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A Couple of humorous poems to brighten your day!

(11 Posts)
Mishap Sun 26-Oct-14 11:12:20

Same subject matter - different stages of life!

APuppy Called Puberty

It was like keeping a puppy in your underpants
Asecret puppy you weren't allowed to show to anyone
Not even your best friend or your worst enemy
You wanted to pat him, stroke him, cuddle him
All the time you weren't supposed to touch him.
He only slept for five minutes at a time
Then he'd suddenly perk up his head
In the middle of school medical inspection
And always on bus rides.
So you had to climb down from the upper deck
All bent double to smuggle the puppy off the bus
Without the buxom conductress spotting
Your wicked and ticketless stowaway.
Jumping up, wet-nosed, eagerly wagging-
He only stopped being a nuisance
When you were alone together
Pretending to be doing your homework
But really gazing at each other
Through hot and lazy daydreams
Of those beautiful schoolgirls on the bus
With kittens bouncing in their sweaters.
By Adrian Mitchell

"I have outlived my pecker." by Willie Nelson

My nookie days are over,
My pilot light is out.
What used to be my sex appeal,
Is now my water spout.
Time was when, on its own accord,
From my trousers it would spring.
But now I've got a full time job,
To find the f***in' thing.
It used to be embarrassing,
The way it would behave.
For every single morning,
It would stand and watch me shave.
Now as old age approaches,
It sure gives me the blues.
To see it hang its little head,
And watch me tie my shoes!!

pompa Sun 26-Oct-14 11:16:29

LOL, seem to vaguely remember the first, the second is a bit too close to the truth.

janeainsworth Sun 26-Oct-14 13:24:22


Anya Sun 26-Oct-14 14:06:00

Thanks for the laugh Mishap

NanKate Sun 26-Oct-14 14:20:59

We'll they have certainly brightened mine. grin

PRINTMISS Sun 26-Oct-14 16:14:42

and mine!

Bellasnana Sun 26-Oct-14 19:20:29

Mine too grin

NfkDumpling Sun 26-Oct-14 20:53:48

Oh, you are awful! grin

(And feeling better?)

hildajenniJ Sun 26-Oct-14 21:07:04

Not the same subject at all, but Pam Ayres once said,

I am a dry stone waller,
All day long I dry stone wall,
Of all appalling callings,
Dry stone walling's worst of all.

Eloethan Sun 26-Oct-14 23:30:10

Mishap and hilda smile

henetha Mon 27-Oct-14 11:08:25

Brilliant! Thanks... grin