Silly really...

We always refer to freshly squeezed lemmings

I have to spell long words in my head whenever I come across them.
I even dream about spelling long words.
It drives me mad!!

Every time someone mentions ratatouille, my wife says "made with real rats".

henetha I do the same! I've done it since I was very young. I picture them.

The worst is when you have family words for things and then can't get the proper word out. Like my mother with her Armadillo sherry.

Hee-hee! All very funny.Our family used to say 'ginormous' for anything large, which the children loved and still use to this day .

rockgran although very amusing, do you still do this if there are guests in the room?

CariGransnet I suspect the pronunciation of 'erbs come from the large number of Italian immigrants in the US. Although the Italians write the letter H it is silent when they speak.
I say long words in my head, but I pronounce them the way they look which somehow helps me remember how to spell them. Hypa Bowl instead of Hyperbole for example.
DD still talks about efelants and she'll be 40 this year!

Every Christmas we have a trifle as an alternative to Christmas pud. ALWAYS someone says 'I'll trifle with a trifle'. It is always a race as to who can get in first with this saying. No idea where this has come from. My mum used to say it.

She also used to waft in to a room singing 'I am Titania Queen of Fairies'! She wasn't in any way mad but it was a bit of an eccentricity of hers. I sometimes feel an urge to do it too but don't often give in

I still shout 'First one to see the Plough!' the Plough was (I repeat WAS) a pub on the way to my uncles' house. The first one to shout out got a shilling from my father. I still shout it out even though the pub is now a private dwelling and I am 65. My husband thinks I am potty.

I tell my sister that I will tell mum she 'Wet behind the log' a threat I used to use when we were children. She did wet behind the log but now I see it as now big deal I still say it though.

'Just past septic' If asked the time.

Sadly yes, I,m worse with an audience!

I think I'll pinch the Titania one - love it!

Who remembers...you're never alone with a Strand...What's on the table, Mabel...Ron & Eff...You are awful...hands that do dishes...come on down...I'm a Cadurys's Fruit & Nut case ...and Box 13?

I use a maggleflying glass quite a lot when looking at mosses and lichens, and both DH and I still refer to 'ompinters' (computers). We use innoculusses for birdwatching. These are Minibags' toddler words. There are lots more.

We still put the pots in the dosh wisher. If only it worked...

MiceElf I like that, the dosh wisher.

We travel on the Julibee Line, and we know people who are so fisticated.

Trouble is, we say it unwittingly with guests around, and I've said it at work.

If I'm running late I say.. Look at the time, and not a child in the house washed!
I haven't got a clue where that comes from.

Terry Wogan used to say that - I say it too! ....and I recall all of the above, paposcar.
I also say binocliers (binoculars) and dracliar (Dracula) because a child used to say that at a school where I worked - about forty years ago!
I see I am not alone in my madness - you can always rely on gransnetters for reassurance. Thanks!
(No wonder we drive our kids mad)

Mention of Terry Wogan, Rockgran, reminds me of the real pleasure of his early-morning Radio 2 programme and laughter he and the others generated. It has never been the same since on R2, so perhaps we're better off to hang on to our memories - on that score, do any of you remember the shock of being Tangoed? The Safety 'Elf wouldn't like that these days, but is was very common in the old days.

DH refers to the computer as the confuser

Deedaa you can imagine the problem I have with the plant "plygonatum superbum"

Not quite as bad as Mr P asking a member of staff at the garden centre where the trailing labia was though

It wouldn't be Christmas in our house without DH asking 'Would you like stuffing' and DS 2 saying 'No, thank you' to be greeted with a chorus of 'Well, you'd better behave yourself then'

On the subject of Terry Wogan - does anyone else think he's lost it now?