10 Simple Words Every Girl Should Learn

Pleased to report that my GD has no problem at all holding the floor and is an expert at regaining it should her little brother should chirp up. This skill should stand her in good stead in life.

I'm afraid that DS2 is beginning to show signs of this syndrome. I tell him when I'm going to arrive for a weekend, Friday arrives and his partner texts to ask when I'm coming. However, on the whole, he is an equal partner around the house and with the boys. He just doesn't listen to his mother!

It's definitely a man thing!

DH would tell me that my suggestion would never work, then come home a few days later to inform me that X at work had had a very good idea - which I recognised as identical to mine.

Gransnet can be so soothing sometimes.

I have been getting very frustrated with DH because he has the habit of repeating back to me something I told him half a minute earlier.

I wondered what his problem was but now I know other men do it I feel much calmer.

I don't think this strategy would work - men would simply ignore what was said or think you were whining/complaining.

But isn't your belief of that proving that the conditioning has worked? I put the blame on women for most of this continuing to happen; if women shut up as soon as they're told, or coerced into it, they have only themselves to blame. Men have had it their own way for so long, why should they willingly give up control? They will fight to the bitter end!

Me - "I'd love to try to write a book, but it's so difficult with no...." Him - "talent?". I was actually going to say spare time.

An alternative end could have been 'I have the same level of talent for writing as I do for choosing a good husband' - and leave it hanging there with a nice smile on your face ...

At least if they finish your sentences, they must have been listening to the beginning! My XH didn't even do that.

Oh Maggie. I would be tempted to say, the only talent you appear to have is finishing my sentences and even that, you do badly!

Is this something he passes off as a sense of humour? That is usually DH's default and how sad for them that we simply don't get the joke. Nice try

Mine jumps in finishing my sentences if I pause for even a second. I hate it! Especially as he is often so wrong about what he thought I was going to say. Me - "I'd love to try to write a book, but it's so difficult with no...." Him - "talent?". I was actually going to say spare time.

DH often finishes my sentences for me which some numpties seem to think it's the result of a long and loving relationship.

Bollocks Rubbish! It's beyond annoying and I never do it to him.

DH always defers to my superior wisdom/knowledge.

Whenever DH crows about something to DDs which was my idea, the girls look at my face then look at DH and say, "well done Mum"! They learned from an early age.

It happened to me several times in team discussions at work....my suggestions were brushed aside, and re-gurgitated shortly after by a particular male colleague. Eventually, I just smiled very broadly and said he must be surprised at how good a mind reader I was, as I could express his views before he did.

I have never experienced this - I am a might too feisty!!

There used to be a comedy sketch on tv where a group of men talk about a problem, the woman in the group solves it, and says how to do it, the men listen, and then immediately go back to their discussion about how to do it, and the sketch always ends with her saying loudly 'Err, excuse me, you can anyone actually HEAR me?'They don't answer that either.

Gagagran My Oh does just that and also says "No its not like that" and then rephrases exactly the point I have just made.

I hate it and shout back.

I think we should develop the same selective hearing that men have perfected.
Just totally ignore them unless you want something!

I'm loving the adverts when a husband is trying to get a larger/flashier tv by 'soft soaping' his wife, so he can watch the football.
It really shows how hopeless men are at understanding women.

I had a father who dominated all conversations or discussions by shouting. He was ex-army and addressed any group as he had addressed his soldiers. Loudly.

DH tends to shout me down and not let me finish my sentence before diving in with his contradiction. I really dislike that and tell him so but still he does it.

My considered solution, given that most men have stronger and louder voices than we of the weaker sex would be to have a police whistle on me and blow it loudly at such times. Do you think that might work?

Things don't change much do they? I suppose our dear old house of commons is a reflection of the world outside. Women get shouted down, patronised and insulted by men so often. I wonder how much of it is down simply to the differences in the way men and women approach, well, life really. Whether its socialisation or biology continues to be discussed, but the reality is that women are more inclined to listen to others, to accommodate difference points of view, and to mediate in groups in order to find a consensus.
That isn't to say women can't have a solid disagreement at times - example some of the more political/in the news type discussions on Gransnet

Good article and so true. This sort of thing gets my blood pressure soaring, and I'm not backward at coming forward with my very sharp tongue.

I don't think this strategy would work - men would simply ignore what was said or think you were whining/complaining. When I was a college head of department, with a vast majority of male staff, I often found myself chairing meetings at which I was the only woman. A great ploy for getting attention/back on track was to ask - Will someone open a window please? I'm having a hot flush. They instantly fell silent and threw covert glances at me as if I was a bomb about to go off. I realise this strategy wouldn't suit all situations but it was very effective when used sparingly.

Me too - (but I think he's getting a bit deaf). I hate it at the pub quiz when someone else gets congratulated for "my" correct answer. When I say "I just said that!" it sounds so petty but I can't ignore it. I hate anyone taking credit when it is not deserved.

Great blog. There is now a lot of research in this area which is great.
I remember reading Man Made Language by Dale Spender 20 yrs ago which explored some of this. Recommend it.
I am a very confident talker and quite comfortable training a room full of men or chairing a meeting full of men. But I have the advantage of growing up to the age of 11 in an all female household and going to a girls grammar school.
I do though notice that I don't "hold forth" in the way that some men do when they are putting their point of view. I am better at facilitating a discussion than arguing my corner and convincing others.
I do often notice that some men are much more comfortable addressing my husband - but even if he was not around these chaps don't really know how to hold a normal conversation with a grown up woman.

Well this is me at home OH always interrupt and repeats exactly what I have just said.