Saying no!

DS aged 17 wanted to take a bottle of whisky he had won in a sailing regatta(!) to a party. DH was working away for 3 months so I was the sole wielder of authority.
We compromised with a bottle of white wine.

With offsprings, we were always careful to pick important things to say 'no'
to and let trivial things go.
But they soon learnt that no meant 'No'.

So true J52, its so easy to snap 'no' when you are busy without thinking it through, and because no means no, defending a decision you wish you hadn't made !

A couple of weeks ago.............

ds "Who's in charge here?"

dgd (age 2 and a half) "ME!"

ds "Who's in charge at nana's?"

dgd "Nana"

Smug smirk from nana.

The scenario - a group of school friends (all girls) planning an evening at a local nightspot with an above 16 years age limit. The visit is to celebrate the end of the school year. My almost 17 year old is going, along with a group of her friends. A group of our youngest daughters pals are also going. Most of them are 16, but our youngest is 15 as she's an end of August birthday.

Youngest D - I bet you won't let me go will you?
Me - Well, as your sister and so many girls I know well are going, and you're sensible (etc etc) maybe I'd consider it

YD - I knew you'd say NO
Me - I think what I said was I'm open to discussion, though I would rather you wait till you're 16
YD - That's it, then I knew you wouldn't let me
Me - Would you rather I simply said No, so you can tell your pals you aren't allowed?
YD - ok mum, thanks, I'll tell the others you just won't let me

Sighs of relief from YD (and from me)

Used to have major rows with DD whenever I said no.

20 years on she admitted that although she always raised Cain when I said no, she would always do as I said in the end because, as I rarely did say 'no' she always felt that perhaps, just perhaps, I might have a good reason for it and it would probably be wiser to do as I said.

On the other hand I have a large picture of me on the wall in the kitchen. It is a good likeness and there is a big bubble coming out of my mouth saying 'No'. This is because DGC have learnt that when Grandma says no she means it and I will just sit/stand where I am, stopping the malefactor doing the forbidden activity and just repeating quietly and firmly 'No'