Coping with terminally ill grandchild

My thoughts are with you. My darling first grandson would have been 16 years old this week but was born very disabled and died at 5 months old. I do not know how we and our daughter and her husband coped at the time but we did and now we look back and feel priveleged for the short time we knew him and all the love we gave him and received from him. All I can say is just be there for him and his parents whether they want to talk about him, shout at the world in general feel the unfairness of it all. You of course will also have these feelings and feel that this is the one thing you cannot put right eventhough with all your heart you feel you should be able too, after all should we not be able to protect our children.
A very mixed up time just take each day as it comes and do not feel wrong having a cry and a shout at the unfairness of the world youself. Remember you will have always had the privelage of knowing and loving your grandchild and nothing can take that away.
I hope this helps

What sad news, Nanacindi. And others who have experienced similar sadness. Who knows why these things happen.
As others have said, family support is the most important thing.
Thinking of you all.

Just can't find the words - others have said it much better than I ever could. Our daughter's best friend lost a little one to meningitis and it was so hard for all of them- as you said jane- quite rightly is all the support focused on the parents and sibblings- so it must be so hard for grandparents to be brave, strong and support- and yet grieve and hurt so much.
Thinking of you all suffering in this was-

There is nothing to say that will make this easier, except that strengthening thoughts are here for you.

Sending lots of love and prayers at this incredibly difficult time for you and your family.

I have lost a child only through miscarriage but I did lose my baby brother when I was 14 years old. He lived for only 12 hours and died in hospital. I did not get to see him. I haven't even a photo. Time helps the pain but I do think about him all the time and what sort of relationship we would have had. I was offered no counselling, in the 70's maybe things were different then. He is always in my heart, I wear jewellery for him which I will never take off. It makes me feel a connection to him, it's all I have.

cretin and nanacindi I hope that you'll both find support as and when you need it and can maybe continue to share your experiences if it's helpful. To lose a child or a grandchild is particularly hard to bear - my sympathies to all who are or have been in that situation.

I lost my lovely nephew in 1994 when he was 13. He had very severe asthma and exzema, was hospitalised regularly. He was at home playing with friends, went into the bathroom and we heard him fall. He'd had a massive heart attack and he was gone from us. It is very difficult, his dad/my brother took many years to get back to the person he now is, a different person, but happy again. We have always talked about him but it was in particular chats with his minister that got my brother through.

Oh Nanacindi, your post put my problems in July very much into perspective and my thoughts are with you.

I know this post is from August but I need someone to talk with. Our lovely Grandson who will be 7 in Jan has just started Chemo for a rare cancer that is very difficult to treat. We are devastated. Up until 3 weeks ago he was fine. How do we cope I can hardly bear it seeing our daughter and son in law in such pain.
It is like being in a terrible nightmare. We love him so much. I don' t know how we will carry on if anything happens to him.

Hello priestbridge
I cannot imagine how awful this must be and do hope some GNs will be able to help. My thoughts are very much with you all x

My thoughts are with you. How hard to stay strong for your DD when you too are suffering.

I too send you both ((((((hugs))) I hope you will be able to comfort each other through what must be the worst time of your lives.

I am so very sorry, priestbridge. What an awful shock for you all. x

Priestbridge (((hugs)))

((( hugs. )))

Priestbridge I've PMd you (((hugs))))

Priestbridge I'm so sorry, what a dreadful shock for you all. I wish I could help, I'm sending my very best wishes.

Oh Priestbridge this is every grandparent's nightmare. I am so sorry for you all. A grandchild's illness seems to be even more upsetting than a child's because you've got them both to worry about. I do hope his treatment goes well.

Sending best wishes

priestbridge I am so very sorry that you're going through this awful experience and truly hope that the outcome is a good one. You will get support on here if you need it - and sometimes the kindness of strangers is what we need when close family and friends are sharing the pain and don't want to burden each other.

As a mother and grandmother, I can only begin to imagine the agony some of you are having to bear. There have been some wonderful posts already, which I echo, and send my own heartfelt sympathies.

I can only echo what everyone else has said priestbridge. Do come and unload on here and join in other threads too!

My heart goes out to both of you. This December 17th is the 30th anniversary of my sons death. He died of Leukaemia after a 6 month illness. I was not in contact with my parents at the time as we were estranged ( long story) but we had huge support from my in laws. My mother in law said afterwards it was very difficult for her when she heard me cry in private she didn't know what to do. My father in law was so devastated he and Christopher had a very special bond, and he had lost his youngest brother to the same thing many years before.

It is the hardest thing any family will ever go through. Collect your memories however you can. Talk to each other don't hide your feelings. No matter what happens nothing can take your relationship with this child away from you, you will always be their parent/ grandparent. Even in the bitterest of grief I am so glad I had my son for the time I had him. I loved him so much and still do and so will you with yours.

Good Bless you all and please feel free to private message me if I can help you in any way.

The serious illness and death of innocent children is something we'll never understand. They arouse so much love when they're alive, and maybe even more afterwards.
My thoughts and prayers with your family

My heart goes out to anyone in this position. I have no experience and no help to offer, but you are all in my thoughts and prayers.