Silly really...

Terry Wogan used to say that - I say it too! ....and I recall all of the above, paposcar.
I also say binocliers (binoculars) and dracliar (Dracula) because a child used to say that at a school where I worked - about forty years ago!
I see I am not alone in my madness - you can always rely on gransnetters for reassurance. Thanks!
(No wonder we drive our kids mad)

If I'm running late I say.. Look at the time, and not a child in the house washed!
I haven't got a clue where that comes from.

MiceElf I like that, the dosh wisher.

We travel on the Julibee Line, and we know people who are so fisticated.

Trouble is, we say it unwittingly with guests around, and I've said it at work.

We still put the pots in the dosh wisher. If only it worked...

I use a maggleflying glass quite a lot when looking at mosses and lichens, and both DH and I still refer to 'ompinters' (computers). We use innoculusses for birdwatching. These are Minibags' toddler words. There are lots more.

Who remembers...you're never alone with a Strand...What's on the table, Mabel...Ron & Eff...You are awful...hands that do dishes...come on down...I'm a Cadurys's Fruit & Nut case ...and Box 13?

I think I'll pinch the Titania one - love it!

Sadly yes, I,m worse with an audience!

I still shout 'First one to see the Plough!' the Plough was (I repeat WAS) a pub on the way to my uncles' house. The first one to shout out got a shilling from my father. I still shout it out even though the pub is now a private dwelling and I am 65. My husband thinks I am potty.

I tell my sister that I will tell mum she 'Wet behind the log' a threat I used to use when we were children. She did wet behind the log but now I see it as now big deal I still say it though.

'Just past septic' If asked the time.

Every Christmas we have a trifle as an alternative to Christmas pud. ALWAYS someone says 'I'll trifle with a trifle'. It is always a race as to who can get in first with this saying. No idea where this has come from. My mum used to say it.

She also used to waft in to a room singing 'I am Titania Queen of Fairies'! She wasn't in any way mad but it was a bit of an eccentricity of hers. I sometimes feel an urge to do it too but don't often give in

CariGransnet I suspect the pronunciation of 'erbs come from the large number of Italian immigrants in the US. Although the Italians write the letter H it is silent when they speak.
I say long words in my head, but I pronounce them the way they look which somehow helps me remember how to spell them. Hypa Bowl instead of Hyperbole for example.
DD still talks about efelants and she'll be 40 this year!

rockgran although very amusing, do you still do this if there are guests in the room?

Hee-hee! All very funny.Our family used to say 'ginormous' for anything large, which the children loved and still use to this day .

The worst is when you have family words for things and then can't get the proper word out. Like my mother with her Armadillo sherry.

henetha I do the same! I've done it since I was very young. I picture them.

Every time someone mentions ratatouille, my wife says "made with real rats".

I have to spell long words in my head whenever I come across them.
I even dream about spelling long words.
It drives me mad!!

We always refer to freshly squeezed lemmings