Bedtime for small children

I totally agree with you. My grandsons have as always had proper and well managed bedtimes.I think it is essential for children but, sadly, it is going out of the window. It's all wrong.

I'm not saying I disagree with you and mine always had a routine in the house, but not everyone lives their life the same. There might be two parents who both work , maybe the child is with a child minder and its the only chance to spend time.. maybe Mum is shattered after a hard day working who knows why people life to a different cycle , maybe they like to get up later in the morning and the children sleep later.
Different cultures have different customs too, I'm just saying live and let live you even though you don't think its best for the child.

The effects of a lack of routine and reasonable bed times are readily observed by teachers up and down the land.

I agree with you Dorset. All my children had set bedtime routines. My grandchildren have set bedtime routines. Perhaps it's because of our family traditions. so of course I agree. I work in this field and spend half my working life talking about sleep. What i'v learnt from my work is that each family have their own traditions. It's only a problem if the family think its a problem. However that said once a child is at school being tired impacts on all areas of development. So there may need to be a compromise but it needs to be handled very gently with great care and respect.

My twin grandsons have a set bedtime routine at home with their mum, who no longer lives with their dad. They are happy and refreshed in the morning, ready for school, well behaved (to the extent you would hope any boisterous five year olds to be). When they stay over with their dad, they stay up late, watch TV in the bedroom, and inconsistency reigns. Next day, they're tardy, bad-tempered and running riot. If I pick them up from school, they're asleep in the car when I pull onto their driveway. They can't manage late nights and school - they're tired by 7 pm anyway after a school day. Dad takes no notice, as he enjoys spiting mum - that's why they are no longer together.

When they were two, they were in bed at 6.30 pm and awake at 7 am. Occasional family events when they stayed up were ok - they just found a lap to go to sleep on that would be a signal to get them home to bed. Small children need 11 or 12 hours in bed once they stop having daytime naps.

Yes, a bedtime routine is important for most children.

Well maybe in other cultures tanith they don't mind children falling asleep in class but here it holds them back. As well as routine for little ones, my DS and DIL are against TVs, radios and PlayStations being in children's' bedrooms. Quite a lot of secondary school children are texting, facebooking etc in all hours of the night then not being able to get up in time or literally falling asleep in class. A teacher friend of ours says some of the teens are exhausted the next day as they have no curfew or bedtime routines. All this affects their GCSE and A-levels if they get that far.

I have twin 4 year old GD,s who started school last term. They have tea around 5.30ish a little bit of children,s tele a bath stories and milk and bed. They are usually in bed by 7pm every school night. There is a bit more leeway on the weekends and a different routine for family holidays but they have a familiar routine always in the week for school and know it happens and accept it. Children feel safe with routines they need boundaries to feel safe. I follow my daughters routine when I visit so there is no playing off of some adults against the others.

Like everyone else, DGC have a regular routine that sees them asleep by 8.00pm.

They both have histories of being bad sleepers because of eczema and bowel problems, but as these have resolved and school age has been reached, the routine is...routine. It no doubt contributes to them doing well at school.

My ds and dil try to stick to a bed time routine, but as my dil has to work the other side of town and dgd goes to nursery there, sometimes they don't get home until 6/6.30pm.
Then they have a meal altogether with dgs too. Dgd doesn't go to bed until 8pm, but she sleeps in the car or at nursery if she's tired. Dgd is 2 yrs 3months old.

It's just not possible to stick to a timetable when you're at the mercy of the traffic.

I think they definitely need a routine and set bedtime. My two DGDS both go to bed at 7pm although personally I think the 5 year old should go a bit later than the 2 year old ..however, their dad , my DS always needed lots of sleep
They can't do their best at school if they're always tired, and a 2 yearold needs more sleep than that one is getting. Perhaps she has a daytime sleep, perhaps that is what suits that family. However, not good if she is thundering around above you all evening!

My DD1 always hated sleep and bedtime and her 5 year old is the same, however she usually had a set bedtime and she tries to do the same with him. When he stayed with friends recently though, he told them he was allowed to stay up until 11pm - and they let him. He was evil the next day.

My DGS 's both are in bed really early [bath then bed and stories, lights out] 2 yr old at 6 pm and 9 yr old at 7.30-7.45 ish.]Not only do children need loads of sleep [as others have said, they still wake up early anyway] and also parents need some time to themselves.

