Subtle cyberbullying

jingle that's a good suggestion...

I don't think this is a mistake though, these girls all know each other from primary school, or most of them do anyway, with a few new ones thrown in.

New girl's mantra......Put yourself in a good light. jingl is right. Try a little sucking up and there might be the chance of a last minute invite.

I don't think facebook can be blamed for subtle bullying. Kids put everything on there so if your niece found out via fb that she was the only one not invited it may not have been deliberate.

It's horrible to be feeling left out but the best way to get around it is to be VERY friendly to all the other girls. They often haven't a clue how to treat a new girl and the best way to turn it around is to make sure that one missed invite leads to plenty of future ones.

I was the new girl in twelve different schools.....Chin up!!

Would she be prepared to take in a birthday card for the girl giving the party? It wouldn't help the present situation, but it might soften up the other girl and help in future relationships for her within the class. And you never know, she might get a last minute invite.

It could be, quite simply, that she is new at the school, so no-one in the class really knows her and that is why she wasn't asked to the party. Next year, when she has been there longer and had a chance to get to know her classmates, she will probably be included.

My DD has had the same thing happen to her and it is very difficult to 'talk it up' in a positive way. I would suggest that as parents it is our responsibility to point out to children/teenagers sorting out who to invite to their party that it is very hurtful to be left out and that they either have a few select friends or the whole lot, it is crushingly hurtful to be the only one in the class not to be invited.

It's very sad. Perhaps parents should think about this aspect when arranging parties, they need to teach their children good manners in this respect.

Either have a limited number of the closest friends or the lot but don't leave out one particular person.

The other thing is though, is she sure that every one but her has been invited.

aw, poor girl.
But as TriciaF says, it may be a genuine mistake.
Perhaps she could ask someone she thinks appropriate, if she is actually invited?

I think there is an issue about age, here. You have to be 13 to have a facebook account, but I think this is too young, and that 15 or 16 is more appropriate. The problem with social media is that it is both public and permanent and I would question whether very young teenagers can be expected to handle this. Many adults find the construction of an online persona quite a challenge - deciding what to share, and with whom to share it - and it is expecting quite a degree of sophistication for youngsters to cope with all the implications.

This happened to my GD and it wasn't a mistake. Fortunately my GD's best friend refused to go either but the hurt was done.

I think this sort of thing goes on a lot on social media unfortunately. This is my problem with Facebook. People can feel left out and then start questioning why they are left out and coming to all sorts of conclusions - that they are not good enough, don't fit in etc. I keep away from it personally but I know from my own granddaughter that this isn't an option for young folks these days.

The poor girl! But here could be a simple explanation - eg the party girl's parents didn't have a full list of the girls in the class.
I've heard of that kind of thing happening with wedding invites etc. Or the invitation was sent and got lost somehow.

Grrrr!! Grannyknot. I'm so glad FB etc wasn't around when our kids were younger. Life is difficult enough as it is. Don't know what the answer is though. Sorry that's not much help but I do feel for you and her.

Things weren't that much better before FB etc really, I was invited to my best friend's 14th birthday party until another girl got her hooks into her and suddenly I was uninvited. It is just much more hidden.

Maybe the best advice is that to have good friends it is necessary to be a good friend and maybe she can be friends with someone else who also feels left out. But it is difficult when you want to be part of the in-crowd and the in crowd isn't really the best place to be!