Bedtime for small children

Thankyou everybody for your support and comments. Yes I do wish my daughter had been a little more flexible that weekend but she is a very good mum and really I feel I do feel it was her choice and I should support her in this. On the the other hand I don't think she appreciates the strain that her brother and his wife have been under with theI IV F and the pregnancy. Living so far away and not communicating means she hasn't seen it first hand. I hope that when the babies are born that may help heal this rift.

Mishap, that's it isn't it - good routines to make life easier and happier for all, but flexibility and occasional midnight pj treats.

My DGC walked to the park on New Year's Eve at midnight in their pyjamas. They were entranced and will remember that forever.

They normally have a strict bedtime routine - but how excited they were by this mad treat!

I believe in a routine but with a little flexibility now and then. Sons were brought up this way and I'm happy that my DGC are too.

grandma60 when one of my daughters was pregnant with her twins after IVF treatment, not only was she very poorly but her mood swings had us all running for cover. She used to leave letters and cards of apology for her partner to find when he got up early in the morning (she was absent from work due to illness and would stay in bed for another hour). I don't know how many times she took umbrage at imagined sleights and anticipation that she was going to be criticised, poor girl. I hope your family can put it behind you

Thanks for your support Rosesarered. I'm sad that the whole family can't join in the anticipation of the twins birth . After they will be the DGC cousins. My son tried to speak to.my daughter after the weekend but she was so upset she would not answer the phone so he now refuses to speak to her.!When he rang to tell us that dIL was pregnant I asked him to ring his sister b ut he refused. She has not rung them to congratulate them on the pregnancy as she says she has not been told, although she did ask me to.offer them some baby things she no longer needs. If I try to talk to her about she becomes upset and my son just digs his heels in. Of course they went through a lot of stress with the IVF. (The firs t time failed). Sorry I have completly highjacked this thread Its just that I have never had to deal with anything like this before.;

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Sorry to hear that grandma60 we all know on here [most of us anyway] that our grown up children often don't act in a very grown up way, which leaves us as you say as piggy-in-the-middle or walking on eggshells around them all, it's very tiresome, and not what we expected in our so called golden years!However, your daughter has every right to do what she thinks is best for her own children.Your son and DIL will soon find this out.

Yes things got very tense that weekend. DIL had just started hormone treatment for her first round of IVF and was a bit emotional saying things she would not of normally said and understandably my son backed her up. My daughter became upset and dug her heels in about the childrens bedtime (she didn't know about the IVFas we had been asked to keep it to ourselves) Our son and Dil live at the other end of the country so things are just dragging on. I love them all but I am feeling like piggy in the middle

I always had a bedtime routine - but I also think that on special occasions the rules can safely be broken. Children do understand that these are special treats and they look back on them with joy.

I would always say compromise on the usual routine once in a while! That will not hurt any child. Probably a no no with school next day.

OK they might be tired and whingy the next day but can be overcome.
Rigid compliance on such things is boring. One Saturday night a month or much less should not derail any child's routine. It's important to be flexible when needed.

Sorry to hear about the rift, grandma60, I think your son should keep his opinions to himself until he has children of his own! (not meant harshly, I hasten to add - just hilarious when people without children tell others how they should be doing it!). Personally, I think once in a while staying up doesn't hurt if there is no school the next day; unfortunately my DGS (age 5) would take advantage of this any chance he could - he has always been difficult to get to sleep. DGD2 is going into a bed soon - that should be fun!

My daughter has the DGC aged 5 and 2 in a strict routine which includes bath and bed by 7.30 every night. This works for them especially now the 5 year old is at school, as my daughter says she gives them her full attention.during the day but needs peace and quiet with her husband in the evening. Unfortunatley this caused a bit of conflict when we went away with our childless son.and DIL to celabrate my birthday as they have close friends who let their young children stay up till midnight and take them out to restaurants for evening meals. My Son felt that my daughter should have allowed this as we were celebrating my special birthday. I tend to agree with my daughtr as I have met these children and seen how badly behaved they were due to tiredness. However I also feel that my daughter could have compromised a little on that weekend. Sorry to have rambled on a bit but there has been a rift between my son and daughter since that weekend and me trying to put things right just made things worse. DH has buried his head in the sand. My son and DIL are expecting twins in the summer. so I will be interested to see how they deal with these matters

Iam she was like a zombie at nursery next morning and came home at lunchtime to spend the afternoon fast asleep. Another night late going to bed, but fortunately she was at home next day to get back into her routine. As soon as children start attending nursery or going out of their home to a childminder, the issue of late nights or disturbed sleep affects their ability to cope next day, it seems. She does make us laugh, though - she has realised this so looks around for things to do, instead of settling down for the night like her sister.