My DGS has been a poor sleeper from day one. He seems to sleep very lightly and is easily disturbed, as apparently was his Dad.

I was very lucky as my two were brilliant sleepers and generally slept like logs. The sort of kids you could get dressed at Nanny's drive 25 miles home in the car and turn them out into their beds without them really stirring.
DGS is getting better but was not good at napping either.

He does have a bedtime routine though. Parents like a bit of peace and quiet.

My 2 two year old twin grandaughter was disturbing her sleeping sister, singing in her cot, climbing and reciting nursery rhymes for over an hour instead of going to sleep. So, they put her in a bed in the next bedroom, read her some stories, put the safety gate on and left her to sleep, knowing her sister would now be undisturbed. By midnight, when she had thrown all her teddies across the landing, and had been standing at the gate shouting 'toast, peez!' and complaining 'dodo gone!' (dummy returned by silent parents, who would hear it hit the wall as they crept downstairs), they put her back in her cot and gave up!

when She sounds like my dgd!

I agree with the majority on here, all my DGC have a routine and early nights. I know sometimes there are nights where they might not want to always want to go to bed, but on the whole.....and yes slightly different times at the weekend for bed but not too late as Mummy and Daddy need time together to relax as well. I did exactly the same with all my DC and I think they have just followed the same sort of routine.

The two DGC I live with have a strict bedtime regime and have done from new babies they have bath and into bed no questions asked, now my other 2 young DGC have no routine what so ever they go to bed when the fall asleep be that 7pm or midnight. I know which regime I prefer.

Parents need time to unwind after a day at work or at home with young children, and the you are not doing the children any favours by keeping them up especially once they get to school.

Yes. They do get let off a bit at weekends. Younger grandson did like to watch Strictly.

All children need familiar routines, especially at bed time. I enjoyed the tale of When's grand daughter's resistance to the idea, very much.

Iam she was like a zombie at nursery next morning and came home at lunchtime to spend the afternoon fast asleep. Another night late going to bed, but fortunately she was at home next day to get back into her routine. As soon as children start attending nursery or going out of their home to a childminder, the issue of late nights or disturbed sleep affects their ability to cope next day, it seems. She does make us laugh, though - she has realised this so looks around for things to do, instead of settling down for the night like her sister.

My daughter has the DGC aged 5 and 2 in a strict routine which includes bath and bed by 7.30 every night. This works for them especially now the 5 year old is at school, as my daughter says she gives them her full attention.during the day but needs peace and quiet with her husband in the evening. Unfortunatley this caused a bit of conflict when we went away with our childless son.and DIL to celabrate my birthday as they have close friends who let their young children stay up till midnight and take them out to restaurants for evening meals. My Son felt that my daughter should have allowed this as we were celebrating my special birthday. I tend to agree with my daughtr as I have met these children and seen how badly behaved they were due to tiredness. However I also feel that my daughter could have compromised a little on that weekend. Sorry to have rambled on a bit but there has been a rift between my son and daughter since that weekend and me trying to put things right just made things worse. DH has buried his head in the sand. My son and DIL are expecting twins in the summer. so I will be interested to see how they deal with these matters

Sorry to hear about the rift, grandma60, I think your son should keep his opinions to himself until he has children of his own! (not meant harshly, I hasten to add - just hilarious when people without children tell others how they should be doing it!). Personally, I think once in a while staying up doesn't hurt if there is no school the next day; unfortunately my DGS (age 5) would take advantage of this any chance he could - he has always been difficult to get to sleep. DGD2 is going into a bed soon - that should be fun!

I would always say compromise on the usual routine once in a while! That will not hurt any child. Probably a no no with school next day.

OK they might be tired and whingy the next day but can be overcome.
Rigid compliance on such things is boring. One Saturday night a month or much less should not derail any child's routine. It's important to be flexible when needed.

I always had a bedtime routine - but I also think that on special occasions the rules can safely be broken. Children do understand that these are special treats and they look back on them with joy.

Yes things got very tense that weekend. DIL had just started hormone treatment for her first round of IVF and was a bit emotional saying things she would not of normally said and understandably my son backed her up. My daughter became upset and dug her heels in about the childrens bedtime (she didn't know about the IVFas we had been asked to keep it to ourselves) Our son and Dil live at the other end of the country so things are just dragging on. I love them all but I am feeling like piggy in the middle