What frightens you about getting older ?

On the whole I am a positive person and try to make the best of things, however if I get some awful physical illness or dementia starts I want to be given by my doctor a pill that I can take when it all seems too much and I want to drift off and not wake up.

I now realise why my Mum fought tooth and nail not to go into a Home because she realised that she would lose control over her destiny. She died in her own home and that was her plan and I want the same.

Great posts about positivity, especially from littlegran. Kiora's Mil sounds like someone who has always been aware of the negative side of life. Increasingly, it's my belief we get more like ourselves as we age

Ditto to most of what's already been said. elena I could have written your reply. I have thought of writing a letter to my future older self. Mainly because My Mil talks about nothing else.Her doctors, her ailments, in between a blow by blow account who said what,then I said that. what she ate. I know that her life has shrunk but if I'm honest she always been a bit wrapped up in herself. She's been telling me she's going to die for the last 20 years. She complains none stop. No one wants to visit. I so don't want to be like her. I hope I'm not a miserable disappointed old git. It's a scary concept getting older. I try not to think about it too much. Family members of the generation just above me, the people who've always been there in a crisis, who've loved me all my life are dropping like flies. I had another uncle die on Sunday. It's making me think before long I'll part of the oldest generation in our family. Scary. But like someone said "better than the alternative"

Well said, Littlegran, you are a fine example to all of us!

littlegran that's impressive! What an inspiration you are.

Very heartening "littlegran* and I admire you immensely for helping others and having such a positive approach to life.

Do you see those that are in hospital - perhaps frequently or for prolonged periods - as being a "burden" on their families and wider society? As you are playing your part in helping them, I'm sure you don't. Why shouldn't the same consideration be extended to you if you need it? I can understand a person not wishing to live too long if that means they have little quality of life but I do hate the notion that a person - whatever their age - should consider themselves to be a burden.

Having said that, I do feel more support should be offered to carers.

Well done littlegran - that's the spirit.

Good on you littlegran - are you our oldest GNetter I wonder? And never mind being a burden, hang in in there for your ton.

As the joke goes - I want to go in my sleep like my dad, not screaming like his passengers!

all the previous messages. i am already old ay 92 but in reasonable health, dont hear too well and sight not so clear. biggest worry is not dying but living too long and becoming a burden on my family although they say that would never happen. I am so pleased i can still volunteer at my local hospital with RVS doing the trolley round one afternoon per week thanks to my friend who drives me there and back. it shows me that there are so many people much worse than me and i am very lucky. i have a very suportive family.

Well said jingl
No point worrying about what may never happen - just deal with the s*it when it does!

My sentiments entirely jings

But, I am sitting in the car outside my mum's nursing home and I wouldn't wish living there on anyone! My mum has an appalling memory but is compus mentis generally and the cacophone of the other residents (most with advanced dementia) is horrendous and offensive to her! I hate going and one of my brothers rarely goes because it upsets him so much!

I rarely think about the future. I just want there to be lots of it.

I wish I hadn't read this at all, really. After a bad fall last week I am still struggling around with a stick, and the limitations are driving me mad. What is driving me even more mad is people who mean well telling me not to move, which I know is not a good thing at all, I need to get my leg working as long as I don't overdo it. So added to all the above, I am not looking forward to too many people telling me what to do and when to do it, much of it conflicting.

I can't drive so that isn't a major issue for me - although my husband does. Luckily, I live in London where public transport is very good.

Obviously, things like dementia and general ill health or incapacity are a worry as you get older. But I can also identify with Elena's response of fearing becoming a "bore". I think, mainly because elderly people are more likely to be less mobile and more isolated, they tend to become more focused on themselves - their health, their likes and dislikes, etc., etc., and less focused on other people and what's going on in the world.

Also, I do think there's a tendency for older people to be overlooked and undervalued in our society - and a view that they form some sort of amorphous lump of like-minded people which, as Gransnet demonstrates, couldn't be further from the truth. I've noticed that, for instance, holiday companies that have a particular appeal for older people - such as Warners - always seem to include such activities as bingo, bowls, ballroom dancing, etc., which, I think, reinforces a very stereotypical view of old age.

Initially not being able to drive because it would mean leaving my home and moving somewhere with good public transport. Losing my sight would be another worry, I love reading and the TV is sometimes my company especially on winter nights.

Moving to a residential home would not worry me too much - as long as I was compus mentis (sp) enough to choose it! As I live alone I think my biggest worry is dying alone and nobody finding me for some time (makes mental note to ask neighbour to check if curtains not opened by mid-day!)

I never talk about my ailments unless pressed - I agree its a boring subject for others to listen to.

Atqui I have an aunt who had a stroke in her 60s and it has left her like that. You're right, it is a terrifying thought.

Losing my independence, having to go into a home, dementia, downward mental and physical slide -after this not being able to drive. There is always on line shopping from supermarkets if need be and the odd taxi ride for the doctors etc - no regular bus service here and no pavement to walk along if there were! It is the loss of control of various faculties that worries me the most. I would like to decide when to die, having lost both my parents to cancer and seen how that goes.

Crikey, this is a dismal post even for a Monday!

Hope you'll be able to drive again soon Pompa. My Dad kept driving until the day he died and he had bad hearing smoked and drank. He drove very slowly though!
I'm banking on the fact that physically I take after him and he died suddenly, standing at the sink washing up.

I'm terrified of having a stroke and being left unable to communicate, whilst being mentally aware.

And I definitely don't want to become a bore!

I'm with papaoscar - no long drawn out, slow decline please! I don't want to be like my MIL - advanced Alzheimer's and trapped in that physical body, which is "in good health" according to her doctor. Not like a friend who at 93 has a permanent catheter and is doubly incontinent from a botched bowel operation following cancer.

I'd like to go in my sleep like my old uncle recently.

I would hate to lose my mobility.

I would like a tattoo of "do not resuscitate" stamped on my forehead.

There was me just worrying about not driving, looks like I've loads of other things to worry about now.

My MiL is 92 and apart from needing help with shopping and visits to dr and dentist etc, is fully in possession of her marbles and is the hub of the family.
She rings everyone up every week and then relays the news about the rest of the extended family.
She's been a widow for nearly 50 years and most of her friends have died now, but I've never once heard her grumble about anything.
Last year when asked what she would like for Christmas, she said 'another 10 years!'