Damned with faint praise.

I think it's hard to know what your friend really meant AnnSixty.It's often hard to read people isnt it?She could have really meant she thought you always looked well turned out, or it could well be that she was fishing for compliments for herself, hoping you would say 'oh you always look so attractive' or something along those lines. Who Knows? I wouldn't worry about it though.

.....at least he didn't say zimmer frame....

My mother had a negative outlook and was constantly putting people down. She never really went out and I'm pretty sure her caustic attitude was a cover for her insecurities. In those days I didn't know any better and accepted that she was grumpy and bad tempered.

One day I came home from school and a particular posh-ish aunt had called to visit. As I went into the kitchen my mother said to my aunt......would you look at her, no matter what you'd get her she looks like nothing. I was about 14 at the time and in school uniform.

Please accept any compliments that come your way.
Everyone has their own beauty.

Sorting through halloween masks at the local pound shop my little GS looked up at me and said sweetly 'But Grandma,let's go, you don't really need a mask' I know he meant that he didn't like any of them and was a little scared of them. The two women standing by obviously thought differently.

When I was a child and my mum bumped into people she knew they would always look at me and say "she looks like a farmer's daughter". I don't think that one was a compliment or is it me?

Once, when I was an anxious young teenager, I proudly presented my self for inspection in my new outfit. My Grandmother took a long look then said "well at least you`ve got one good leg"! To crown it all she wouldn't tell me which one. I`ve always been left wondering................

I absolutely do not think that was "faint praise! Don't be so hard on yourself BUT I think I am hearing inner doubts about how you look- frumpy and dowdy?? Unlikely! But it occurs to me that your friend might enjoy a shopping trip together especislly if you say something along the lines of "You have such great taste/style I'd welcome your guidance" It might take her out of herself and help both of you at the same time.

Thank you Soutrabut I really am rather dowdy just now. I am overweight and I am 77. Perhaps I will take you up on the suggestion to go shopping with my new friend. I know she is keen to get out and her ideas may well rub off on me.!!

Annsixty without knowing you can I suggest you substitute the word "classic" ? Then get yourself a gorgeous colourful scarf! A big one is best- the colours will reflect a d lighten ypur face and instantly jazz up the plainest outfit! Good luck!

Being overweight doesn't mean dowdy. There is a delightful on Come dine with me this week who is a little round but is full of laughter, wit and fun. She has a wardrobe full of kaftans and wears nothing else. Her personal vibe is catching, you cannot fail to be charmed by her, take a look if you have time, she really makes you feel good and a lot can be learned from a person like this.

delightful lady

Actually, if someone described me as 'neat and tidy' I would be over the moon.

Yes, it's nicer than the Wurzel Gummidge look isn't it?

I once bemoaned the fact that I had nothing nice to wear to go out in. My mother looked me up and down and said "you'll pass in a crowd". I was less than flattered.
jingle when I worked in a grocery store we used to have back fat left over from preparing the bacon. We used to sell it cheaply to customers. I have never known what they used it for though.

When I was an art student my mother used to refer to me as Mick Jagger I suspect that neat and tidy is still not my thing.

I went to my brother-in-law's funeral, and met one of his brothers for the first time. He knew two of my sisters, who look nothing like each other. One is ash blonde, straight hair, tall and willowy with blue eyes. The other is shorter and curvier with dark reddish curly hair, and hazel eyes.

I am shorter and curvier with mid-blonde reddish curls and blue eyes. He looked at me and said - 'Aha! Now I see it! You are the missing link'.

Many, many years ago, when we were newlyweds, my OH went to a mate's stag 'do' that included a visit to a strip club. When he came home I was naturally curious to know what the experience was like - especially the performers. His reply was "They were all awful - honestly YOU could have got a job there!" Needless to say, he's never been allowed to forget it!

The in-laws came to stay for my thirtieth birthday. We had some friends round for a meal and MIL chose that moment to give me my present.

'I know you'll like this' she said. 'I thought it was very you.'

It was a bottle of that well-known 1970s perfume, TRAMP!!

merlotgran, thanks for making me laugh. I do hope you were able to laugh

merlot and grannieanne I've just had an almost sleepless night punctuated by nasty dreams, your posts made me with my early morning cuppa, thank you

The only good things about my looks are my pearls, and they're in for restringing as they broke the other evening.
Wish I could go for the equivalent of being restrung?
What do you good neat and tidy ladies suggest I do about it?
At the moment I feel very dowdy and untidy in spite of just having spent a fortune on new winter clothes as I've 'grown out of' my old ones and don't seem to be able to get my weight down.

Galen I think one's sense of dishevelment/dowdiness etc is more in the mind than the external appearance. People who appear dowdy and untidy usually either do not know or do not care how they look.

My own DD has always been on the large size, since she was a year old, despite visits and consultations with health visitors and dieticians and my own careful monitoring of what she ate, my closest friend from school is similar. Both of them work on the basis of its not what I look like it is what I am.

DD flaunts her cleavage and as someone who swims up to 15 miles a week, winter and summer, has no hesitation about being seen in public in a swimming costume at the pool or on the beach. DF is equally gung-ho.

It is what you are, not what you look like that counts and, from your postings on GN I think your personality will outshine your figure any day.

Galen having met you, I can safely say that the word which springs immediately to mind when I think of you is 'majestic'.
So there!

You are a very elegant lady Galen........without even trying

O wad some power the giftie gie us.