An alphabetical poem/story

Oh no! Where is everyone? The tables were laden with half finished meals but not a soul in sight

Now they all scramble aboard and set off to sea to find the Knight.
(a compromise!)

5 seconds to late again!

Mumbling to himself, Sir G shambled up to Duffy. "What you need, Sir Knight, is a new challenge." said the cat, "Bring me an empty bottle so that I can send a message. I'm going to invite that old, bold retired dancing Knight of the Passay Doblay, Sir Brucie F, to bring his sequins and speedos here and challenge you to man- to-man combat on the beach, under strict 'Strictly' rules. That should light your candle again and give us a sight for sore eyes. Even the dragons will be terrified. Off you go!"

(Pome has turned into a story, but WTH.)

'Mary Celeste ahoy' Sir G shouted. A sailing ship was approaching the beach.
'That's what we need.'
Duffy thought - ah, ships rats again!

Listening carefully with ears pricked, Duffy heard the sounds of Sir G muttering to himself and began to think. What could he do to liven up Sir G's miserable life. Duffy was quite fond of the boring old fart, but wanted a human with a bit more excitement about him. Duff was sick and tired of having to rescue him from Komodo dragons all the time. New challenges were needed.

Kind kitty had come to the rescue again. They trundled back to the beach to search for the sailors shipwrecked from the rowing boat.

It would be nice to have a bit more human company thought Duffy, Sir G was a good cook but he was dreadfully dull.

Just as Sir G thought his end was nigh he heard the sound of galloping hooves. Xavier arrived just in the nick of time with Duffy clinging desperately to the saddle.

Instantly it went quiet, deathly quiet! What was it that Sir G had seen or heard that so quickly hushed the terrible sounds of the battle? Not those bloody Komodo Dragons he screamed. I am sick to death of the damn things!

"How the hell do we get out of this unholy mess?" he yelled in terror!

Gunpowder, grenades and a battering ram! Gadzooks thought Duffy, 'holy sh** ' exclaimed Sir G.

Four thousand more Komodo Dragons, immune to Ugli Fruit poisoning and armed with...

EeeeeeH!

Dare to look and you might find......

Could someone, or something be hiding in the bushes ?

Be afraid - be very afraid!

Awash with blown up ugli fruit Duffy and Sir G searched for an unexploded one.

Zounds! Go get 'em folks!

Yes, of course! Load up the cannons with Ugli fruit, Ladies. We'll teach these dragons a lesson they won't forget!

(I got the timing wrong again 2 mins not seconds)

(Great minds 2seconds apart.)

Xavier Arbuthnot, the renowned explorer, wrote about the Ugli fruit in 1825. He suggested they were poisonous to Komodo dragons.

Xavier (Sir G's horse) wasn't scared of Komodo Dragons so Sir G soon managed to drive them away.

Well you could have knocked Duffy over with a feather, dear old Sir G had found an orchard of Ugli fruit not more than a mile away. The only problem was a herd of Komodo Dragons were hanging around looking a bit ugly themselves.