All children need familiar routines, especially at bed time. I enjoyed the tale of When's grand daughter's resistance to the idea, very much.

Yes. They do get let off a bit at weekends. Younger grandson did like to watch Strictly.

The two DGC I live with have a strict bedtime regime and have done from new babies they have bath and into bed no questions asked, now my other 2 young DGC have no routine what so ever they go to bed when the fall asleep be that 7pm or midnight. I know which regime I prefer.

Parents need time to unwind after a day at work or at home with young children, and the you are not doing the children any favours by keeping them up especially once they get to school.

I agree with the majority on here, all my DGC have a routine and early nights. I know sometimes there are nights where they might not want to always want to go to bed, but on the whole.....and yes slightly different times at the weekend for bed but not too late as Mummy and Daddy need time together to relax as well. I did exactly the same with all my DC and I think they have just followed the same sort of routine.

when She sounds like my dgd!

My 2 two year old twin grandaughter was disturbing her sleeping sister, singing in her cot, climbing and reciting nursery rhymes for over an hour instead of going to sleep. So, they put her in a bed in the next bedroom, read her some stories, put the safety gate on and left her to sleep, knowing her sister would now be undisturbed. By midnight, when she had thrown all her teddies across the landing, and had been standing at the gate shouting 'toast, peez!' and complaining 'dodo gone!' (dummy returned by silent parents, who would hear it hit the wall as they crept downstairs), they put her back in her cot and gave up!

My DGS has been a poor sleeper from day one. He seems to sleep very lightly and is easily disturbed, as apparently was his Dad.

I was very lucky as my two were brilliant sleepers and generally slept like logs. The sort of kids you could get dressed at Nanny's drive 25 miles home in the car and turn them out into their beds without them really stirring.
DGS is getting better but was not good at napping either.

He does have a bedtime routine though. Parents like a bit of peace and quiet.

My DGS 's both are in bed really early [bath then bed and stories, lights out] 2 yr old at 6 pm and 9 yr old at 7.30-7.45 ish.]Not only do children need loads of sleep [as others have said, they still wake up early anyway] and also parents need some time to themselves.

I think they definitely need a routine and set bedtime. My two DGDS both go to bed at 7pm although personally I think the 5 year old should go a bit later than the 2 year old ..however, their dad , my DS always needed lots of sleep
They can't do their best at school if they're always tired, and a 2 yearold needs more sleep than that one is getting. Perhaps she has a daytime sleep, perhaps that is what suits that family. However, not good if she is thundering around above you all evening!

My DD1 always hated sleep and bedtime and her 5 year old is the same, however she usually had a set bedtime and she tries to do the same with him. When he stayed with friends recently though, he told them he was allowed to stay up until 11pm - and they let him. He was evil the next day.

My ds and dil try to stick to a bed time routine, but as my dil has to work the other side of town and dgd goes to nursery there, sometimes they don't get home until 6/6.30pm.
Then they have a meal altogether with dgs too. Dgd doesn't go to bed until 8pm, but she sleeps in the car or at nursery if she's tired. Dgd is 2 yrs 3months old.

It's just not possible to stick to a timetable when you're at the mercy of the traffic.

Like everyone else, DGC have a regular routine that sees them asleep by 8.00pm.

They both have histories of being bad sleepers because of eczema and bowel problems, but as these have resolved and school age has been reached, the routine is...routine. It no doubt contributes to them doing well at school.

I have twin 4 year old GD,s who started school last term. They have tea around 5.30ish a little bit of children,s tele a bath stories and milk and bed. They are usually in bed by 7pm every school night. There is a bit more leeway on the weekends and a different routine for family holidays but they have a familiar routine always in the week for school and know it happens and accept it. Children feel safe with routines they need boundaries to feel safe. I follow my daughters routine when I visit so there is no playing off of some adults against the others.