that. I dread it all, every year. I wish it had not got all so commercialised.

Tegan, thank you for asking, my DIL isn`t too bad, she`ll always have vasculitis, but it seems to be under control. She`s hated being on the steroids because of the bloatedness, but she`s now on a different version that she only takes once a week, and doesn`t cause so much bloating. She had another birthday party in November to make up a bit for feeling so rotten at the previous one. And she was happy that Christmas Day was just going to be the 3 of them, for the first time ever (about 11 or 12 years), as her mother was invited to her brother`s for a change.

Is there any point in saying don't let it get to you? It eats away at you and spoils the time you do have together. Different magnitude I know but 2 sis in laws plus nephew due here on Xmas Eve I had said any time after lunch - got here just before 10 having left Tonbridge at 7.30 DH furious, me? Whatever - go with the flow!!

I am always sad when Christmas is over, but, as normally small eater, I really am full up now!

I am sitting here fuming. CD et al came lunchtime. Ds who said he would be here at 5pm just rang to say he is now about 30 miles away. DD is getting the gorgeous little boy to sleep before I gobble him up. I have no idea at all about whether or not he is telling the truth about when he left and how bad the traffic is. Its now about 8 pm.

I always regret spending too much money and putting too much effort in, but every year I do it again. Will I ever learn? Am looking forward to the day when I don't "do" Christmas for the rest of the family. Not sure when that will be or if it will ever happen. You would think that having two DDs that that would happen but I am not holding my breath!! I too am eating far too much Tegan so I can use it all up and start the diet

I've just ate another plateful of food, and wasn't even hungry, but just wanted to use up more food [why do I always end up with bowls full of red cabbage?]. I feel like booking myself into a health farm tomorrow and living on water for a week. number; how is you DIL these days? You had a torrid time last Christmas, if I remember right.

I'm sorry it's over. It was wonderful to be with so many members of the family under one roof and DD and SIL worked very hard to give us all a great time. I'm glad all the driving is over though. The journey down was awful on Monday. It felt like spending 6 hrs in a car wash!! Coming home was much better thank goodness.

It's always just Mr P and I/me for Christmas, but I still stick to my theory that the anticipation is the best bit.

I still love Christmas Eve, that "feeling" !

Our lives sort of came to a standstill in July, when hubby first went into hospital, and July, August, September, October and November have all been taken up by hospital stays, and hospital and doctor visits, by both of us, so Christmas rather crept up and jumped on me this year. For the first time ever we`ve not hosted family get togethers, I just didn`t feel that I could cope with all the catering, but they have all been round over Christmas. It was lovely to get up this morning and not think about all the cooking to be done, lunch was a jacket spud for me, cheese on toast for hubby, and a fried egg butty for daughter. Tea will be a takeaway, what a blissfully lazy day!

Just beginning for me.

DS1 brought the grandchildren, age 8 & 4, from Somerset, had lunch and has now left.

They've been here about 2 hours and the place is a tip!

I am hearing so much pain and disappointment and I agree that our expectations and the hype do not help regardless of whether if we are on our own or if we are feeding the five thousand - and even where things have gone well, it is such bl**dy hard work isn't it?I should be grateful that our family were all here and I am but I wince when I think of how much I overcatered, how much I have spent and how much is left over Fine if we can live off it for the next 4 weeks I suppose. Yes everybody coming contributed part of the food but there are so many other things to get and I just daren't think of my shopping billsor ook at the bank balance. Then there is all that bedding/towels/table linen to launder, there is furniture to move back and somehow find a space for new stuff. Finally I need to find all my china and glasses from the wrong shelves etc and wrong cupboards where enthusiastis and well-meaning washer-uppers have put them!!
On the plus side - having all 3 DDs under one roof, having the little boys to cuddle, having new grand-dog who behaved impeccably and (not least) having other people around so when DH got grumpy I could just be "busy" elewhere.He claims to have loved every minute but his stamina (and patience) are in short supply and even carving the turkey nearly led to meltdown. The last guests (DD2, SIL and dog) left at lunchtime today and already he is grumbling now but I am just going to ignore him and catch up with all the TV I have missed over the last 5 days!