Chores wars

He will wash plates, cups and cutlery but all pans are 'left to soak' in cold water - until I get fed up and do them myself.

When our children were little, DH dealt with any sick type things and I dealt with poo type things! The one time I had to deal with sick, I added to the problem!

As far as the cats are concerned, I still do the poos and DH deals with any bodies! The reason we probably won't have another dog is because I seem to have been picking up poo for the last forty odd years!

In our early married life we had cats, the division was I dealt with sick and poo, he cleared the little mouse corpses. It worked fine with cats, but seemed less than fair three children later

Anything that needs washing up or recycling is placed neatly on the worktop because "I don't know where all this stuff goes" Well we've only lived in this house for 15 years, I couldn't possibly expect him to have found out yet

Some chores may be enjoyable or, at least, satisfying. However, nobody like cleaning out and refilling the cats' litter trays.

The important thing is for partners to do what they like doing where possible. My OH likes doing chores and for many years has done the housework and the laundry. I shop (online), iron and cook. We share the admin stuff. Works for us.

The implication in the questionnaire is that chores are bad an no-one wants to do them. OH seems to like it!

My husband was one of the laziest people on the planet - he just refused to do anything other than a bit of weeding in the garden every so often. He had one household task: emptying the kitchen bin. When asked to empty the bin he'd say 'why do I always have to empty the bin'!

There were rare occasions that he'd mow the lawn - then everyone would have to spend the next few days admiring it when he pointed it out, several times every single day.

And people wonder why I won't get married (or live with anyone) again

Yes, goldengirl, me too! I've been trying to clear our cellar, which is a haven for all our junk. Yesterday evening I was feeling good as I could actually see a fair expanse of carpet tiles and could at last get from the door to my washing machine without scaling obstacles in the way. This morning I opened the door and found my new space has been filled with 3 massive holdalls and several carrier bags, each spilling over with footballs, tabards, boots and other sporting equipment. Aaaargh!!!!

The mantra in our house from the male side is 'see a surface, put something on it' Drives me nuts

Sorry for double identical post - fat finger syndrome.

I'm so glad I did this quiz because it told me I do most of the work. How would I have known otherwise?

Fresh out of university in 1973 I had 2 married friends who shared chores and money 50-50. The husband (an economist) used his "allowance" to pay for a cleaner who did his share of the chores. His wife was furious but could, fortunately, see his point!

Fresh out of university in 1973 I had 2 married friends who shared chores and money 50-50. The husband (an economist) used his "allowance" to pay for a cleaner who did his share of the chores. His wife was furious but could, fortunately, see his point!

m.youtube.com/watch?v=pN0Y2EZuvTU&autoplay=1
This is the link to the instructional video for teenagers that jamsidedown mentioned. There's a loading the dishwasher one too

Mine too, but over the years I have learnt simply to refuse to enter the kitchen until he has cleared up - even refusing to cook Sunday lunch the following day to show I meant business. Luckily for me, he loves cooking and is wonderful at it, so threats like that work. I told him that the sight of the kitchen, and the thought of having to clear up after him, depressed me so much and made me not want him to cook, even though it gave me a night off from cooking I would rather have had a takeaway. He took that on board and now clears up, although the floor may still be somewhat floury the next day.

I once hired a chef to come to our house and give him cookery lessons, as a birthday present. She was a teacher at the Prue Leith cookery school. When she asked what he wanted to learn, I told her that I really didn't mind, nor did he, but that what I really, really wanted her to do was show him how to clear up after himself as he went along. She knew exactly what I meant. He ignored my years of entreaties, but paid attention to a professional.

gillybob At least yours is 50% more evolved than mine But I do empathise with your 'teabag' frustration.

The even more annoying thing is that he is retired, but I'm still working.

I don't think it really matters who does what as long as it works for the people involved and importantly that there is no resentment!

I wouldn't care if my DH just sat in the chair all day, so long as he was still here!
I miss his cooking. He was an excellent cook and actually enjoyed it. Cleaning up after was a different matter! He'd say he'd done it but! His idea of cleaning up and mine were very different.

Is it a generational thing? I know that both my sons are 'new men', though not so new now! Both have full-time working partners and take their share of both house and garden work - not to mention ferrying children around to various activities. I am not sure that my rearing of them has had this effect - more that they see their partnerships as just that.

Yes, I saw that. I showed DS, who has already reached the Advanced level, but we thought maybe DBH isn't quite ready for that.

There is a wonderful YouTube video a dad has made for his teenaged children, with instructions on how to replace the loo roll - he decided that putting the empty roll in the bin was too advanced and would leave that for another time - very tongue in cheek but very funny. Maybe some DHs should watch?
jingl thanks for suggesting I am a lady

Anya Exactly the same happens here. I frequently point out that 'It's your house too, you are allowed to do things in it, you know! As long as you leave it clean afterwards!'

It's taken him 19 years to learn to dispose of toilet roll innards. He occasionally stacks the dishwasher without being asked, but rarely thinks to empty it. It's supposed to be his job on a Sunday morning, occasionally I wait for him and remind him.

Both DS and DBH are perfectly happy to do it, don't get me wrong. They just don't see that it needs doing. They would be perfectly happy to live in squalor. And if you think that it must be hard to live with that - yes, occasionally, if I am feeling ill, but compared to Ex who had a mother with OCD and insisted that I kept our house to her standards, it's Paradise not to have to do it if I don't feel like it, and to have someone else happy to help. Which Ex wasn't. In fact he used to say 'You don't keep a dog, and bark yourself'. Which is one of the reasons why he is Ex.

We have a kind of "bin wars" too nightowl except ours involves putting a new bin bag in. DH will happily empty the bin into the outside wheelie bin, but can't bring himself to put a new bin bag in. This really annoys me especially when, with tea bag in hand I go to plop it in and find NO BL@@DY bin bag !

These sort of threads make my blood pressure shoot up!
I have to avoid them as I find myself shouting at all you hard working wives.

How on earth do you stop yourselves from hitting them over the head mentioning how lazy they are?

Sorry I can't do a link on my phone.
This is the thread I was thinking of.

Sun28thSept-14 16-57
mrsmopp
Retired Couples-division of labour

Yes it does refer to retired couples, rather than all but very similar [ smile]